John Cena quotes from WWE SmackDown!

John Cena

Yo yo yo yo yo. Chill chill chill.

John Cena

The champ is back! [crowd cheers] And we right here in Dayton, Ohio! And tonight, your boy's gonna win back the United States title. Carlito, Carlito, Carlito, Carlito. He thinks he's the man, he got a little swagger, he got the walk, the talk, he's very cool. Thinks he's man enough to steal my chain. Sneak away with the title that y'all know means everything to me. Oh and check this one out! This dude's man enough to see that I'm taken care of at a nightclub. Taking this away from me. So tonight, Carlito, we gonna see if you man enough to go face to face with the franchise and still handle your business. [crowd chants "Cena"] You see, Carlito's been ducking me. But not as nowhere else to go boy. I'm about to put a whippin' on the Pillsbury fro boy. Walking out here talking like he's cool, but y'all people don't believe it yet. How is Carlito cool? He looks like a freakin' Chia pet. Hey you know what? I'm not cool. Because John Cena's on fire! A word of advice tonight before we fight, you should retire. The way he walks, the way he talks, [spits] spitting out his fruit and vegetables, I kick you so hard, you'll be chokin' on your testicles! And bring Jesus out with you! He's no bodyguard, he's fillin' space! He's so soft, he lost a fist fight to the dude from Will & Grace! You embarrass me once, now it's time for the tides to switch. 'Cause everybody here knows payback is a bitch.

John Cena

The champ...is here. JBL, Wrestling God, longest running WWE Champion in the last decade, has survived the Triple Threat match, the Fatal Four-Way match, has beat The Undertaker, beat Eddie Guerrero in a steel cage, and then again in a Texas Bullrope match, survived The Big Show in a Barbed Wire Steel Cage match. But the champ is here. [crowd chants "Cena!"] I'm supposed to be a thug. I don't talk like a champion. They say I don't, I don't fit the dress code, but I think I'm doing alright. It's been said that I'm not a superstar because I'm putting myself on the same level as the people I fight for. This one's good. I have no respect for this business and I have no respect for its championships. You see, when I uh, modified the United States Championship, apparently, wrestling traditionalists and JBL got a little offended. Well I got news for you. Take a look. Take a last look at your [holds WWE Championship] coveted prize, because if you think what we did to the U.S. title was disrespectful, hell you better lock the dog at the country club! Because the champ is here! [crowd chants "Cena" as Cena approaches the crowd] Listen. You hear that? I said, do you hear that? [crowd cheers as Cena walks into the audience] Look around! This is what we do! [crowd cheers] So it don't matter if you're Booker T, Kurt Angle, Big Show, JBL, hell it don't matter if you're the Brooklyn Brawler, Iron Mike Sharp, SD Jones or Steve Gatorwolf, our time is now! This is the Chain Gang! And we ain't hard to find. You want some, come get some, because the champ is here!

Kurt Angle

Listen, the next step is Survivor Series, all right?

Chris Benoit

Whoa whoa whoa, what were you thinking? Have you lost your damn mind?! You picked him? Him to be my partner tonight? And to be the fifth member on our team at Survivor Series? How can we trust him? How can we trust him?! Hmm? This guy has made a career of trying to tear us down. And you picked him to be on our team?

Angle

Wait a minute, Benoit. News flash! I can say the same exact thing about you. I don't like you. And I don't trust you either. And I know you feel the same exact way about me. But sometimes in business, you have to get along with the people that you absolutely detest in order to reach a common goal, and you know that! So don't give me that crap. [John Cena is behind Benoit]

John Cena

You know Chris, I don't like you either. [Benoit gets in Cena's face]

Angle

Whoa whoa whoa, hold on, hold on! Hey save it for tonight, save it for tonight guys. Come on, come on.

Cena

Yo captive, don't sweat yourself.

Angle

Easy.

Cena

Only reason I'm teaming with you and Kojak is to get a shot at Team Sasquatch. If I gotta team with you to get a shot at Team Lesnar, well that be's like that sometimes. Just remember out there bro, you can't see me.

Benoit

He tries one thing, ONE THING, to try to screw me tonight, and I am going to take his head off, and then, I'm gonna come looking for you.

