Wesley Wyndam-Pryce quotes from Angel

Gunn

I've got a plan.

Wesley

Oh thank god! What is it?

Gunn

We die horribly and painfully. You go to hell, and I spend eternity in the arms of Baby Jesus.

Gunn

Those men you sent to create a diversion are going to get killed.

Wesley

Yes, they are. [pause] You try not to get anybody killed, you wind up getting everybody killed.

Cordelia

[to Groosalug] You're in charge now. And you've got a long road ahead. Slavery has ended, but reconstruction has just begun.

What is this "reconstruction?"

Cordelia

Gunn, you wanna field this?

Gunn

It means, saying people are free, don't make em free. You've got races that hate each other. You got some folks getting work they don't want, others losing the little they had. You're looking at social confusion, economic depression and probably some riots. Good luck.

Cordelia

You'll do fine.

It worries me...but not as much as- do you have to go, Majesty?

Cordelia

I don't want to. I'm really gonna miss your eyes, and the "Majesty" thing. But I have a job to do back home. It was really fun being your princess. [kisses him]

[bowing as Cordelia walks by] Your Majesty.

Wesley

Should people be bowing in a free society?

Cordelia

These things take time.

Wesley

I realize we sacrifice a great deal of our social lives, but we have to. Work demands it.

Gunn

True. I mean who's got time for love when you're out there, doin' it with the demons. (with regretful look) Didn't that come out sad and wrong.

Gunn

Hmm, Angel and a bunch of monks in the middle of nowhere. There's a party. He should have got hammered and gone to Vegas like I told him.

Wesley

He doesn't need a lap dance, he needs some peace and quiet to work through this.

Cordelia

How's Fred?

Angel

She's alright, considering. We talked over what happened, and I think she'll becoming out of her room any decade now.

Cordelia

[chuckles] And how are you?

Angel

I'm o--

Cordelia

And don't say "okay." Angel, please, I know you. Never since you've came back from your grief trip I can tell that something's not right. And-and obviously, it's not. Buffy's dead, and I don't mean to diminish that. I miss her too. I just wanna say, I know that James with all his Romeo and Juliet madness, opened up a lot of wounds for you, but you'll be okay.

Angel

I'm okay.

Cordelia

Then, what's the problem?

Angel

That I'm okay. That losing Buffy didn't kill me, that I could deal with it. In all those years, no one ever mattered. Not like she did. And now she's gone... forever.

Cordelia

And you'll still here.

Angel

Yeah. I just feels like I'm betraying her somehow.

Cordelia

No. If you were a loser, if you were some sick obsessed vampire, that you'd go to a Snod demon, or whatever and get your heart cut out. But you're not. You're a living, breathing... well, living anyway, good guy, whose still fighting and trying to help people, and that's not betraying her, that's honoring her.

Angel

You think?

Cordelia

I'm Cordelia. I don't think. I know, okay?

Angel

Okay.

Angel

Yeah, sure. There's work?

Wesley

What do you know about Nester demons?

Angel

Well, they-they like to live in the walls of people's homes. They hatch several times a year, and don't you have to kill their queen or something?

Gunn

Yeah. And if you don't, they infest again, worse than ever.

Cordelia

We killed a bunch of them in Hancock Park a couple of months ago.

Wesley

I don't think we got the queen.

Angel

Well, let's go find out.

Gunn

Five herb shops in Chinatown; we've been to four. How come whatever we're searching for is always in the last place we look?

Wesley

I suppose it's one of the unwritten laws of being a dick. Uh, um, sleuth, a gumshoe, Sherlock.

Gunn

All I know is you use the word dick again, and we're gonna have a problem. So what's the name of this place anyway?

Wesley

Van Hoa Dong.

Wesley

The Host reads people's auras to set them on their path, in some shape or form that connects them to the Powers that Be. I'm thinking...

Angel

Sure, he might be able to reverse the process. That he might be able to use Cordelia in order to 'trace the call' back to the Powers.

Lorne

WAY outside my area of expertise, I should caution. But hey, who knew William Shatner could sing? (He laughs, glances at a horribly disfigured Cordelia, and awkwardly stops) Okay. Bad example.

Wesley

(about Angel making out with someone on his desk) This isn't like him.

Cordelia

What? This is totally like him. Doing the mystery dance with some cheap blonde?

Brunette. She was a cheap brunette.

Cordelia

You're right. This isn't like him.

Cordelia

Lemme break it down for you, Fred.

Oh, Angel, I know that I am a Slayer, and you're a vampire and it would be impossible for us to be together, but--

But... my gypsy curse sometimes prevents me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy...

Yes, Angel?

I love you so much, I almost forgot to brood.

And just because I sent you to Hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.

Or possibly more?

Gasp! No! We mustn't!

Kiss me!

Bite me!

Angel

[entering] How 'bout you both bite me?

You're back!

Gunn

How'd it go?

Angel

I think those two pretty much summed it up.

Cordelia

(on Fred's invention) God, I really wish she wouldn't leave her toys laying around.

Gunn

Ooh, pretty wicked looking toy.

Wesley

I'll say. It almost looks like a spring-loaded decapitation device.

Cordelia

Or it makes toast. With her you never know.

Wesley

Speaking of saliva, where is Cordelia?

What do you mean 'speaking of saliva?' How does saliva make you...

Wesley

It's a simple question.. where is Cordelia?

Angel

[talking about Darla] Where is she?

Wesley

She got away.

Gunn

We tried to stop her by hitting her fists and feet with our faces.

Cordelia

Why are you looking at me like that?

Angel

Uh . . . no reason.

Cordelia

Okay. It's getting creepy now.

Angel

I was just thinking about things. People. You know, how they relate. Take you and me, for instance. We're very different. Very different. Obviously. [points at Cordy] Human, [points at self] vampire. [points at Cordy] Woman, [points at self] man... pire.

Cordelia

Has someone been putting vodka in your blood?

Angel

[chuckles] See? You're funny! And I, well I get off a good one every once in a while, but you...

Cordelia

Angel, are you trying to say you love me?

Angel

W-What?

Cordelia

I love you too.

Angel

You do? When did this...

Cordelia

[calling into Wesley's office] Angel loves me! I love him!

Angel

Oh, my God!

Cordelia

You guys love us and we love you!

[offscreen, in chorus] We love you, Angel!

Cordelia

They were all saying it earlier. Just in case this prophecy comes true and we all die. You're not gonna want a hug, are you?

Angel

[chastened] No.

Angel

What is it?

Wesley

It's - it's human.

Gunn

Human as is in humanoid? As in cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers?

Wesley

No - human as in - a boy.

Angel

Boy?

Wesley

A boy. A boy. You're carrying a boy.

Darla

Great.

Angel

Gonna have a son. I'm gonna have a son.

Guys. As fascinating as an ultra-sound image of an unborn child may appear...

Angel

Me. A father. To a son. You know what that means?

We're surrounded by vampires?

Angel

No, it's a human bo...

Angel

Oh. We are surrounded by vampires.