Xiaolin Showdown · Season 1
I guess this would be the part where I let out my new trademark evil laugh. Hahahahahahhahahahah! Muahahahahahaha! [This continues for several seconds]
Not so fast Spicer! He who is last to be laughing laughs most loudly!
What Omi did to that sentence is what we're going to do to you!
[holding up the Sweet Baby Among Us Wu] It's like taking candy from a bunch of babies! [laughs hysterically]
Huh? Who's got the rabies?
Hurry up, old timer. We gotta get the Ruby of Ramses before it reveals itself.
[Omi, Jack, and their future selves touch the Ruby of Ramses]
Jacks, we Omis challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown Tsunami!
I can't find my teeth.
Our Third Arm Sash against your Monkey Staff!
Our Mantis Flip Coin against your Thorn of Thunderbolt! Or Thunderbolt actually.
First group to make it to the top of the pyramid maze wins!
Bring it on, baldies! [chuckles]
Let's go! Xiaolin Showdown Tsunami!
I've got two words for you. GYM MEMBERSHIP!
Wha? I...I don't recall that name. Gym membership! He owes me 5 bucks that guy.
[as Jack uses the Mind Reader Conch; thinking] That Jack is slower than a three-legged cow in quicksand!
What!? I'm faster than any three-legged cow! [gets hit by Omi]
[Dojo puts the Mind Reader Conch up to his ear and hears the Xiaolin monks' thoughts]
[thinking] Ugh! Enough out of you.
[thinking] Oh, shut up!
[thinking] Stupid dragon.
[thinking] Put a dadgarn sock in it.
[annoyed] Hey! I heard that!
Sorry, Dojo.
[sneaking into the Shen Gong Wu vault] As long as I am here, I will test my ability to use the Conch wisely. Ah. Mind Reader Conch. [puts it to his ear and listens to Raimundo's thoughts]
[thinking] I'll just tell Omi that I went out to meditate. He believes everything he's told.
People tell me all the time that I don't believe everything I'm told, and I believe them! Oh, that Raimundo!
[Kimiko uses the Mind Reader Conch to hear Clay's thoughts]
[thinking] I can't believe the way Kimiko threw a hissy fit today. She gets angrier than a cat in a hot tub of water.
[outraged] Angry? Me? I am not angry. I'M THE LEAST ANGRIEST PERSON I KNOW!!!
[Megan appears in front of the monks rolling in the Jack's shield]
Hi, I'm Megan.
Oh, there's something you don't see every day. A little girl in a hamster ball.
Are you looking for Jack Spicer and the ugly old hag? [everyone nods and she gets out of the shield] My stupid cousin Jack thinks he locked me inside that thing but I found the door.
It's time to play Megan Says. And Megan says "Scream like a sissy boy"!
I don't think I know that one.
JAAAAAAACK!
[Jack screams like a sissy boy]
When hunting the elusive Wu, you have to move as quiet as a cat. [accidentally stubs his toe] OOOOWWWWWWWWW, OOOOHHH THAT HURT! [screams loudly, then covers up mouth]
[sleeping] Yawn.
[creeps up next to her; quietly] Shadow of Fear! [enters Kimiko's dream, causing her to start having a nightmare]
[grunting in her sleep] No, NO!
Looks like my young monks had trouble sleeping last night.
Actually, I had a pretty gross dream. Jack Spicer was in it.
Me too! Did he do his evil laugh?
Yeah, and it was so annoying.
Now that Jack has the Shadow of Fear, it's very possible that he has been visiting your dreams.
Talk about wanting to wash my brain out.
Everybody ready to go kick some Jack Spicer's butt?
Does it bull like that snort?
Yeah, I couldn't have put it better myself.
Uhh...I have some scroll to study right now.
What?
[as his Shen Gong Wu senses tingles] Sorry to break up this downer fest, but I'm sensing another Shen Gong Wu! [unveils the scroll] The Crouching Cougar. An excellent ground vehicle for jungle travel will all the power and handling any young warrior could ask for.
[as the Xiaolin monks switch fears and fight while getting to the Crouching Cougar] Hey, no fair! [flips through the script] Where does it say they could switch?! I hate it when actors improvise!
[hovers through the script] Will you just forget about them, and get the Shen Gong Wu?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Xiaolin Showdown pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
