[Carl's car crashes on his roof]
CCarl
Ohh, do not tell me that that is my car up there on the roof!
Okay, we won't.
CCarl
Get it down!
Okay.
CCarl
Wait, wait no don't! [car crashes to the ground] DAMMIT!
S1Dumber Days
S1Interfection
(his head has shrunk and speaking in a high pitch voice) GENTLEMEN! TURN IT ON!
Okay. (pushes a button to pump Dr Weird's head)
Dr Weird (head gets bigger and bigger) TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!
Plaque is a figment of the liberal media and the dental industry to scare you into buying useless appliances and pastes. Now, I've read the arguments on both sides, and I haven't found any evidence yet to support the need to brush your teeth. Ever.
I don't know how you'd know; you ain't got no teeth.
Well, I got rid of my teeth at a young age, because...I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people. That's why fairies come and get 'em.
If teeth make me gay then sign me up, 'cause I wish I had 'em.
Computer, search for teeth and plaque conspiracy (pause), and Metallica.
And Justin Timberlake. [Shake ignores him] Do a search for Justin Timberlake. [Shake continues to ignore him] ... J-U-S--
Please hush up. The search needs complete silence to work.
Oh shoot, I forgot. I'm sorry.
Well, I'm sorry, but if you can't learn that little lesson, then someone's going to get their little mouth stabbed shut with skewers! And then we'll see how easily the axe slices through the meat!
[Meatwad's eyes get big, then he starts bawling.]
All right, okay. Maybe that was a little huge. Listen, I would never hit you with an axe...
[Meatwad's sobs subside as he pauses for a second and looks up at Master Shake]
...when you had skewers stabbed through your mouth.
[Meatwad immediately resumes crying.]
I would think one or the other would be enough.
All right! Five point nine percent over APR! You don't get that every day!
Are you kidding?! With APR like that I could just die!
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I was in the Supreme frickin' Court here!
Yeah. Neither did I.
Should I have my lawyer present for my frickin' trial?!
Is it hot, girl-on-girl action?
It's so easy to use, and the surgery to implant it in the base of your skull is so painless, it's no wonder I'm #1!
CCarl
[appears on a monitor] Hello there, Internet Cyberville. Hey, if your watching this right now, I'm running outta oxygen and I seriously need to get to my bathroom, WHICH IS CURRENTLY BEING BLOCKED BY SOME STUPID ASS HIT-THE-MONKEY THING! [pop-up falls on Carl's fingers cutting them] Oh god!
Hey listen, could you get me some chicks that don't have the ZZ Top Lumberjack look? If I wanted to date Sasquatch, I'd call your mother. Ha-ha!
But the skull implant comes in this decorative tin.
Decorate this! [uses eye lasers to blow up pop-up ad for the tin]
Okay, okay, okay, okay! Fine! Fine. Don't use our service. Get left in the digital dust! But remember, you could have won a Porsche. Choose your path through Cyberland.
And after this 90-day trial, you will be judged and sentenced to a lifetime of interactive sports, news, and information. And we will continue to draw from your account. Because banks don't care. It's not their money.
I'm tired of livin' in this tree, now. How long 'til we gonna go home?
Two more weeks.
TWO MORE WEEKS?!
Shut up and eat your squirrel meat!
Squirrel meat, bleh.
[Pop-up ads begin to appear as the Www.yzzerdd cackles in the background]
What? I got wireless. Wha---?!? [An ad hits Shake]
S1PDA
Someone stole my PDA, and I will ruin this house with my anger!
Look Shake, people usually get a PDA when they have a job, and friends, and a life!
Look, you, you, you happen to have no idea what I do for a living do you?
You're damn right I don't! I saw you boil a hot dog today. Did you get paid for that?!
Because I don't have access to my scheduling book, because my PDA's gone!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.