John Cena

Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo! Damn y'all are alive tonight! [crowd chants "Cena"] This is my home. This is where I'm from. Y'all are my peoples. Hell, I used to buy tickets for the old Boston Garden. I could only afford the cheap ones where I was sitting right behind the pole. But that's real, and we gotta kick this off real. Now is Beantown here to represent?

Hell yes!

Cena

So let me hear the whole building make some noise! [crowd cheers] You see, uh, at WrestleMania, Big Show didn't think I was a fighter. I put him on an FU diet. He came out ten pounds lighter. The SmackDown! video games are only way he could me. I bring championships home like my name was Tom Brady. But there's some people out there, that think I disgraced this title's heritage. [crowd boos] That's 'cause your boy's causing more controversies than gay marriages. Cole, Cole, no offense bro, we still cool right? [Tazz laughs]

Michael Cole

What?

Cena

All right bro. All right. Plus, the FCC is crackin' down on me too. [crowd boos] Man, those people suck! Just like the Yankees do. [crowd cheers, then chants "Yankees suck"] But I'm still throwin' the W up, changing the whole industry, I'm like the big dick bro. Nobody can finish me.

Cole

John Cena all fired up tonight.

Tony Chimel

And his opponent,

Cole

His first U.S. title defense, [Paul Heyman's music hits]

Tazz

Oh whoa whoa!

Cole

Wait a minute, that's not Cena's opponent.

Tazz

The hell? [Paul Heyman comes out]

Cole

That's our general manager, Paul Heyman. Leave it to Heyman to ruin a great homecoming.

Paul Heyman

Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. [crowd boos] The rumors are true. Brock Lesnar is no longer with Paul Heyman's SmackDown!. Brock Lesnar has left World Wrestling Entertainment. But for you John, that could be good news, because now that Brock Lesnar's gone, there's a whole world of opportunity for any SmackDown! superstar that wants to grab it. Which means you John, could be the new face of SmackDown!. But it doesn't have to be that way. You see, this coming Monday, live in Detroit, Michigan, every ungrateful member of that Paul Heyman's SmackDown! locker room will be at Monday Night Raw, including you John. And by order of the chairman of the board, Mr. McMahon, the representative of Raw is gonna pick out names. And if a member of the SmackDown! locker room happens to be one of those names, then that member of SmackDown! goes to Raw. And if I, John, happen to pick out a name of a Raw superstar, then that Raw superstar gets drafted to Paul Heyman's brand new SmackDown!. You see John, if I were one of the superstars, if I were in that locker room tonight, I would get down on my hands and my knees and I would pray to God that I get drafted to Monday Night Raw because those that get left behind are going to incur the wrath of Paul Heyman. So let me spell this out for you so that even you can understand it John. I'm very stressed out. I got stunned by Stone Cold because of that locker room, AND I WANT EVERY MEMBER OF MY LOCKER ROOM GONE! I WANT YOU OFF OF MY SHOW! YOU CONTEMPTIBLE PIECE OF BOSTON CRAP! [slaps Cena]

Cole

Oh ho!

Tazz

Man.

Heyman

DO YOU HEAR ME?! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I'M FINISHED WITH YOU! I'm, I'm gonna -- [tries to hit Cena but Cena blocks]

Tazz

Uh-oh! [Cena knocks out Heyman]

Cole

And a right hand to the jaw of Heyman!

Solo Sikoa

John Cena. I'm pissed off I gotta wait till tomorrow to fight you... but I got orders from the Tribal Chief. And those orders was to give you this microphone so you can say goodbye to them [points to the WWE Universe] while you still can. Because come tomorrow, [extends his thumb] you won't be able to. [holds out the microphone to Cena, who slowly takes it]

John Cena

[raspy voice, not impressed] That's it? Do you realize who you're in the ring with? We've been waiting for you talk for over a year, and that's all you bring to the table? Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, man, I can do this with half a voice, and it's only gonna take 90 seconds to cook ya. I'm gonna say goodbye. I'm gonna say goodbye, but I'm not gonna say goodbye to them. I'm gonna say goodbye for them. We all know the only reason you got a job here is because of your cousin. And we all see you, homie, walkin' around, thinking you're some big, badass enforcer, when you're nothing but a bargain, basement Taz ripoff! So do me a solid, Solo. Tape your thumb up extra tight, 'cause the only place it's gettin' stuck tomorrow is straight up your ass! [looks at his wrist] Yeah, that's about 90 seconds. [drops the mic and leaves, leaving Solo stunned with anger]