[Kane has just taken down Mankind as the No 1 contender for Austin at Fully Loaded, as Vince McMahon and Steve Austin watch along with JR and Jerry Lawler]
Vince McMahonWhat about it, Austin? Kane...
Look, look... [Kane takes off his mask to reveal it's the Undertaker underneath]
It's not Kane! [Austin is surprised] It's the Undertaker, it's the Undertaker... [the Undertaker makes a throat-slitting motion to Austin] the Undertaker's the No 1 contender!!!
[Vince is bitterly angry that Austin crashed his WWF Championship awarding ceremony for the Undertaker and Kane]
Vince McMahon
Before I was so rudely interrupted, Undertaker and Kane, we were about to present the WWF Championship. However, if you recall, the deal was, Undertaker and Kane, you would get the title shot as long as you kept Stone Cold Steve Austin away from me. For three times, three times in less than a week, Austin has brutally attacked me!!
Vince McMahon
So let me say this, you didn't live up to your end of the deal, I'm not gonna live up to mine! [Undertaker glares at him]
What? What is he saying, J.R.?
Vince McMahon
You're gonna have to fight for it! On the next pay-per-view, October 18, you two are gonna battle it out for the WWF Championship...
That's at Judgment Day in three weeks...
MMcMahon
...whether you like it or not. And by the way, since you can't seem to keep Stone Cold out of your business and mine, good, I'm gonna put him in it. Austin is gonna be the guest referee.
Austin will referee Kane and the Undertaker at Judgment Day.
MMcMahon
And Stone Cold, Austin, I just hope that somewhere, your cellmate is telling you all of this right about now, because I wanna be there to watch him suffer the indignity of having to count one of you two monsters to the WWF Championship.
MMcMahon
However, so that everyone in this arena is not cheated, so that everyone at home watching Raw gets their money's worth, that in this ring tonight, you will see Undertaker and Kane in a handicap tag-team match, against three individuals...
MMcMahon
...Ken Shamrock, Mankind, and The Rock!
Oh yeah! Shamrock, Mankind, The Rock against the Undertaker and Kane here tonight live.
MMcMahon
And maybe, just maybe you could get it right, I'd like to wish you the best of luck. You know why? I think you two are gonna need it because as far as I'm concerned, it's like dealing with the handicapped. One's physical [referring to Kane] and the other is mental [referring to Undertaker]. Good luck to you both.
[Undertaker grabs McMahon.]
You need to watch your ass, because the next time you get out of line with either one of us, you're gonna be the one handicapped, and that I will promise.
NNurse
[to Mr. McMahon] It looks just fine to me. [to a doctor] How about you, doctor?
[disguising as a doctor] I'll take it from here, nurse.
Vince McMahon
NO!
[Austin attacks Vince McMahon.]
MMcMahon
Get him off me! Get him off me!!
AAustin
[mumbles as he strips off Vince's shirt] How about your foot? [attacks Vince McMahon's injured ankle, on a cast at the foot of the bed. McMahon shrieks in pain] What do you think about that?
[Austin slams Vince McMahon with a bedpan, and he falls off the bed]
AAustin
Calling Dr. Austin--Get up, you piece of trash. Get up, you piece of sh- [manhandles Vince back to bed] Calling Dr Austin we got a emergency!
AAustin
[sets up defibrillator] Everybody clear [shocks Vince and stoomps on him on the floor]
MMcMahon
[as Austin bends him over the bed and he gets an enema-like device connected to an IV drip] No! No please no!! No, help me, please!
AAustin
I've always known you were full of shit, Vince. You just bow down. This is gonna hurt you more than it'll hurt me! [kayfabe jams device up Vince's butt. Vince screams loudly] You piece of trash!
[Steve Austin is driving a cement truck toward Vince McMahon's Corvette.]
I knew it JR. He's trying to drive it right in here, then get ready to run. He'll run over us.
Wait a minute, there's...
Hey, wait a minute, don't run over Mr. McMahon's Corvette.
I don't think he's... [sees Austin setting up the mixer's metal trough on the car] it doesn't look like he's going to run over it.
Oh my God, I don't believe this.
I do not believe this, ladies and gentlemen.
Mr. McMahon! Mr. McMahon!
That's one of the Corvettes in Mr. McMahon's collection.
That's a $50,000 car! No! J.R.! [cement mixture is poured into the car] NOOOO!
Oh my God! Oh my! Austin is loading McMahon's car with cement.
Vince McMahon
[watching it on the monitor] That's my Corvette!!!!
McMahon's car is being loaded with cement.
