Tony ChimelLadies and gentlemen, here to sing "America the Beautiful" on our nation's birthday, WWE's own, Lilian Garcia!
LGLilian Garcia
[singing] Oh beautiful, for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain, for purple mountain majesties, above the fruited plain, America, America, God shed his grace on thee, and crown thy good with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea. America, America, God shed his --
LSLance Storm
[over Garcia's singing] Stop the music! Stop the singing! Stop all of this right now! [comes down to the ring with Christian and Test as the crowd boos] I don't mean to ruin your little birthday celebration. We've had all we can take of this America the Beautiful crap! Lilian, get out of that ring. A matter of fact, get out of this building!
CChristian
Get out of here! [Lilian leaves the ring as the crowd boos and chants "USA!"] Today, July the 4th. America celebrates Independence Day. Well let me ask you all a question. Do you even know why you're celebrating? Well considering the ignorance of the American youth, you probably think of Independence Day as the day Will Smith saved the world from a bunch of aliens!
SStorm
But let me tell you what really happened. America was founded as British colonies. And in 1776, America declared itself an independent country, and turned its back on Britain! Now that's gratitude for ya. But America could only contain its aggression within its own boundaries for so long. Ultimately, America released its war-like hostilities on the rest of the world. There was World War I, World War II, the Korean War. Tell me America, what right did you have to be in Korea? [crowd chants "Asshole!"] What right did you have to be in Vietnam? Vietnam, it's a bit of a touchy subject, isn't it? Why? Because you were defeated. You Americans are such hypocrites! You don't like me out here telling you the truth. You don't wanna hear what the rest of the world has to say. It's funny how that contradicts your very own Constitution. The First Amendment speaks of freedom of expression. A freedom of speech. [crowd chants "You suck!"] But you Americans don't really wanna hear what other countries have to say about you.
TTest
Other countries say America is the most hypocritical nation in the world. The rest of the world hates America. We hate America. So for your birthday, America, dig this.
CSChristian, Storm, and Test
AMERICA SUCKS!
Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo! Damn y'all are alive tonight! [crowd chants "Cena"] This is my home. This is where I'm from. Y'all are my peoples. Hell, I used to buy tickets for the old Boston Garden. I could only afford the cheap ones where I was sitting right behind the pole. But that's real, and we gotta kick this off real. Now is Beantown here to represent?
So let me hear the whole building make some noise! [crowd cheers] You see, uh, at WrestleMania, Big Show didn't think I was a fighter. I put him on an FU diet. He came out ten pounds lighter. The SmackDown! video games are only way he could me. I bring championships home like my name was Tom Brady. But there's some people out there, that think I disgraced this title's heritage. [crowd boos] That's 'cause your boy's causing more controversies than gay marriages. Cole, Cole, no offense bro, we still cool right? [Tazz laughs]
All right bro. All right. Plus, the FCC is crackin' down on me too. [crowd boos] Man, those people suck! Just like the Yankees do. [crowd cheers, then chants "Yankees suck"] But I'm still throwin' the W up, changing the whole industry, I'm like the big dick bro. Nobody can finish me.
John Cena all fired up tonight.
Tony Chimel
And his opponent,
His first U.S. title defense, [Paul Heyman's music hits]
Wait a minute, that's not Cena's opponent.
The hell? [Paul Heyman comes out]
That's our general manager, Paul Heyman. Leave it to Heyman to ruin a great homecoming.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. [crowd boos] The rumors are true. Brock Lesnar is no longer with Paul Heyman's SmackDown!. Brock Lesnar has left World Wrestling Entertainment. But for you John, that could be good news, because now that Brock Lesnar's gone, there's a whole world of opportunity for any SmackDown! superstar that wants to grab it. Which means you John, could be the new face of SmackDown!. But it doesn't have to be that way. You see, this coming Monday, live in Detroit, Michigan, every ungrateful member of that Paul Heyman's SmackDown! locker room will be at Monday Night Raw, including you John. And by order of the chairman of the board, Mr. McMahon, the representative of Raw is gonna pick out names. And if a member of the SmackDown! locker room happens to be one of those names, then that member of SmackDown! goes to Raw. And if I, John, happen to pick out a name of a Raw superstar, then that Raw superstar gets drafted to Paul Heyman's brand new SmackDown!. You see John, if I were one of the superstars, if I were in that locker room tonight, I would get down on my hands and my knees and I would pray to God that I get drafted to Monday Night Raw because those that get left behind are going to incur the wrath of Paul Heyman. So let me spell this out for you so that even you can understand it John. I'm very stressed out. I got stunned by Stone Cold because of that locker room, AND I WANT EVERY MEMBER OF MY LOCKER ROOM GONE! I WANT YOU OFF OF MY SHOW! YOU CONTEMPTIBLE PIECE OF BOSTON CRAP! [slaps Cena]
DO YOU HEAR ME?! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I'M FINISHED WITH YOU! I'm, I'm gonna -- [tries to hit Cena but Cena blocks]
Uh-oh! [Cena knocks out Heyman]
And a right hand to the jaw of Heyman!
