TV show quotes
Hey, wait a minute. Those villagers hired me, and only Joxer the Mighty is going to stop the Scythians.
Joxer, I once knew a warrior who tried to stop them. They buried him in Sparta, Athens and Carthage.
What do you mean?
They buried him in Sparta ... Athens ... and Carthage ... think about it, Joxer.
Don't make me hurt you, Scabrielle.
Alright, Eczema, what are you going to do, huh? You going to use your pressure points? Go on. Go ahead. Go for it. You can't touch me. C'mon. C'mon, you're really tough now Warrior Princess.
Oh, Argo, Argo, Argo. Somebody walked by with an apple and she followed him home.
Hah!
That's what horses do!
...
(later)
(to Argo) How did Ascius win you over? (Argo motions over to an apple tree) What? Apples? You left me for apples? Thanks, pal.
I don't ask for much. I just want my pony back. Where's Gabrielle?
Nature called.
No, it screamed like a wild banshee.
I need a volunteer ... I pick you.
Huh?
Yeah, don't be shy. Your mother wasn't
You've done this before.
A couple of times.
I've never been in a war. I've only wondered what it's like. When I think of Phlanagus out there fighting ... sometimes the thoughts are too much to bear.
I know what you mean.
I could tell that he hated it. He wrote to me telling there was no glory, no honor, just a monster that needed to be fed. And now, I finally have him back ... and the monster's followed him home.
Everyone, gather around. Most of you are already packed and the rest of you need to hurry. It is time for you to go beyond the mountains, you'll be safe there until this is all over. I need to ask you to do something. You must destroy your village.
Destroy the village?
Burn it, rise it to the ground! Kill all cattle and poison the meat. We must leave nothing for the Romans to use, this land must be worthless to them! I know this is not an easy thing to do, it's where you grew up it's your home. Where you married, where you've raised your families but it is the only way. You can rebuilt when you come back. It is the only, way.
What is it like to kill someone?
It changes everything. Everything.
Don't tell me this is another one of virtue-is-its-own-reward jobs. Oh Xena, I thought better of you, I really did. You know, I might as well go back to Ormand. I've got a good thing going with the King's sister. I'm this close to the crown jewels and he doesn't suspect a thing.
He does now. I sent a second pigeon.
People of Peleos, may I present to you Philipon of Crete, Reformer of warlords, dancers and evil people. It's said that he once convinced the King of Thieves himself to do a good deed for no reward other than his own virtue.
The King of Thieves, that degenerate blowhard.
Beg your pardon?
Sinners like him never have the courage to be really successful. I'm sure he's just a fraud and an idiot.
Ha ha ha, no doubt. Would you excuse me? (to Xena) This plan of yours, does it involve humiliating that horse's ass?
Yep.
Then I'm in.
What in Tartarus have you been carrying on these shoulders?
I wouldn't know. I try not to over analyze my life like some people.
Some people say that an unexamined life is not worth living.
Those people haven't led my life.
You know what I've spent the last two years asking myself? How can that murdering bitch, Xena, send people away to be punished? You never had to pay for your crimes. That's always bothered me.
Then we have something in common. It's always bothered me too.
Would you like to join our mission?
What's your mission.
To fight Evil wherever we find it.
Can you be a little more specific?
It's a great curse to have seen one's death.
The djinn told you?
Yes, but not everything. Your vision, does it ...
Yes, it includes Gabrielle.
Does she know?
No.
That's fortunate for her.
Do you think it can be avoided?
Of course, I believe our destiny is in our hearts. But it will take drastic measures to change an event foreseen in your soul's eye.
The Light will triumph, Xena.
Quit preaching and fight!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Xena: Warrior Princess pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