[The cement mix overflows, breaking the car's side and rear windows.]
McMahon's prized Corvette, one of his collection, is being destroyed by the Rattlesnake.
The Rattlesnake has struck. [Austin leaves cement truck] And it looks like... Austin is coming our way.
Somebody call the cops!!!
Austin is heading our way. The Rattlesnake, will he be here next?
[Vince McMahon appears with his lawyers, Sgt Slaughter and the stooges plus Big Boss Man]
Vince McMahon
Against, against my volition, Stone Cold Steve Austin is here in this arena, tonight. Not only do I hold Stone Cold Steve Austin responsible for every single, reprehensible act he committed against me, I want all of you people to know, that I hold [points to audience] each and every one of you responsible as well! My God, what's the matter with you people? I've lost all faith in humanity! Where the hell are your values? Where are your morals!? Whatever happened to the Good Samaritan? Where were you in my hour of need? I'll tell you where you were: you were cheering for every act of humiliation Austin committed against me! You savored every violation, every liberty that Austin took against me, but what you enjoyed the most was when Austin forced me to go to the ring. He made me get down on my knees, he made me beg! He made me... [saddened] he made me cry! He made me urinate myself! [angry] And where were you? Where were any of you? No one came to my aid. [to stooges] Not you, Brisco! Not you Patterson, or the Commissioner, no one. My ankle has been reinjured, I've ruined a perfectly good Armani suit. I hurt all over. But most of all, my feelings have been hurt. They have been crushed, but despite the injury, the insult Austin, after the injury I will never ever forgive you for! That wasn't a letter of introduction you jammed down in my coat pocket oh no, that was a legal document Austin and you know damn well then it was a legal document, and with this battery of attorneys I have behind me, Austin, I will fight you. I will fight you in court if I can, hell I'll fight you all the way to the Supreme Court! Austin, before you make your next move, you better take stock in what I say.
[appears on TitanTron] Well speaking of stock, here am I. I've been stocking Pampers diapers, in case the bastard pisses all over himself! You know what I mean!
[Shane McMahon appears as Vince fumes at Austin being employed in the WWF with a new contract and ignores his calls to join him on the stage]
I don't listen to you anymore. I am an officer, more importantly, a stockholder of this company, and what you did to Stone Cold Steve Austin was wrong, Dad. You were wrong.
Vince McMahon
[to the stooges] He's just a kid, he's just a kid!
I just wanted to tell you personally that it was me. It was me, Dad, that hired Stone Cold back. Dad, it was me!... Hey, I guess I finally have your attention now, don't I? After 28 years, I FINALLY have your attention. I've seen superstars come, and I've seen superstars go, and why, Dad, why? Because it's always been about your ego! You said it yourself: no one's bigger than Vince McMahon, oh no! All my life, people have asked me, 'Boy, what's it like to be Vince McMahon's son? Wow, isn't that great?' And I have lied year after year after year... [gets more emotional] to protect you, to protect our family name. Well, the lying stops now! I'm tired of it!... You never cared about me! Everything—I couldn't do anything right for you. Nothing is ever right. My grades in school were never good enough for you.
Vince
[in tears] Yes they were!
My athletic accomplishments were never good enough for you. My business deals—no matter how much money I made you—was never good enough for YOU! The only thing I ever wanted from you, the only thing I ever wanted, is for you to be proud of me. OF ME! But I finally figured it out: That's never ever gonna happen, because it's never been about me, it's been about you. YOU, DAD! [Vince closes his eyes and grimaces because Shane struck a raw nerve] It's always about perception. Perception. Ever since, I'm always known as Vince's boy. 'How does Vince's boy make him look?' It wasn't about me, it was about how I made you look, that perception, at your big corporate parties.
Vince
[saddened] You're my son—
Yeah, I'm your son, but I'm not your little boy anymore. I'm a man and I stand in this ring as a man. I'm no longer your boy, Dad. I'm proud of who I am. I am proud of the person I have become. My name is Shane McMahon, and for 28 years—for 28 years I've finally built up enough courage to face you here today, to stand up to YOU! I guess, now you have something to be proud of me about, don't you Dad? Because I finally stood up to you and I had the BRASS to do it!... Isn't it ironic? I guess, I'm just like you after all, isn't that right, Dad?!? [tosses mic back to Austin as Vince rebuffs Pat Patterson trying to comfort him]
If you think Vince got what he had comin', gimme a hell yeah.
