Dick Solomon quotes from 3rd Rock from the Sun

Dick

Badgers don't suck! They bite!

Dick

I'm banned? Well guess what, Tommy didn't even want to come to this robot-factory-outlet. I made him. Me! Me! Me! Now I'm putting him back into a real school, where he can be himself. Not a school where kids are judged on how well they test or much they know. Where they aren't judged at all! Where they have the freedom to stay faceless and nameless. From K through twelve, carrying their diplomas straight through the golden arches, and on into their waiting McJobs! C'mon, Tommy, we're going home.

Dick

Who needs Christmas anyway? I say bug humbar.

Dick

I'm tired of feeling like a Catholic schoolboy always getting his knuckles rapped by the nun he's dating.

Dick

I don't mean to panic anyone, but I'm afraid the calamari has been infested with baby squid.

Dick

Where would we be without the agitators of the world to attach the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance?

Dick

Thank you Leon. You've made it all so clear! I've got to learn to let go, to move forward and focus on the thing that is most important in my life....MEEE!

Dick

Women always act so adult, but just like that they'll sink all the way down to your level.

Dick

Why should I be concerned about gaining weight? My body is just the vehicle that carries my brain around - and my brain deserves a smooth, luxurious ride.

Dick

I'm not finger-pointing... [points at Mary]...but it's YOUR fault! YOU!

Dick

How about a new strategy? What about "sad cop, slightly effeminate cop?"

Dick

And what makes that cop's gun so cool? PHYSICS! Kinetic energy generates the velocity with which the bullet exits the barrel, while the ballistics coefficient and sectional density determine the damage to its targets! Guns don't kill people, PHYSICS kills people!

Dick

Oh, I miss those days with Mary. Breakfast in bed, lunch in the bed. Changing the sheets... 'cause there's food in the bed.

Dick

Families don't refer to each other by rank. They use more familiar terms like "you" or "bastard" or... "you bastard."

Dick

Why? It's just a bet against myself! The only way I can win my money back is by getting horribly injured.