Wasn't supposed to snow today. Wasn't even supposed to be cold.
So, you're perfectly okay believing that tiny people on television can predict the weather. But you crinkle with consternation at the mere suggestion that you could make it snow.
One of those things is science, okay? The other is fantasy.
You're talking about it like it's apples and oranges.
It's not apples and oranges, okay? It's reality and fantasy.
Oh, so that's how the world works! It's either real or it's fantasy?
Yeah, that's how the world works.
Yeah, says the man who hasn't seen it. Shadow, at best, you suffer from a failure of imagination. We're gonna have to fix that.
This is the only country in the world that wonders what it is.
You've been to a lot of other countries, have you?
No. No, never, just this one. Just that the others know what they are. I mean, no one wonders about the heart of Norway or goes searching for the soul of Mozambique. Mozambique knows what it is. They all know what they are.
Americans know who they are.
They pretend they know. But it's still just pretending, like I'm pretending now. Just like you.
You are pretending you cannot believe in impossible things.
Uh, I'd be genuinely deluded if I believed that shit.
If you are deluded, I believe it's genuine. You don't strike me as the disingenuous type. Okay, let's go.
Did you make snow? Well, if you choose to believe you made snow, then you get to live the rest of your life believing that you can do things that are impossible. Or you can believe it's a delusion.
No, see, delusions feel real, okay?
That's why it's a delusion.
None of this feels real. It feels like a dream.
What a beautiful, beautiful thing to be able to dream when you're not asleep. I've-- I've crossed enough paths to know that one in four people are rock stupid. Even the smart ones have got some kind of delusion they believe in, whether it's gods or ghosts. Do you believe in love?
Yeah, I believe the shit out of love.
So you didn't believe till you did, and then the world changed because you believed. Belief is only a product of the company we keep and how easily we scare. And you do not scare easily.
And my company is questionable.
Always has been. The only thing that scares me is being forgotten. I can survive most things but not that. Very best part of memory is it's mostly about forgetting. We remember what's important to us.
I don't think you're ever going to get your coin back. Never ever ever. Not ever.
Not not ever. Meat's going to slide off you sooner or later, dead wife. Sooner if you keep soaking it in hot water. All that connective tissue holding you together. Well, that's gonna liquefy. You'll find yourself on a hot, humid summer day just cooking in that moist heat. And you're going to fall right off the bone. When you do, I'm going to reach up under those ribs, and I'm going to pluck that coin out of you like a berry.
[Mad Sweeney tackles Laura into the bathtub and tries to drown her. The police then bust in]
PPolice
Freeze! Hands up!
She ain't dead! She ain't dead. See? [Laura lays motionless at the bottom of the tub] Oh, you're an asshole. [as the police handcuff him] You're a fucking asshole, dead wife!! You're a fucking asshole, dead wife!!! You're an asshole, dead wife!!!
[Laura smiles at the bottom of the tub]
[Media as Marilyn Monroe floats into the room]
I Love Lucy? How the fuck are you floating!!?
Happy Birthday Mr. President.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You you you're TV. You you you were black and white.
I'm as colorful as the story I'm telling. This one's filmed in glorious Technicolor. Full-color pinup to film legend to murdered. Oh, don't believe what they say about an accidental overdose. Last thing I saw from the floor of my Brentwood bungalow was a CIA spook jabbing a needle into my eyeball, lest I tell Kennedy tales unwanted. Isn't that delicious?!
Wouldn't you like an upgrade? A brand new, lemon-scented you?
Oh I'm a fine me. I just keep getting better every year.
Of course you are, and that is the you that deserves to be seen incorporated. Everyone in the world gets their place.
That's why they call me Mr. World.
I get it. I do. [chuckling] You're an individualist. Rugged individualism. It simply doesn't work anymore. Brands. Sure. A useful heuristic. But ultimately, everything is all systems interlaced, a single product manufactured by a single company for a single global market. Spicy, medium, or chunky. They get a choice, of course. Of course! But they are buying salsa.
An oyster. Inside every pearl there's a single irritating grain of sand. That's me. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here. Just like an oyster, you're trying to cover me up with something smooth and shiny. Pretty on a necklace, but inside the shell, that slimy thing just wants that scratchy thing out of there. You say merger? I hear exile.
It's not our fault they found other ways to occupy their time.
That's all you do, occupy their time. We gave back. We gave them meaning.
Then give it to them again.
I've done the math. This times that equals you're a cunt, divided by the only way I'm going to get what I need is if you give it to me, equals the only way you're going to give it to me is if you don't need it. Like my friend Jesus Christ, the only thing you need, dead wife, is resurrection.
Did you just name drop Jesus Christ like you know a guy who knows a guy?
Your heart's not beating for this life anymore dead wife. This life is done.
Only felt my heart beat one time since I died. When I kissed Shadow.
That doesn't obligate him to feel shit. You're so worried about being alive, but to him you're already dead. Wait, you kissed him?
Yeah I just said I kissed him.
Put your tongue in his mouth?
Did it taste like cigarettes and vomit?
I have been smoking. ...Perhaps I misjudged the kiss. Probably should've had some gum or a mint.
Yeah or a fucking tic-tac! If your man had any doubts about whether his wife was dead or not, that ended em. Death do us part. Take the fucking hint!
He's gone! Your man came, he saw ya, tasted death on your tongue and he left. He ain't your man anymore. He's Wednesday's man. I saw him give it over. Right over there, right at that table over there. That's where he took his last glass of evil, vile fucking mead and made his bargain with the devil himself. Your piece of shit husband got a new life. Why don't you? This one got a new life. [motioning to Salim] He ain't looking back.
SSalim
I did. And I'm not.
ICIce Cream Truck Man
Can I help you with something, ma'am?
Yes! I've always wanted to steal a car. So I'm going to steal yours.
ICIce Cream Truck Man
Uhh...well it's not mine, it's my boss'.
Okay well then I'm stealing his. [grabs a bunch of cash out of Mad Sweeney's pocket and hands it to him] I don't know how much is here but you take that, you tell your boss that you were robbed, which you have been.
ICIce Cream Truck Man
My boss is never gonna believe me if I look like this.
Oh you look fine. You look great!
No he means without evidence of a tussle. He wants me to punch him.
ICIce Cream Truck Man
Whoa. You could kill me. Can she do it?
Trust me. You don't want this one hitting ya. [punches him]
