Davis quotes from Accidentally on Purpose

Davis

Hey buddy. Everything flesh coloured yet?

Davis

Aren't they gonna notice that they are missing 60 gallons of coconut milk at your restaurant?

Davis

That is the work of a true break up master [Zack tries to warn him to no avail]. No CD's hitting you in the head, no chicks doing little chick punching. Yeah, definitely how I am gonna break up with my first girlfriend.

Davis

All I am saying is that if she was remotely good in bed, he would have delivered the box himself so he could hit that one more [Billie punches him in his arm] Oww! What the heck was that?!

Davis

I slept with her.

Davis

[to Billie] What the hell did you do to me?!

Davis

A hot chick wanted to have sex with me, and because of you, I blew up!

Davis

Wait a second. When does the movie start?

Davis

Ah. I thought it was just a really informative trailer. I have been saying to myself over and over, "They are really giving the whole movie away!"

Davis

Oh, the irony. They put the contraceptives right next to the baby food.

Davis

No bro, that is a must have. It twists the diaper into a never ending sausage of baby crap.

Davis

You both are acting like a couple of drama queens! [to Billie] So you lose your job. [to Zack] So you blow up the restaurant. So I sleep in your bed while you are at work. The point is, Zack, this is your M.O., man. You always panic, but then you succeed.

Davis

Now I feel really bad.

Davis

So, lesbians, huh? How great are boobs?

Davis

She's talking about her boobs.