James quotes from Accidentally on Purpose

James

No, really. You are glowing. Did you do something different.

James

Listen, I, I thought of about us a lot and I think I am ready.

James

I want us to go to the next level.

James

We can live together?

James

Sometimes at my place, sometimes at your place.

James

It's not?

James

Wait, wait, wait. You are having this punk's baby? What is this? Some desperate cry for help?

James

Am I gonna have to call security?

James

[Angrily] I should have told you that I know Krav Maga.

James

I've narrowed it down to two places. Both of them have small vineyards, so the question is - red or white?

James

Well, I went with the white wine because it hit me - I enjoy fish and chicken. Then, it turns out, the vineyard is infested with the bugs that spread Pierce's Disease. That's like herpes for grapes.

James

I try not to fight. I've got two simple rules to live by: keep all the blood inside my body and have as many orgasms as possible. And anyone who is doing anything else is doing it wrong. 'Cause at the end of the day, we are really all alone. You got to look out for number one.

James

Well, I see this ending well for me.

James

Yeah, yeah, sure it is. You know, there's all kinds of weird fetishes. Like people who are into weird costumes, or feet. Or monogamy.

James

Yeah, I know. She looks happy with Brian, and I hate it. Kind of reminds me when you burst on the scene.