Best thing, only good thing about being in prison, is the relief. You don't worry if they're going to get you when they already got you. Tomorrow can't do anything today hasn't already managed.
LKLow Key
Even better with a death sentence. Bang. Worst has already happened. You get a few days to let it sink in, and then you're riding the cart on the way to do your dance on nothing. This country went to hell when they stopped hanging folks. No gallows dirt, no gallows deals.
LKLow Key
Yeah. Funniest fucking shit in the world. Ha ha!
You know, I'm not superstitious. I believe in plenty when there's reason and evidence to believe. I don't believe in anything I can't see. I feel like there's a fucking axe hanging over my head. You know, I can't see it, but I believe it.
LKLow Key
I can see it fine. Prison has a way of trying to keep you in prison. They'll do anything they can to keep you inside with them.
Hello, Shadow. Don't fuck with me.
Okay. I won't. Uh, but if you could just drop me off at the Motel America-
[one of the faceless toadies punches Shadow]
See, I said don't fuck with me. Now that, that was fucking with me. Keep your answers short and to the point, or I will fucking kill you. Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll just have the children break every bone in your fucking body. So don't. Fuck. With. Me.
You're working for Wednesday.
No, thank you. [coughing] Well, it's not tobacco, and it ain't weed. Smells like an appliance fire.
Synthetic Toad Skins. What the fuck is Wednesday after? What's he doing here? There's got to be a plan. What's the game plan, man?
I started working for Mr. Wednesday this morning.
How auspicious. You must be special.
No, I'm just an errand boy.
Is that all? [coughing] Wednesday is history. Forgotten and old. He should just let it happen. We are the future, and we don't give a fuck about him or anyone else like him anymore. They are consigned to the dumpster. Now we have reprogrammed reality. Language is a virus. Religion, an operating system, and prayers are just so much fucking spam.
Okay, w-well, y-you're saying all this like I'm supposed to know what the fuck you're talking about.
You want help? Fine. Let me tell you a story. "Once upon a time, a man got fucked." Now, how is that for a story? 'Cause that's the story of black people in America! [chuckles] Shit, you all don't know you black yet. You think you just people. Let me be the first to tell you that you are all black. The moment these Dutch motherfuckers set foot here and decided they white, and you get to be black, and that's the nice name they call you. Let me paint a picture of what's waiting for you on the shore. You arrive in America, land of opportunity, milk and honey, and guess what? You all get to be slaves! Split up, sold off and worked to death! The lucky ones get Sunday off to sleep and fuck and make more slaves, and all for what? For cotton? Indigo? For a fucking purple shirt? The only good news is the tobacco your grandkids are gonna farm for free is gonna give a shitload of these white motherfuckers cancer. And I ain't even started yet. A hundred years later, you're fucked! A hundred years after that, fucked! A hundred years after you get free, you still getting fucked outta jobs and shot at by police! You see what I'm saying? This guy gets it. I like him. He's gettin' angry. Angry is good. Angry gets shit done. You shed tears and call for Anansi, and here he is, telling you: you are staring down the barrel of 300 years of subjugation, racist bullshit and heart disease. He is telling you there isn't one goddamn reason you shouldn't go up there right now, and slit the throats of every last one of these Dutch motherfuckers, and set fire to this ship!
MMan
But the ship will burn. All of us will die.
[chuckles] You already dead, asshole. At least die a sacrifice for something worthwhile. Let the motherfucker burn! Let it all burn!
Too many people tell each other not to repress their emotions, to release their feelings, to let the pain go. There's a lot to be said for bottling up emotions. [pause] I'm gonna tell you something and you're gonna want to hurt me, but what I say has gotta be said. So I want you to consider my words very carefully and refrain from knocking my teeth out.
Word on the street is your wife died sucking your best friend's cock. And you, sir, are only obligated to feel bad about that for so long.
Thank you...for warning me.
[as Lucy Ricardo] Look at me, Shadow, all in Hi-def. We shot the show in 35mm, cutting edge. Looks like hell in the transfer. Funny how things supposed to make you look good only make it worse. I can't even fill the whole screen.
I'm talking to Lucille Ball...
Lucy Ricardo. I'm all sorts, Shadow. The screen is the altar. I'm the one they sacrifice to. Then till now. Golden Age to Golden Age. They sit side by side, ignore each other, and give it up to me. Now they hold a smaller screen on their lap or in the palm of their hand so they don't get bored watching the big one. Time and attention, better than lamb's blood. Huh. They beat your pretty face all up. I hate that. I hate that they were hurting you, Shadow. I would never do that to you, honey. No, I want to offer you a job.
Working for me. I want you in my camp with us. Look at it like this, Shadow; We're the coming thing. We are already here. We are self-driving cars and 3D printers and subdermal time-release insulin. And your old boss is still selling oranges on the side of the road. Not even organic. We are now and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. And he ain't even yesterday anymore. I heard about the trouble you had with the Technical Boy. I was impressed with how you dealt with him. Efficient, no-nonsense, effective. Who'd have thought you had it in you? He was underestimating you, sweetheart. They all are. Not a mistake I'll make.
Yeah well I don't wanna work for you...I Love Lucy...We're done.
