[as a young little squirrel] Sure, you may turn away from me now, but as long as I keep drinking my buttermilk, [drinks the buttermilk as she ages each time she takes a sip] I can count on growing up with a serious lactose intolerance. [burp] And even though I won't be able to digest the stuff, I'm gonna keep drinkin' my buttermilk. 'Cause it'll always remind me of you and the way you snubbed me when I was young and innocent. In fact, in later years, I'll become downright obsessed with that memory. Yeah, I'll spend years trackin' you down. And when I find ya, I'll give you exactly what you deserve, you no-good, heartless, half-witted yutz! [gets out a bomb and it blows up at a guy, laughs]
AAnnouncer
Buttermilk, it makes a body bitter.
Ah. What do you know? [throws another bomb at the camera and it blows up]
AAnnouncer
[first lines] And now, Animator's Alley. Your hosts: The Warner Brothers.
Today, our guest is Cappy "Cap" Barnhouse, a pioneer in animation. Welcome, Cappy.
It's a pleasure to join ya.
Why? Were we coming apart?
Never mind. Cappy, you were with the Warner Bros. studio from the very beginning, right?
Yeah, I started with Warners back when all we made were pies. We just started making cartoons when people weren't buying the pies. Now, let's see. Now, that was back in 19...oh, I don't know. But it was back when we made pies. [Yakko wakes up] One day, the head guy, his name was Leon something-or-other, he says to me, he says, "Cappy, today I don't want you to make a pie. I want you to make a cartoon." [Yakko snores, Dot yawns, all Warners bored] Well, Rudy Ising and Hugh Harman and Friz and me and some other guy with a lisp was brought onboard. [the Warners all snore] And then we made our first cartoon, which was, uh...uh, Bosko and Honey. Oh, we made a few of those and... [mumbles, then snores, followed by the Warners] Pies! [the Warners wake up] We made pies. Uh, the cartoons came later.
And speaking of cartoons, let's get this show on the road.
AAnnouncer
We now return to Animator's Alley.
So, uh, then, in '43 we made Winky, the Finicky Tapeworm. He lived inside a British buffalo, Sir Poopsalot. Then we made a bunch of fish cartoons. Fish are funny creatures. [Wakko makes gookie face, Dot gasps] Cappy: We did Timmy Tuna...
...Barney Bass, and Frieda the Overly Friendly Fluke. [Wakko and Dot spray each other with water] But the fish lip is the hardest to draw. [Yakko whispers to Dot] I've seen people scream when they see a poorly-drawn fish lip. [Dot whispers to Wakko] 'Cause they think it's a monster. But it's just a fish lip. [the Warners run away, get TV] Lips are important. You can't talk without lips. Well, you could, but you'd sound like: [babbles]
AAnnouncer
We now return to Animator's Alley.
In 1954, I got a bunion. So I figures, what if a bunion could talk? [the Warners literally melt. Bubbles come up] That's when I come up with Bunion Boy. [the Warners crawl away] Bunion Boy lived on a farmer's toe. Uh, I think that was a mistake. Farmers step in things that aren't decent. Then in '57, I made Kiki the Sickly Lemur. [the Warners get models of themself and replace themselves, which automatically nods] Would you like me to talk about it? Well, all right. Kiki had no torso.
[running off] We're free! Free! Free!
[Last lines; we see the Warner Bros. Water Tower]
[offscreen] Night, Wakko.
[offscreen] Good night, Dot.
[offscreen] Good night, Yakko.
[offscreen] Hey, I wonder what happened to Cappy.
[Back at the studio, Cappy's snoring. Yakko's model's head falls off]
[wakes up] Pies! We made pies. [snoring]
AAnnouncer
And now, the Warners present: the senses.
[The Warners dance as the song plays]
The sense of sight is what guides us right when we go out on walks.
The sense of smell is the way to tell that you need to change your socks.
The sense of touch is what hurts so much when you bang your toe on the bed.
The sense of hearing is something good, 'cause if a tree falls in the wood, would there be a sound? You bet there would, if it landed on top your head!
Your head! If a tree lands on top of your head!
The sense of taste affects your waist.
Which makes five senses in all.
There's a sixth sense, too, but it's hard to explain. It's a psychic connection inside of your brain so you can understand people like Shirley MacLaine.
Who wear crystals they bought in the mall!
The mall! Who wear crystals they bought in the mall!
And now, the other senses!
There are scents you can smell like cologne from Chanel or the scents of expensive perfume.
There are scents of flowers we hope overpowers the kitty box next to your room.
There's a sense of pride you have deep down inside.
When you practice a sense of fair play.
There are dollars and cents that you pay at a toll.
Or the census man who is taking a poll.
And a sense of confusion we're out of control.
And they really should take us away! Away! They really should take us away!
There's a sense of humor, a sense of doom, or a sense of awe, sense of timing.
The sense of a word, a sense of absurd like trying to do all this rhyming!
And common sense, it's true.
Sense of wonder, sense of beauty.
Sense of honor, sense of duty.
A sense of doubt, a sense of danger.
A sense of fear when you meet a stranger.
A sense of style, a sense of worth.
A sense of direction for knowing the earth.
A sense of dread as we're singing this song that it's starting to turn out completely all wrong and it's time that we end it because it's too long! [deep breath] 'Cause it just doesn't make any sense! Nonsense! This song doesn't make any sense!
'Who can turn the stove on with her smile?
Who can take a bubble bath, and suddenly fill it with crocodiles?
'Cause it's you, Dot! And you should know it!
Put nitro on a bridge go ahead and blow it!
Mud is all around, I guess it's spring.
Name another crooner other than Bing.
Don't throw your hat up in the air!
'Cause what might come down is a Frigidaire! Dot!
QEQueen Elizabeth II
Put some elbow into it! We must have this room ready for the banquet tonight! Chop-chop!
[The painters revealed to be the Queen's royal family. Prince Charles and Princess Diana bumped into each other while painting, and give each other raspberries]
PEPrince Edward
Really Mummy, why do we have to redecorate the banquet room?
QEQueen Elizabeth II
Because we used up the rest of the budget on the rest of the castle. Now back to work!
PAPrincess Anne
I'll never be queen!
PAPrince Andrew
[holding his paintbrush backwards] My paintbrush doesn't work!
QMQueen Mum
I don't want to do this poop anymore! I want some tea!
[They kept complaining all at once]
QEQueen Elizabeth II
SILENCE! [they stop] All day long! Whine, whine, whine! What kind of a family have we raised?! Just look at you! Well, if you don't want to help, then lead. [the royal family smiled and run off in full speed, trampling the Queen, who stands up] Hmph! We'll just have to do it ourselves. [begins to paint, but stops] We'll never have time finish the banquet!
QEQueen Elizabeth II
Now, we would like you to begin work immediately.
[The Warners look around]
QEQueen Elizabeth II
We would. Us. Ourselves.
[jumping up on Queen Elizabeth and looks down her throat] How many people you got in there? Hello?! HELLO?!
QEQueen Elizabeth II
Get away from us!
She needs therapy. [plants the queen on a therapy couch] Alright Sybil, whom I'm speaking to now?
QEQueen Elizabeth II
We insist that you stop this! You people are crazy!
[The Warners flap their mouths with their fingers as they make sounds]
QEQueen Elizabeth II
We are not amused.
[The Warners laugh uncontrollably]
[pretending to be a psychologist] Yes, tell me all about Petey.
MSMiles Standish
Oh Petey, how I didist love that hamster so, I tooketh him to bed with me every night you know.
[to the viewers] Goodnight, everybody!
