ArchieIn an energy crisis, there ain't no such thing as a nice man.
S4 Et Tu, Archie
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Played by Carroll O'Connor
All in the Family · 293 quotes
Most-quoted character in All in the Family: in 123 of its 293 quotes
Most scenes with: Mike (9), Edith Bunker (6), Gloria Stivic (3)
Lines by Archie Bunker 107
ArchieArchieBeing happy is part of being crazy.
ArchieMixed up. I bet I miss out on a lot of invitations this way
ArchieJefferson, that invitation you sent by your wife. I think that was very white of you. George: That's exactly the way I felt when I did it.
Archieyou
ArchieSo what do you think the chances are of me getting the one bad can out of all them millions of cans? What is it, 100 to 1.
Mike: What is that? The New Math?
ArchieThe bosses of that company ought to taste every mouthful of food before it leaves the factory.
Mike: How are you going to do that?
Archie: Haven't you ever heard of the olden days, the days of kings? The king used to have a special cook to taste the food. The cook dropped down dead, the king said, "See?" Then the king went into the kitchen and made a sandwich for himself.
ArchieOh, that energy crisis. I wish you'd come up with one of those hot flashes of yours when we need it.
ArchieLook at this: Rip Van Meathead.
ArchieDo you ever watch your husband dress himself in the morning?
Gloria: Sometimes.
Archie: Did you know that he puts on a sock and a shoe and a sock and a shoe, instead of a sock and a sock and a shoe and a shoe?
Gloria: What?
Archie: What's the sense in asking you? You wear pantyhose.
ArchieThe country's got to produce more goods. Then we've got to have a little more unemployment. So when we have more goods to buy, and less people who can afford to buy the goods, then the prices will come down.
Mike: That is the stupidest damn thing you've ever said.
ArchieRespect is for the dead. The living need dough.
ArchieWhen a guy asks a girl to get married, that's the highest compliment he can pay.
Louise: And it's usually the last one, too.
Archie(to Irene on the phone) Remember that song that had you in it?... That's right, good night, Irene!
ArchieIf you were to come in here, fresh off of the street, applying for the job of my son-in-law, I wouldn't hire you.
Mike: And if I knew you came with the job, I wouldn't take it.
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