There has been a lot of talk about my actions last week on SmackDown!. I have been called a liar, a con artist, and quite frankly, it hurts because you people have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. I'm an extraordinary human being capable of doing extraordinary things. In case you forgot, I won an Olympic gold medal with a broken neck. And last week, when I saw Eddie Guerrero, who I despise, who brings shame and disgrace to this company, who was about to regain the WWE Championship, I sucked it up, set aside my pain, and did what I had to do to make sure it didn't happen. I did the impossible. Do I believe in miracles? Yes, I do. And sure, afterwards, I regressed, my doctors told me that my actions enabled me to further damage my knee. My therapists told me that I risked permanent paralysis. But it was worth it. It was worth it for the greater good, to maintain Kurt Angle's SmackDown!. Where men are rewarded by morality. Where men, like John Cena, are stripped of the U.S. Championship. Where men, like John "Bradshaw" Layfield, stand tall as the WWE Champion. A SmackDown! where Eddie Guerrero becomes obsolete. That's right, Eddie! [hears "Eddie" chants] You see, Eddie Guerrero, what he did was wrong. But I'll tell you what. I'm gonna give Eddie Guerrero a chance tonight to keep his job because what he did, I could fire Eddie on the spot. But I'm a decent man, so I'm not gonna do that. But, there's one thing that Eddie Guerrero has to do. He has to come out here and he has to convince me to keep his job, provided that he begs for it. If Eddie Guerrero gets on his knees and begs in front of me for his job back, I promise, as general manager of SmackDown!, I will let him keep his job. But it's got to be good and it's got to be sincere. And I'll show you what I'm talking about. [Turns to Tony Chimel] Tony, would you come in the ring? And bring your microphone.
[Tony Chimel enters the ring]
In case you don't know who this man is, this is our ring announcer and Philadelphia's own, Tony Chimel. [audience cheers] Mr. Chimel is a great significance to me because he was the ring announcer at my last match, WrestleMania XX. The match where Eddie Guerrero cheated to win. And the last image that keeps going over and over and over and over again in my head is Tony Chimel, with a smile on his face, announcing, "And the winner is Eddie Guerrero!" Now, Mr. Chimel, in case you didn't know, when you cheat, you don't win which makes you a liar. And in my book, that's immediate grounds for dismissal. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you saying I'm a liar? Is that what you're saying? No? I'll tell you what, Tony Chimel. I could fire you on the spot. But I'll tell you what. If you can convince me to keep your job, I'll let you have your job. Go ahead.
Tony Chimel
Kurt, I...
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Knees. On your knees.
Tony Chimel
[getting on his knees] Mr. Angle, I sincerely apologize if I offended you in any way. Please, just let me keep my job. Please.
Are you kidding me? You call that begging? Say it like you mean it!
Tony Chimel
Mr. Angle, please. Please, I have a wife and three kids. I just... just wanna have my job, please.
All right, all right, all right. That was good. Much better. Actually, that was really good, but not good enough. Tony Chimel, YOU'RE FIRED! [audience boos] NOW, GET OUT OF MY RING! GO, NOW!
[Tony Chimel leaves the ring]
I'm sorry, but Tony Chimel's not a very good beggar. But don't worry, people, because someone will be begging for their job tonight. And that man is Eddie Guerrero.
The Bashams stole the damn titles!
Tony Chimel
Here are your winners and the new WWE Tag Team Champions, the Basham Brothers.
JBL's co-secretaries of defense are now the new WWE Tag Team Champions.
Oh, it's a reality, Cole.
The guts that Rey Mysterio showed in this matchup, and he was a split-second away from winning the thing and the Bashams pulled a damn switcheroo.
Well, shades of last week, they pulled that switcharoonie last week on Van Dam, Doug and Danny, they just did it tonight, and tonight they capitalized big time by getting the tag team titles.
[replay shows]
And look at Rey Mysterio, a moment away in my mind from perhaps keeping the tag team titles.
There's the switch. That was the switch right there.
But the Bashams with the switch and then the sit-out powerbomb. New tag team champions but you gotta give it up for Rey Mysterio. His partner injured and dragged out of the arena. Mysterio still tried to hang on.
