Archie Bunker quotes from All in the Family

Archie

Edith, you done good! Your heart was in the right place. But your brain was out to lunch.

Archie

If a woman don't have no experience, then she should stick to unskilled labor, like being a wife.

Archie

Edith, with you, a "surprise" could be anything from a runaway horse to a Puerto Rican.

Archie

DING-DONG, Edith, Ding-Dong!

Archie

Anyways, (a bald spot) is a sign of brains. You know the old saying, "Grass don't grow on a busy street"?

Archie

Why don't you do what all the men do with their bright ideas? They drop them in the suggestion box.

Archie

(disputing Irene's claims about equal pay) In the Bible, it says God made man in His own image. And he made women after, from a rib—cheaper cut.

Archie

Let me tell you this: Equality is unfair!

Archie

God has one of them voices that you never, ever forget... You know, like Bing Crosby.

Archie

It makes a man stop and think when he's just been the victim of a miracle.

Archie

Fightin' that copper ball takes all the fun out of going to the toilet!

Archie

(to Edith) Don't be singing, the neighbors will think I'm killing ya here.

Archie

I'll probably live long enough to see them put a man on Mars.

Archie

I'm married. They give me five years for having Edith. Thought they'd dock me for that.

Archie

If you keep minusing, I'll be dead in 1965!