There's a very old expression in China, It really doesn't matter what I say here, because none of you speak Chinese. But you can see from my sad face I'm sympathetic. You hear from my tone it's appropriate to feel sorry for me. As I drop to a faint whisper, you'll feel the sorrow yourself. I'm going to finish now, pretend to cry.
S2 E16Sex, Lies and Politics
S2 E17Civil War
You and I are friends, albeit we typically zig and zag in different directions. I'm concerned that uh this trial, well...
What?
I'm worried about the fallout. Like you said, Harry Wah's an enormous client, and uh how do I put this?
Just say it, John.
I'm better than you. I fear that this trial will cost us not only a major client but could uh jeopardize our friendship.
Because you're better than me.
Yes.
And you think you'll beat me.
Yes.
Let me tell you something, John. You can't possibly overestimate how much you underestimate me. And if you're under the impression that you'll overwhelm me with your little stunts, understand this; I'll be all over you the minute you try. I'm not your underling in there. You have nothing over me, and under the heading of...
Richard, there are just far too many over and under's going on here. My point is this; no one beats me in court. You won't beat me in court.
S2 E21The Green Monster
JSJudge Seymore Walsh
Members of the jury, you have a verdict?
FForeman
We have.
JSJudge Seymore Walsh
What say you?
FForeman
In Mannix versus Mannix... we find in favor of the plaintiff, and order the defendant, Bonnie Mannix to pay damages in the amount of 35 cents.
S3 E6Changes
John, if you don't like who you are, if you're truly unhappy with your life, it only means you're ready to have children.
Remnants in toilet bowls actually traumatize me.
S3 E7Saving Santa
I'm asking. Are you OK?
[Metaphorically referring to soon-to-be ex-husband, Billy] Fine! I just went on this new diet. I lost 170 pounds of dead weight. I feel great!
Are you sure?
You can have him, Ally.
I don't want him.
[Flirting with Santa Claus actor] I had a dream last night that Santa kept coming down my chimney. Over and over and over again.
S3 E9Out in the Cold
Richard Fish: You could have at least TRIED to be sympathetic.
Ling Woo: I was under oath!
Richard Fish: Garlic...
Ling Woo: If this thing comes down to whether or not that Judge likes me, Richard, then I lose. He hates me. [John leans on Richard and takes off his shoes]
Ling Woo: What is the funny little man doing now?
John "The Biscuit" Cage: I have to prepare my final statement, you ungrateful little PIMP. [Ling gasps]
Richard Fish: Your Honor, if I may...
Judge Seymour Walsh: Oh, Dear God!
Richard Fish: Almost EVERY woman is BOUGHT. It's good that these kids learn that at a young age.
Judge Seymour Walsh: Mr. Fish -
Richard Fish: Tell me women don't become interested in men because of the size of their wallets. We see beautiful young girls walking around with 80-year-old men on WELFARE all the time, don't we? People in this country are seduced by success! Fancy car, big house, beautiful woman. It's the American Way.
S3 E10Just Friends
JCJohn "The Biscuit" Cage
[To Richard Fish] You know, it's just that simple with you, isn't it? Sex sex, sex sex sex! It's waddle with Whipper versus knee pit with Ling. Boy, you put the Fish in "superficial", dammit.
She said that?
JCJohn "The Biscuit" Cage
Yes!
Well, so, she had a dream. That doesn't...
JCJohn "The Biscuit" Cage
No, it's not the dream! She was suggesting that she and I explore being a couple. And Richard, I have to admit I've always harbored feelings for Ally.
Oh, gee, there's a flash. Look, John, there ARE ethical considerations here. The only question you have to ask yourself is: Can you sleep with Ally without Nell finding out?
S3 E13Pursuit of Loneliness
You own a store?
HJHon. Justice Hammond Dearing
And three others.
S3 E16Boy Next Door
BABilly Alan Thomas
What I'm trying to say: Love is the only thing that counts. I've loved her since I was 8 years old. We've never been apart, not a single day. And I will love her for all my days. And that's all that counts. It's all that will ever count. All my heart forever. I... uh need to... rest. [Proceeds tp sit down on floor, then collapses]
BABilly Alan Thomas
[During his summation] Last month, two people who never met got married on national television. [Walks over to defense table quietly talks to Ally] Did I imagine that or did that really happen?
Ally McBeal: That really happened.
Could I... uh could I have your attention please. About 40 minutes ago, um Billy Thomas passed away. [Pause, stunned silence in the office] Uh, he went quiet - - quietly and peaceful. [Walks away]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Ally McBeal pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.