Whatever the old guys are giving you, I can give you so much more. You name it, honey. What do you need? Hey, you ever wanted to see Lucy's tits?
I think I'm losing my mind.
Well, when will you know for sure?
I've heard of guys losing it when they get out.
Are you trying to wiggle your way out of this job?
Lucy...I-Love-Lucy talked to me.
Oh, the television program?
No, Lucy herself came-- This is so fucking crazy.
And like the rest of your life is sane?
Lucy talking to me from the TV is weirder by several orders of magnitude than anything that's ever happened to me.
So far. Oh, at times the universe does seem to have singled you out for unique abuse. In these moments, you gotta ask yourself: Would I rather be ignored?
Okay, yes, ignore me. Always better dead than forgotten. And no one is ever gonna forget you. Now, flattering as that may be, this, on top of your other adventures-- Hmm.
Fair cause for consternation, unless strange is a new language and what we're doing here is vocabulary building.
Okay. This is gibberish. Seems you have a choice. You may have to consider that you didn't see what you saw.
Or you did. The world is either crazy or you are. They're both solid options. Take your pick, and when you decide, come and tell me. But don't rush into it. Take your time. Difficult decision.
They threatened to reprogram reality. I mean, is-- Is that what this is? Are they just fucking with my head? Are you fucking with my head?
There are bigger sacrifices one might be asked to make than going a little mad.
CCzernobog
[chuckling] I think in the old country, you know, I am forgotten. Here, I'm like a bad memory. So, I had to find work, and I found meat business. You know it?
CCzernobog
I know the killing. [chuckling] So I got job on killing floor as a knocker. It was a good job. Yeah, skilled labor. A cow comes up the ramp. Boom, boom, boom. And you take a sledge hammer, and--Boop! You knock the cow dead. It takes strength.
ZVZorya Vechernyaya
No cow-killing stories during dinner!
CCzernobog
How do you think meat get on your plate?! Huh? [chuckles] It takes strength, but not only strength. It takes talent, because it's a craft. You have to do it right, or the cow gets angry. And angry meat taste bad. Yeah, you need arms to break the skull, but that's not the goal. The goal is to crush the brain inside the skull, and quick, before the pain can travel from outside the brain to the inside, so the brain never knows the brain is crushing. To give a good death is art. But nowadays, they have this bolt gun. You know? Put it on the forehead [imitates gun firing] Yeah. Now every monkey with a thumb can kill. [laughs] They sit there all day and all night. [imitates gun firing] So much for killing.
ZPZorya Polunochnaya
Careful! The buffalo is waning tonight.
You're Zorya Poluch...Pulch...The sister that was sleeping.
ZPZorya Polunochnaya
I am Zorya Polunochnaya, yes. And you are called Shadow.
What are you looking at up there?
ZPZorya Polunochnaya
I was looking at that. See?
[Shadow looks through the telescope]
ZPZorya Polunochnaya
Odin's Wain, they call it. And the Great Bear. It is a thing. It's not a god. Like a god. It's a bad thing. Chained up in those stars. If it escapes, it will eat the whole of everything. So we watch the sky all day, all night, the three sisters. If he escapes, the thing in the stars, the world is over [snaps fingers] Like that.
ZPZorya Polunochnaya
A long time ago.
[noticing her nightgown] You're not cold?
ZPZorya Polunochnaya
Cold doesn't bother me. This time is my time. My sisters, they're of their times. When is your time? Your birthday?
No, I-I don't want my fortune told.
ZPZorya Polunochnaya
My fortunes are the best. [she takes Shadow's hand] Virgins have the advantage. And now we have something. Oh. No. You have nothing. You believe in nothing so you have nothing. You are on a path...from nothing to everything. You had something recently. You lost it.
ZPZorya Polunochnaya
Not your wife...Did you sell your head to Czernobog?
ZPZorya Polunochnaya
You keep giving away your life. You don't much care if you live or die do you?
The world's not what I thought it would be.
ZPZorya Polunochnaya
You'd rather die then live in a world with bears in the sky. I can help you. First, you must do something for me.
What is it? Gotta fight you? Play checkers?
ZPZorya Polunochnaya
You have to kiss me. I have not ever been kissed. I don't know if I like it. We do this now.
[she kisses Shadow on the lips]
ZPZorya Polunochnaya
...Kissing is disgusting, but in a nice way like blu cheese or brandy. Take the moon.
ZPZorya Polunochnaya
Just take it. Here.
[she plucks the moon out of the night sky and gives it to Shadow as a silver dollar]
ZPZorya Polunochnaya
Don't lose this. Don't give it away. You've been given protection once. You had the sun itself. I can give you the moon. It's the daughter, not the father. Now you wake up.
That woman thinks Jesus suffered for her sins. They're her sins, why should Jesus do all the suffering?
Cause his dad sacrificed his ass.
Don't blame the parent. Plenty of suffering and blame to go around. Although that White Jesus could stand a little more suffering. He's doing very well for himself these days.
And how many colors does Jesus come in?
Well you got your white, Jesuit-style Jesus, you got your black African Jesus, you got your brown Mexican Jesus, you got your swarthy Greek Jesus.
That's a...That's a lot of Jesus.
There's a lot of need for Jesus, so there are a lot of Jesus.
