ArchieYour room is still in my house, which means I got the right to search it.
Mike: (to Gloria) We're living in the Watergate Hotel here.
Played by Carroll O'Connor
All in the Family · 293 quotes
Most-quoted character in All in the Family: in 123 of its 293 quotes
Most scenes with: Mike (9), Edith Bunker (6), Gloria Stivic (3)
Lines by Archie Bunker 107
ArchieArchieWait a minute, where are you going?
Edith: I'm her mother, that's where I'm going!
ArchieThat's for suppertime, see? And that's the alarm you're gonna hear every night around this time, Edith, to show you that supper should be on the table.
Edith: Well, suppose I'm in another room and I don't hear it?
Gloria: Then you'll hear the old alarm, Ma... Edith, get supper on the table!
Edith: Archie, that sounded just like you!
Archie: Oh, really? Then why don't it make you move?
ArchieWhat the hell am I eating?
Edith: "Yankee Stew."
Archie: Well, the Yankees struck out.
ArchieDo for your own—take care of your own, that's the rule. That's what we done here today. We took care of our own.
S3 Gloria the Victim
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ArchieGod don't make no mistakes, that's how he got to be God.
ArchieRead your story of Adam & Eve there. They had it pretty soft there in paradise, they didn't have no worries, they didn't even know they was naked! And Eve, she wasn't satisfied with that, see? And one day, against direct orders she made poor Adam eat that apple. God got sore, He told them "Get your clothes on and get the hell outta here."
ArchieHow dare (Mike) calls me a bonehead?
Gloria: And how did you hear that? Did you have your little ears pressed against the wall?
Archie: No!
Edith: He listened with this glass.
ArchieLet me tell you something about beer: You can never buy beer, you can only rent it.
ArchieI demand an apology.
Edith: It's you that's gotta apologize to me.
Archie: I gotta? That's like asking Pearl Harbor to apologize to the Japs.
ArchieAll this celebrating just because one colored guy wants to leave the neighborhood.
Mike: I thought you'd be the one leading the cheers.
ArchieHey Jefferson, I don't blame your kid brother for wanting to leave home. If I was your brother, I'd want to leave home too.
George: If you were my brother I'd cut my throat.
Archie: If I were your brother I'd give you the knife.
ArchieI think you found the goose that laid the golden prune.
Archie(drunk in cellar) Last will and tentacle.
ArchieThis ain't something a man usually tells a woman: I love you, Edith.
Edith: I know that, Archie.
Archie: You mean I didn't have to say it?
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