Zack quotes from Accidentally on Purpose

Zack

Because I didn't know she was gonna be here!

Zack

It's not a relationship. She sends me hot photos of herself and I forward them to my friends. [Billie gets madder] I'm joking. [Billie walks away, Liz stops her along with another girl]

Zack

[in an emotionless tone] Yeah dude, you tell me every year when you get drunk on "Jewish Forgive Me" day. [flashback to last years Yom Kippur]

Zack

Not the first year. The first year, I beat the crap out of you.

Zack

What's wrong with the changing table? I built that changing table.

Zack

It's fine. My mom used to change me on a Hibachi grill.

Zack

Did she say I'd make an obscene gesture?

Zack

[alluding to Nicole] I bought it without asking you. Imagine that.

Zack

I'll take his card.

Zack

But you don't understand. I need to be their for her, okay? Come on, dude. She is having my baby.

Zack

They are copying me. Stop copying me.

Zack

And my day just keeps getting better.

Zack

God, this is going on forever, and I have to get there in time. What's the longest it has ever taken for the baby to come out?

Zack

Really?

Zack

So, we are engaged.