Wesley Wyndam-Pryce quotes from Angel

Guys, guys. Does it make sense that she would go there in the middle of the night, without calling either one of you?

WGWesley and Gunn

They owe us money.

Let's go.

S2 Epiphany

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Wesley

Well, I'm unaware of any red bird statuary in downtown Los Angeles, so unless you are I suggest.. [Harmony pops another bubble] *someone* put a *stake* through that woman's heart if she persists in popping her bloody chewing gum!

Harmony, do me a favor, lose the gum.

Harmony

Okay, okay! Sorry. I thought it would help with the cravings.

[Rips a page out of the book Wesley was looking at earlier and spits her gum into it.]

Harmony

I mean, you'd think I'd get a thank you for not biting any of you.

[Wesley snatches the crumpled page from her.]

Wesley

*What* are you doing!?! This book is twelve centuries old!

Harmony

Okay. So it's not like I messed up a new one.

S2 Disharmony

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Come on, Harm.

Wesley

Such a fitting nickname.

S2 Disharmony

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Wesley

Time and space. Those are the only solutions in a situation like this. And as long as we understand that, the healing process...

[Cordelia screams in the next room. She comes in holding clothes, ecstatically happy.]

Oh my God! These are gorgeous! You have the most amazing taste, like a gay man's taste and thats saying a lot. I love them so much! [hugs and kisses Angel] Thank you, thank you, you're the best. I have to go try these on. La la la! [Jumping with happiness] New clothes. I have new clothes.

[To an annoyed Wesley] I got her new clothes.

S2 Disharmony

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We're at a dead end.

Wesley

I thought we had more than that.

There's only one thing we can do now.

Oh, God. Oh no.

Wesley

The karaoke bar.

Angel's gonna sing?

Isn't there some other way?

Wesley

There has to be. Think, dammit!

Hey! Wha ...

S2 Dead End

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What is that? Rock? Country? Ballad? Pick a style, pal.

Wesley

Shh.

Angel cakes! Don't make me ask you to leave.

S2 Dead End

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Lindsey

Look, I need help.

I'll say. You might want to start with his singing. [Laughs.]

[Cordelia slaps the back of her hand against Angel's chest and steps up to Lindsey.]

Hi. You probably don't remember me. Cordelia. I know you're evil - and everything, but that was just so amazing.

That was kind of tight.

Wesley

Terrific, really.

Is everyone drunk?

S2 Dead End

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[Wesley and Angel just came back from fighting a Haklar.]

How was the big fight? All big and fighty?

Wesley

We managed to kill the Haklar just as it was about to devour a group of power walkers.

It was horrible.

I know. I saw it in my stupid vision, remember?

No, not the Haklar, the power walkers. I mean, walking I get, but power walking? Why not just run for a shorter time?

[Cordelia looks at Angel strangely.]

Weird. Plus, one of them hit him. (Points to Wesley, whose forehead is injured.)

(gasps) A power walker did that?

Wesley

Apparently, she felt I'd disrespected the Haklar's culture by killing it.

This town sucks.

S2 Belonging

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Just remember, keep your head down. Xenophobia, kind of a watchword where I'm from.

I don't get it. Why are they afraid of Xena? I mean, I think she's kinda fly.

Wesley

Xenophobia. Fear of foreigners.

Oh. Can we forget I just said that?

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Who do we know who has handcuffs?

Wesley

Well, I [pauses, as he was about to say, "do"] ..wouldn't know.

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How you holding up?

Oh, I want to go bad. I'm just waiting for Wes to have that Eureka moment.

Wesley

(from the other room) EUREKA!

Jeez. Oh, thank god.

You mean he actually really says Eureka?

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I don't wanna research, alright? I wanna jump through the big swirly hole thingy and save Cordelia!

Wesley

We might never be able to get back!

[quietly] It's Cordy.

[After a beat Wesley nods and steps back.]

Krv Drpglr pwlz...

Oh, crap.

...chkwrt strplmt dwghzn prqlrzn lffrmtplzt.

[Nothing happens.]

Maybe I have to be standing where the portal opens.

[Lorne peeks over the bar than disappears again as Angel walks up on the stage and starts over.]

Krv Drpglr pwlz chkwrt strplmt dwghzn prqlrzn lffrmtplzt!

[Wesley sits down slowly as again nothing happens.]

What, is it - out of batteries? [Holds up the book and turns to face Lorne.] Is this thing out of batteries?!?

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Wesley

I suppose I could try a binding spell of some kind. Something to fuse us together as we enter the portal.

Good. Let's do that. Let's-

Wesley

However, we could emerge on the other side as a freakishly hybridized Siamese twin.

...Keep looking?

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Ha! I'm not on fire.

Wesley

And we're together. And we didn't merge into some freakish, four-man Siamese twin!

That was a risk?!? How come nobody told me that was a risk??

Can everyone just notice how much fire I'm not on?

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No problem here, walking in the sun. Hey, do it all the time.

Wesley

Yes, we're all heartily aware that you're not on fire.