Kerry quotes from 8 Simple Rules

Rory

It's just nice not to be the youngest for a change.

Kerry

Welcome to middle childhood. It's a real picnic.

Rory

You're right. I'm feeling neurotic and ignored already. I think I'm gonna go cry for no apparent reason!

Rory

I would appreciate it if you could stay off the phone for a while. There are going to be a lot of women calling me.

Bridget

Calling you what? Geek?

Kerry

Perv?

Bridget

Freak?

Kerry

Loser?

Rory

Not anymore.

Kerry

They had a lemonade stand.

Cate

That's cute!

Kerry

They're in high school!

Bridget

Yeah, it's more like a lame-o-nade stand!

Kerry

And last week, they had a cookie stand!

Bridget

Yeah, it's more like a lame-o-cookie stand!

Kerry

And they even had a mud pie stand!

Bridget

Yeah, it's more like a...I got nothing.

Bridget

What?

Kerry

I just think it's for some girl who has to try really hard and you don't. You should respect yourself like dad was always telling you to. You deserve the best.

Bridget

You deserve the best too.

Kerry

No, I don't.

Bridget

No, listen. What Kyle said to you, he meant it.

Kerry

How do you know?

Bridget

Kyle and I went out for a really long time.

Kerry

Yeah.

Bridget

He never said it to me.

Bridget

Kerry, are those my earrings? They are! God, first you steal my popularity & then my earrings?

Kerry

You forgot about your boyfriend!

Cate

(on the phone) Hello? Yeah, this is Mrs. Hennessy.

Kerry

Gosh, you are so jealous.

Bridget

Oh, please, I debuted at number two on the hot list.

Rory

Yeah, but she didn't have to do the things you did to get on it.

Kerry

(nervously) Mom?

Cate

(fighting back tears) My... my keys, where are my keys?

Kerry

Mom, what's going on?

Cate

Oh, my... (dashes out the back door)

(uneasily) Mom? Mom!

Kerry

Bridge? Grandma and Gramps are here.

Bridget

Is Dad with them?

Kerry

No.

Bridget

Well, then I really don't give a damn.

Bridget

The last words I said to Dad were, "I hate you."

Cate

Oh...

Bridget

(guilt-ridden) He wouldn't let me borrow his stupid car, and I said "I hate you." I had my dad, and the last thing I ever said to him was "I hate you."

Cate

Aw, honey. I think those were the first words you said to him, also.

Kerry

My last words were an insult, too. He was wearing his Michigan sweatshirt with chinos, and I told him there weren't enough Queer Eyes in all of San Francisco to help him.

Cate

Well, I sent him to the store for milk, so the last thing he heard out of me was, "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah." You know what his last words to me were? "Hasta la vista, baby."

C.J.

I remember in high school, I needed a duffle bag to carry all the cards I got. Oh, you don't believe me. I may not be much now as a result of some hard and yes questionable living, but back in high school, I was buff, young, and tan. Good looking. I was the man.

Kerry

Oh yeah, show us your yearbook.

C.J.

The man was sick on picture day.

Bridget

Okay, I'm not an academic and I don't want to stick out. So is there anything I need to know?

Kerry

Yeah, history, poetry, philosophy, addition.

Bridget

Mom, CJ's been in the shower for 45 minutes and he's hogging the hot water.

Kerry

Oh, great, now we have two blondes in the house who think they own the bathroom.

Kerry

Give me one good reason why I can't go to the Maeve Festival.

Cate

Actually, I'll give you three: sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll.

C.J.

Sold!

Cate

Corn?

Bridget

[VO] The chips are potato and corn...

Cate

[She stands up and knocks a bag over. A flyer falls out that reads "Evergreen - Fresh and Fun"]

Kerry

[VO] We rented... Evergreen. I hear it's totally fresh and fun...

Cate

[Flashback, reading a flyer] An overnight stay in a beautility salon...

Rory

[Flashback, hanging up the phone] That's weird. Travis Stevens just invited me over to his house...

C.J.

[Flashback, sipping a cup of tea] What do they covet most, Cate? Many, many boys...

Cate

Those girls! They are so dead!