Robin quotes from Young Dracula

Robin

Zoltan, I need your advice. I've got this problem.

Bathe it in warm water and keep it bandaged over night. That works for me.

Robin

Err... no. I mean, should you do what's best for yourself or what's best for your friends?

Ah, most people would say you should put the well-being of others before your own. Look at me, I have never been selfish. And now... I'm stuffed, ignored, mounted on wheels.

Robin

What're you two doing here?

Ingrid

Having a sing along, what does it look like?!

Vlad

You mean he's... he's dead?

Robin

Congratulations! Or not. What did I miss?

Ingrid

Nothing much. Oh, I broke a nail... and Boris is dead.

Robin

This is so what I wanna do when I leave school!

Don't do this, Master Vlad. Renfield Senior was mad, bad and dangerous to know. And when he sees me, he's going to want revenge!

Robin

Maybe you should nip to the card shop, see what they've got in the Sorry I Accidentally Savaged You To Death section.

Eurgh! What is it?

Renfield

Road-Kill Stew.

Oh... how continental.

Robin

Something just moved in there!

Ingrid

You don't get to go to the dream world until you're sixteen.

Vlad

What dream world?

Ingrid

The place vampires go when they sleep, bat brain! If you're slain there you die for real.

Robin

That's not good news.

Vlad

What if there's an evil vampire in my blood after all?

Robin

(amused) Vlad, you still sleep with a teddy bear, dream on!

Vlad

Robin, I can't fall asleep again.

Robin

It's double maths after lunch, you've got no chance.

Vladimir Dominus Imperator Electus.

Robin

So, did I become a vampire?

Vlad

Yeah, and yes you were wearing black.

Robin

Cool!

(checking Vlad) There's nothing wrong with him.

Ingrid

You wouldn't say that if you had to live with him.

Vlad

Ok, so we're here and the staff is there. Does everyone know where to go? Let's go!

Chloe

(pointing up the stairs) It's this way.

Robin

(to Vlad) I'd go with her, she's usually right.

Robin

Eurgh! It really smells like the plague in here!

Chloe

Sort of familiar though.

Robin

Mouldy cabbage, with a hint of toe jam.

Vlad

Week old armpit sweat.

Renfield!

Robin

Vlad, shouldn't a vampire be chasing us?

Vlad

But she's not a vampire, are you, Ingrid? You didn't go through with the transformation.

Ingrid

If you breathe a word of this to anyone I'll... well, I can't bite you, but I'll do something evil!

Robin

I don't get it. I thought you had to transform.

Vlad

I thought so, too. But there's a way out of it, isn't there?

None whatsoever!

Ingrid

Run!

Robin

Is she dead?

Ingrid

(snarls, then smiles) Not quite!

Had all the emergency services out at three in the morning.

Robin

But I definitely saw something.

Not a shred of evidence.

Robin

Exactly, no evidence that there wasn't a UFO.