I'm not about to screw this up, Kenneth. 'Cause I'd get kicked out of show business, and then how would I be famous? By starting a fire and then rescuing everyone from it, and then I'm a hero, and then I'm in Playboy?
S6 E12St Patrick's Day
S6 E13Grandmentor
The UN is useless, the State Department is full of Democrats, and as it turns out Amnesty International is nothing but a company that makes and sells candles...
That explains all the vigils!
When I confronted him about it he was so condescending! He laughed at me, then he undressed me with his eyes. Then he had his way with me... with his eyes.
Ugh, the male gaze.
Yeah, they're all a bunch of gays.
Do not write another sketch with Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. No one knows who Krang is. It would be a waste of time to talk about Krang on television.
Can I ask your advice, woman to woman?
Are you sure? 'Cause I took one of those "Which Gossip Girl Are You?" quizzes, and it said I was the dad's guitar.
[scoffs] Please, you are so amazing. This place is such a boys' club, but you boss them around like an Amazon warrior queen. And look at your body! Your rack is like, "Pow!"
Hazel, what is the question?
It's Kenneth. He's not a page anymore, but he keeps trying to do my job for me. And when I confronted him about it, he was so condescending! He laughed at me, then he undressed me with his eyes. Then he had his way with me... with his eyes.
Ugh, the male gaze.
Yeah, they're all a bunch of gays.
S6 E14Kidnapped By Danger
You really are an extraordinary young man Kenneth. No matter what happens you always keep your chin up.
Medically it's a neck ridge.
You stay positive, you always believe that everything is going to work out! How do you do it?
Well, I'll tell you my secret, sir! [He leans in] I lie to myself. Every morning when I wake up, I say, "everything's going to be okay" but I'm lying! [Jack tries to stand, but Kenneth holds him in place] And I don't know how much longer I can do it. [he emits a pained squeal] Have a swell night, sir!
S6 E15The Shower Principle
As the doctor said to me after my hepatitis test, "You got it, sweetheart!"
S6 E18Murphy Brown Lied to Us
SKStacy Keach
...That's why I buy Bazooka Joe Gum. It's like chewing a mountain that someone shot a Freeze-Ray into.
Jenna, I've been thinking...
But Tracy, you're a celebrity.
S6 E20Queen of Jordan 2: Mystery of the Phantom Pooper
I've never been so disrespected in my life! And I've been to, and worked at, the post office.
S6 E21The Return of Avery Jessep
Not too much has changed. There's an iPod 3 and a Mitt Romney 4. They worked all the bugs out. He's not killing hobos at night anymore.
S6 E22What Will Happen to the Gang Next Year?
You don't need my advice.
But I still want it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 30 Rock pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.