Rey did. I mean, hats off to Rey Mysterio. Hope Van Dam's physical condition of his knee is OK. Rey was caught between a rock and a hard place, but at the end of the day...
[JBL and the Cabinet come to celebrate the Basham Brothers tag team championship win]
Oh, please. I'm gonna be sick.
Chief of Staff, look at this. Big party down, new tag team champs in the Cabinet. Wow.
So, JBL has the WWE gold. The Bashams, the tag team gold. Just what the Cabinet needs: more gold around their waist. Now we're gonna have to live with this.
And look at this! [JBL whacks John Cena with the WWE Championship belt] JBL with the championship off the skull of John Cena! The referee never saw it! The damn champion with the title off the skull of Cena! [Orlando Jordan crawling to Cena to cover him] Orlando Jordan crawling toward the cover! Not this way! [the referee makes the count] Not this way! Dammit!
[bell rings]
Tony Chimel
Here is your winner and the new United States Champion, Orlando Jordan!
You gotta be kidding me! This whole "Cabinet leaving" garbage was a damn joke!
Hooked us! Hook, line, and sinker! Hooked everyone, you, me, everybody here! JBL, like it or not, the man's a damn genius! We thought he split the arena! We thought he left!
A new United States champ? Wow!
A masterful plan, hatched by the champion, JBL, to take the United States Championship from John Cena. JBL and his Cabinet, with a diabolical scheme tonight, to take the title from Cena. Orlando Jordan is the new United States Champion.
[Chavo Guerrero's music hits and he appears. The crowd boos]
I can't wait to hear this. Nothing this man can say will convince me what he did to Rey Mysterio in the past two weeks was right.
JLJohn "Bradshaw" Layfield
Where's your objectivity? Let's listen to what he has to say.
Tony Chimel
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Chavo Guerrero.
And why are you surprised? Why does Kasparov play chess? Why does Clemens pitch? It's in his DNA. It is in Chavo's DNA to be a Guerrero. I've known three generations of Guerreros; you cannot trust a Guerrero. Lie, cheat and steal, remember, Michael?
Oh yeah, I remember. That's their motto, the Guerrero motto.
Don't look down on it, Mr. High-and-Mighty.
Eddie Guerrero made that phrase famous.
CGChavo Guerrero
People want to know why I screwed Rey Mysterio, why I betrayed Rey Mysterio. But first, I want to know: what is betrayal? Is betrayal stealing from another man? Is betrayal stealing his name from him? Stealing his blood? Because that's what Rey Mysterio did to me, did to my whole family, the Guerrero family. What? You don't believe me? You don't believe that Rey Mysterio is a thief? Let me tell you what he stole from me. I grew up with Eddie Guerrero. We were like brothers. We used to lie, cheat, and steal together. When Eddie passed away, we all felt it. We all felt it, we were all devastated. I retired from wrestling, I walked away from wrestling. But did Rey Mysterio? Noooo. He used the Guerrero name, Eddie's name. It seemed like every other match, Rey was dedicating the match to Eddie's memory. The Royal Rumble, No Way Out, even at WrestleMania. Every five minutes, he was mentioning Eddie's name, very, very convenient. And when Rey won the World Heavyweight Championship, it got even worse. Rey, you couldn't stand on your own, Rey, you couldn't keep the title on your own. What did you do? You used another Guerrero — me. Rey, I saved you from losing the title to JBL. I saved you from losing the title to Mark Henry. I saved you over and over and over again. But you decided to stand right here in the middle of this ring and take all the glory, and use Eddie's spotlight and Eddie's name that all of you chanted to him. At The Great American Bash, I couldn't take it anymore. And that's when I realized that Rey Mysterio, you didn't just steal Eddie from me, you didn't just steal Eddie from the Guerrero family, you stole the memory of Eddie from each and every one of these people out here, from you [points to one person in the audience], from you [points to another person in the audience]. People ask me why I did what I did. Because Rey Mysterio, you're nothing but a leech, living off the blood of the Guerrero name.
[Rey Mysterio appears and charges towards the ring]
Michael [as Rey and Chavo begin fighting]: It's Rey Mysterio! Rey has heard enough! Chavo, Rey unloading on Chavo Guerrero!
Chavo was right! Chavo was right with everything he said!
I thought it was a pathetic excuse, as Mysterio and Chavo continue to beat the hell out of each other inside the ring! [Rey and Chavo fall to the outside and keep fighting] And now it spills outside the ring; these two former best friends are beating the living hell out of each other!
He shouldn't have desecrated Eddie's name; that's what Rey Mysterio-
You know damn well he did!
WWE SmackDown! · 149 quotes
