"Everyone, I have a little surprise for you all! Kenan?"
[Thompson enters, carrying the Big Ear of Corn, who was feared to be terminally ill. The other cast members, especially Denberg, are delighted.]
SServer
"It's the Big Ear of Corn!"
BBates
"So, what was wrong with the Corn?"
TThompson
"Nothin'; it turns out that the Big Ear of Corn wasn't even sick at all! Katrina?"
[Johnson enters, pushing a perambulator containing the Big Ear of Corn's four new offspring, each of whom is still at least twice the size of a large standard ear of corn.]
JSJosh Server
Guys...guys...listen up. Has anybody met Amanda yet?
KTKenan Thompson
You mean Amanda, our new cast member?
JSJosh Server
I'm afraid so.
Wait second; what's wrong with Amanda?
Well, let's just say, she's way too happy and perky.
Oh, I hate happy and perky.
AAmanda
Hi-hi, everyone, it's me, Amanda!
KOKenan [offscreen]
What's, what's up?
AAmanda
I just wanted to tell y'all how happy and perky I am to be joining the cast of All That. We're all gonna have such fun.
LBLori Beth [sarcastically]
Oh, I'm sure we are.
AAmanda
Okay, everybody; gather 'round.
KMKel Mitchell
Aw, c'mon, Goldilocks.
Uh, look, Amanda; nothing personal, but...we don't like to gather.
AAmanda
Oh, Lori Beth, you are so funny.
AAmanda
C'mon, you guys; I have something for all of you. Now, for the boys, I made you all a bunch of oatmeal and raisin cookies.
KFKenan [faking excitement]
Oh, cookies!
AAmanda
And for the girls, stuffed animals! Lori Beth, I got you a bear, and for Alisa, a tiger. And for Katrina, a pretty pink bunny. Isn't he just too cute?
KJKatrina Johnson
Way...too cute.
Five minutes! Show starts in five minutes! Oh, I see you've all met our new cast member, Amanda. Isn't she all happy and perky? I just know she's gonna fit right in. Oh, a bunny!
KJKel, Josh, and Kenan [in unison]
Cookies.
What wonderful gifts. I enjoy gifts.
AAmanda
Oh, Kevin; you didn't think I'd forget you, did you?
KKenan
I can't take too much more of her.
KKel
Even her cookies are too sweet.
You just don't like her 'cause she's all sweet and kindly. You know, we could all learn a thing or two from Amanda; that's what I say.
ABAmanda [brings a black armchair with a red button on the right arm]
And this is for Kevin.
AAmanda
A very special chair for a very special stage manager...
Oh, it's so comfy. My rear feels all happy. You know, I do need to relax now and then, you know...what's this red button right here?
AAmanda
Gee, I don't know. Why don't you push it?
You did that on purpose, didn't you?
KKenan
Amanda? Just have one thing to say...welcome to the cast!
[to Kenan, after getting amnesia due to a concussion from a falling spotlight] "'Josh'. 'Josh'. Why does everyone keep calling me 'Josh'? My name is Lord Swainsboro of Fontcastle...you lout." "'Lout'? Who you callin' a 'lout'?"
KKenan
[to Katrina Johnson] "Hey, what's a lout?"
"I don't know. But he's Lord Swainsboro of Fontcastle."
"Well, ever since he got hit on the head, he thinks he's an English gentleman from the 18th century."
"Oh, c'mon; cut it out, Josh. This isn't funny."
"Gentlepeople! I must ask you to refrain from calling me by this...'Josh'. My name is Lord Swainsboro of Fontcastle."
"We gotta snap him outta this before the show starts."
"Yeah; he's in the first scene."
[to Katrina] "Ah, good lady, I beg your pardon. But the only appointment on my schedule today is for afternoon tea. I'm meeting Lord Worcestershire at 4 PM this very day."
KKenan
"Oh, he's been goin' off the deep end; see, somethin' wrong. Somethin' wrong."
KKenan
"'Manda!" [They fist-bump]
"Oh; what a delightful young cherub." [He kneels before Amanda]
AAmanda
"What's with him?"
KKenan
"He got hit in the head with a light. Now he thinks he's Lord Fruitcake of Freakspit."
All That · 665 quotes
