Stone Cold Steve AustinI don't have anything philosophical to say or anything that's gonna change the world. I just know that I was given an opportunity to speak about what's happening, so all I have to offer is my opinion...and...and my opinion, what I think is the people who did this are a buncha complete cowards. Ah, my heart goes out to anybody that lost loved ones in this whole ordeal. And uh...I think that tonight, by going back to work with the World Wrestling Federation, I think it's...uh...I think it's the thing to do. It feels strange, and I've had this uh, I've had this bad feeling come over me ever since this whole thing has happened and it doesn't seem like I can shake it. But uh, as a person, and I think as a country I think we have to shake it. We have to mourn the losses of the people that we knew, but we have to, uh...we have to get back - we have to get the gears rollin' again, and that's what we're here to do tonight. Uh, what happened this past Tuesday was the worst thing that I've ever seen in my life, and I hope that I never ever see anything like this again, except, to the people that when we find out who did this get a payback, because they deserve a payback, and they deserve exactly what they have comin'...
[Having had enough of the Stone Cold Steve Austin-themed pranks they had all night long, the McMahon-Helmsley Regime calls out The Rock on his earlier warning that Austin was indeed in the area]
The Rock promised that Stone Cold was gonna be here tonight, and the Rock is a man and a half living up to his word, and always keeps his promises! Now all night long, the Rock has thoroughly enjoyed watching all your candy asses get confused, get paranoid. The beer, the rattlesnake, the only regret is that the Rattlesnake didn't bite one of you in your candy asses! Shane McMahon, beating up the cardboard cutout of Stone Cold. Real tough. Triple H, beating up the Stone Cold lookalike in a bathroom! Well, who do you think the Rock is? The Rock doesn't dress like Stone Cold, The Rock doesn't talk like Stone Cold, the Rock doesn't even look like Stone Cold... but [gestures to Smackdown screen] HE looks like Stone Cold. [Austin appears on screen]
Stone Cold Steve Austin
Hell, I understand you jackasses have been looking for me. Hell, I'm at the parking lot, I've been here in out all night long! Now there seems to be some concern over whose side Stone Cold Steve Austin is gonna be on this Sunday at Backlash. Will Stone Cold Steve Austin be looking to favor Triple H or will Stone Cold Steve Austin be on the side of The Rock. That's an easy one for Stone Cold to answer, because the answer to that is, I'm gonna be on the side I've always been on and that's mine! But what I've got right now, is a little demonstration for ya, to any one of you little grubby bastards that thinks they're gonna get their hands on Stone Cold Steve Austin. You see, there's a lot of people out there that are good at construction, a lot of people good at building little things with their hands. Hell it seems the only thing I've ever been good at is tearing shit up. Basically, I guess what I'm saying is, I'm good at deconstruction, so what we got here [tears off label in crane, revealing AUSTIN DECONSTRUCTION] is my own little toy and Stone Cold Steve Austin's got just a little example of what might happen [gets in control booth] if anybody gets their little grubby meathooks on me!
Austin
[sets up controls] Oh that's what I'd like to hear.
What the hell is he doing? [sees Austin set up a concrete barrier over the DX Express bus] Wait a minute, that's the DX Express!! [Austin drops barrier on the bus and the bus explodes] Holy cow! Do you believe that? The DX... Express bus just exploded!!
Austin
And that's what's gonna happen to anybody that tries to mess with Stone Cold Steve Austin this Sunday at Backlash AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE, 'CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!!
He's demolished the DX Express!
Oh hell yeah, Stone Cold is back! Austin 3:16 says, "I just wrecked your bus!" Sunday night, King, at Backlash, on pay-per-view could be the Rock's night 'cause Stone Cold said so!
[Mick Foley argues with Stone Cold Steve Austin over his investigation of who ran down Austin at Survivor Series and the fact that no suspects came up. Austin laments being back but is disappointed at the lack of progress in the investigation]
When I headed down to the ring on Monday night, you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking If it was anybody else interfering in matches, they'd be gone and out of the WWF. And I'm also thinking about 1991 and 1992, Steve Austin and Mick Foley splitting a 20-dollar room to save a few bucks, riding in a little crapbox car to save a few bucks so I'm thinking maybe I'd just try to save face with the boys, maybe I'd give Steve Austin a little fine, a little slap on the wrist, thinking by this point in your life, you've saved enough money that no amount of fine I give you is gonna mean a damn anyway. But then what you did Steve, you went and you put your hands on me and all of a sudden my decision changed because you left me no other alternative but starting now, until we find out who ran you over, to suspend you indefinitely!
Steve Austin
Well, then I want to ask you one time, Stone Cold Steve Austin to Mick Foley, to reconsider.
When I said that you've left me no other alternative, that was my answer. The answer is no.
Austin
And when you said no, you left Stone Cold Steve Austin no alternative - [lays down a Stunner on Foley]
My name is Kurt Angle. And I'd like to answer some questions I've been getting from you fans ever since last Monday night. Questions like, "Why?" "What were you thinking?" "How could you do this to your country?" Well, let me assure all of you I'm still your Olympic hero. I'm still an American hero. I'm still everything that makes this country great, and you know why? Because I'm a winner! And with Survivor Series coming up, I started to think, who else is a winner? Who do I want on my side when everything's on the line? Well, let's see. Undertaker? He's been here forever, and what has he accomplished? I've done more in two years than he's done in a decade. Kane? Kane's not a winner. He's a follower. A guy who lets the man who burned him as a child lead him around on a leash? Just pathetic! Chris Jericho? Rock? Please! Those are the two most egomaniacal, self-absorbed jerks in the history of the business. I'm supposed to put my career in the hands of these four? I don't think so! There's only one man, one man who I can trust to get the job done. There's only one man who typifies everything this country should be. A role model to anyone who wants to be a winner. And that man is Stone Cold Steve Austin. Think about it. No Mercy, SummerSlam, King of the Ring, Judgment Day, to name a few. And oh yeah, WrestleMania after WrestleMania after WrestleMania. Does Austin cheat? Yes. Does he play fair? No. When it's all on the line, does he get the job done? Oh hell yeah! And that's who I want on my team. I feel safe putting my career in his hands. We may not be the best of friends, but the man backs up what he says. He is without a doubt, the toughest S.O.B. I've ever faced. And the bottom line is, the guy knows how to win. Because people, as much as I love my country, and I do, I love my job. And I'll be damned if I'm going to put my job in jeopardy by teaming with some WWF losers. And any of you people would do the same thing. In fact, how dare you people be upset with me! Hey, I didn't lie. I never said I wasn't defecting. I still have my intensity, my integrity, and my intelligence. [camera zooms out revealing Shane McMahon and Stone Cold Steve Austin standing side-by-side by Angle] And now that I'm on the side of Stone Cold Steve Austin and Shane McMahon, I know I'll be employed after Survivor Series. And you fans will still get to see your Olympic hero for a long, long time. Oh, it's true. It's damn true.
SMShane McMahon
Very good. [shakes Angle's hand] Very good.
Stone Cold Steve Austin
I'm proud of you.
Thanks. [pats Austin's WWF Championship]
Austin
Don't touch.
[Austin has just beaten up Booker T at the Green Frog and brought him to the counter]
Stone Cold Steve Austin
[hearing police sirens; leaves] Price check on a jackass!!!
[sprawled at the foot of the checkout line; cries] I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you... [weeps]
[Back at the arena skybox, Ric Flair is laughing at Vince]
RFRic Flair
[to Vince McMahon] I think I told you you'd enjoy the show. [slaps Vince at the back before he leaves]
WWE SmackDown! · 149 quotes
