Wesley Wyndam-Pryce quotes from Angel

Gunn

He said five minutes!

Cordelia

It's been six and a half.

Darla

It's so typical of him.

It probably wouldn't hurt to wait another minute, right? I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen in another minute? [Darla lets out a blood-curdling scream.] Ask a stupid question...

Wesley

Her water's broken. This is for real. There should be a blanket in the trunk.

Cordelia

What are we gonna do? Deliver the kid right here? Shouldn't we go somewhere?

What's keeping Angel?

Wesley

Now it's up to us to protect Angel's unborn child. Darla, we're trying to take you out of here. Relax. The trick is to breathe. Like this.

Wesley

Heh, heh, heh, hoh, hoh, hoh, heh, heh, heh...

Darla

I... Don't...

Darla

Breathe!

Angel

What's going on?

Wesley

We're being attacked.

Angel

Attacked? I thought you had double protection sanctorium spells?

Lorne

I do, and they work. It's a thing with the door and the stairs and the world and a thing. Never mind!

Gunn

Apparently you can be outside and chuck stuff in.

Lorne

I just said that.

Gunn

(preparing for the assault) What are you doing?

Wesley

Trying to imagine myself as John Wayne in Rio Bravo. You?

Gunn

Austin Stoker. Assault on Precinct 13. (they high five)

Cordelia

If we live through this, trade in the DVD players and get a life.

I'm happy to report you have a healthy baby boy.

Cordelia

Oh, great. But I'm not the mother.

Oh, I'm sorry. (turns to Fred) I'm happy to report you have a healthy baby boy.

Oh. Me neither.

Wesley

I'm afraid the mother is, ah, no longer in the picture.

I see. Well, his height and weight are in the ninetieth percentile. We gave him his vitamin K and his PKU and he's doing very well. We don't seem to have his - what's his name?

Angel

(arriving) Connor. His name is Connor.

Connor. Thank you. Mr. (looks at the papers) Angel. And congratulations.

Angel

Thanks.

Wesley

Connor. That's a lovely name. I don't suppose you ever considered Wesley?

No.

Wesley

[watching Fred with Connor] Adorable.

Gunn

So sweet.

Wesley

I meant the baby.

Gunn

I meant the hot mama.

Wesley

[about his web articles on DNA Fusion Comparisons and Tri-ped Demon Populations] It's an exciting arena.

Lorne

But one I'm sure we can all download at: I'll-never-know-the-love-of-a-woman-dot-com. Can we get down to business?

Wesley

Why can't you have sex?

Cordelia

Because I could lose my virginity.

Wesley

If you want to play it that way..

Cordelia

VISIONity. The visions. In Pylea the visions were supposed to pass on to Groo if we ever did the royal "com-shuk". How do I know that won't happen here?

Angel

Good point. You really don't.

Wesley

But your recent transformation could have changed all that. It might be possible...

Angel

Still, you know. Better safe than sorry. You're doing the right thing.

Cordelia

I know. I know. I can't risk it. It's just.. I'm so.. And he's such a.. Don't you think?

Cordelia

I mean there's got to be other things we could do to relieve the tension.

Angel

Jogging could be a thing.

Wesley

Or perhaps there's some form of paranormal prophylactic...

Angel

Cause you know, jogging...

Cordelia

I guess we could probably "com" without actually "shuk"ing.

Angel

Well, I don't know. That could be a slippery slope that.. Once you're on that.. That you could.. Slide..

Wesley

When you knew it was more than just a tryst you should have told me.

Gunn

It happened so fast. The thing just grabbed the guy and he was gone.

Wesley

That's.. That's not what I meant.

Gunn

Oh. You mean.. Well. I'm not so sure that's any of your business.

Wesley

No, you're probably right. Still, she could get hurt. I trust that won't happen.

Gunn

What are you, her brother?

Wesley

Apparently..

Gunn

Wesley, I...

Wesley

She chose. It's just important to me that she's taken care of.

Angelus is in his nature. The beast will re-emerge, you've seen it, you know it and that is why you are here. You're afraid he is going to kill the child.. and you're right.

Wesley

Your infiltration was more succesful than I'd realised.

I don't need prophecies to tell me what he's playing. So long as the child remains with the demon, it's not safe.

Wesley

Well I must have misunderstood. Here I thought it was a simple blood vendetta when what you really want is to protect Angel's son.

You don't believe me?

Wesley

Hmmm, not sure really. It could be the low scary voice that's giving me trouble.

Wesley

I didn't sleep very well.

Angel

Yeah, and you look like hell. Not the fun one where they burn you with hot pokers for all eternity, but the hard core one. You know, Nixon and Britney Spears.

Angel

You ever hear of a time-traveling demon by the name of Sahjhan?

Wesley

No.

Angel

The guy that brought Holtz here. He thinks I'm his sworn enemy. I don't know him from Adam.

Wesley

Dante's Divine Comedy.

Lilah

Actually, it's just part one. The Inferno. It's not a first edition. More like the 1500s. But it is in the original Tuscan. Have you read it?

Wesley

Several times.

Lilah

Then you know it's a guided tour of the underworld. The nine levels of hell.

Wesley

Yes, descending, concentric rings based on the severity of the sin.

Lilah

You know, I always forget. At the very bottom of hell, in the ninth circle, the devil's frozen in ice, right? He's got three heads, three mouths, and these mouths are reserved for the worst sinners. I can't remember, who is in the center mouth? What was his name? The one person in all of human history who was deemed the greatest sinner. Who is it?

Wesley

Judas Iscariot.

Lilah

Right. The worst spot in hell is reserved for those who betray... So don't pretend you're too good to work for us.

Wesley

To family.

Angel

To family.

Lorne

As long as it's not mine.