[A wheelchair-bound Vince McMahon has just made Mankind promise he won't interfere in an upcoming match between Ken Shamrock and the Rock and has something for him]
Vince McMahon
I have it for you. [takes off black sheet] This is the WWF Hardcore Championship belt, and Mick, you've earned it. You've earned it. [Big Boss Man moves away to open a door]
[accepts title and laughs] I love it! [kisses belt] I gotta be honest with you, I love it!
Vince
Just one thing. In some respects, I think I lost a son tonight... [puts hand on Mankind's shoulder] maybe I gained another.
Really? [Vince drives off] Gee thanks, Dad. [Vince stops, visibly irked. Leaves]
[Vince McMahon addresses the crowd]
Vince McMahon
Thank you for that warm Kentucky reception! Last night at the Survivor Series, my son Shane and I proved that whoever it was that said 'you can't fool all of the people all of the time' was a damn fool. A damned fool is someone who insists on doing things the hard way. A damned fool is someone who embraces middle class ethics and values. And a damned fool, a damned fool is someone who doesn't pucker up and kiss the boss' ass. Now now now wait a minute, now don't tell me all of you don't kiss the boss' ass, I know you do, you probably don't just kiss it enough! Right now, I would like to introduce you to someone who certainly is no damn fool, oh no, he's not the People's Champion, he never was; he's always been MY Champion. Ladies and gentlemen, the World Wrestling Federation Champion - the CORPORATE Champion - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE ROCK! [The Rock comes to the ring] Ladies and gentlemen, listen up to the Rock!
You know Mr. McMahon, all day long the Rock's phone has been ringin' off the hook, and the message has been clear. Why Rock? Why did you sell out? Well, actually, the Rock never sold out - the Rock just... got ahead. Now, will some of you call the Rock a kissass? Well I'm sure you will, because quite frankly, you are all unintelligent pieces of trailer park trash - do you smell it? Now, you pieces of trash - you work your candyasses off day after day after day, 9 to 5, for minimum wage. Well, the Rock did what the Rock had to do to get to the top of the World and that is him standing smack dab in the middle of the Corporate ring, your WWF World Champion!
Now, sure, you pieces of trash, you work hard, you do what you have to do, day after day, and quite frankly, you're all no different from a big piece - the biggest piece of trailer park trash in Stone Cold Steve Austin. Well, I'll tell you what, you and Austin, you can have your morality, you can have your honesty, you can have your blood... you can have your blood, your sweat and your tears, I'll tell you what, all that hard work, fifty cents couldn't buy you a cup of redneck coffee. Now: 'Die Rocky Die.' 'Rocky Sucks?'
You see, the Rock NEVER, EVER forgot that, and he's gonna damn sure make sure that you NEVER, EVER forget it as well. You see what the Rock plans on doin' is he plans on raisin' the Peop- oh, I'm sorry, he plans on raisin' the Corporate Eyebrow, he plans on planting ya with the Rock Bottom, and the Rock damn sure plans on layin' the smack down on your candy ass with the most electrifying move in sports entertainment today, the Corporate Elbow. Now, the Rock said that he would rather be the People's Ass than to ever kiss his. But now, the Rock says, he would much rather kiss Mr. McMahon's ass than to EVER, and the Rock means EVER, kiss yours if you smell what the Rock is cooking!
[The Rock is livid that Vince caved to Mankind's demand for a WWF title match just to spare Shane from a broken shoulder]
I'm the damn champ. How could you just give in so damn easy? Regardless of who it is, I'm not even ready, the Rock doesn't have his clothes, he got nothing... [Shane and Vince talk over him]
He nearly broke my left shoulder.
Vince McMahon
It's my son, dammit!
The Rock doesn't have his clothes. I'm the champ and then now all of a sudden, I gotta face Mankind?!
Vince
It's my son!!
I know it's your damn son but dammit I...
Vince
[as they all walk to the backstage] Go get ready, you're a champion! C'mon, get ready, you're a champion!
Vince McMahon
I don't mean to interrupt, but, I guess maybe I do. This is not easy for me, but...what I'm trying to say...to make a long story short, I need your help.
You said— You said what? You need my help? Is that what you said?
Vince McMahon
I need your help. The Undertaker has my daughter, Stephanie, and I need your help.
You got to clear this up exactly for me. What are you trying to say? Just go ahead and say something, 'cause you ain't making no sense.
Vince McMahon
Well...this isn't— It's not anything personal. I know that you don't like me and I know you never will.
Vince McMahon
And the feeling is somewhat mutual, but...it's not about you and me. This is personal and it involves my daughter Stephanie. And Steve, you can help me.
With all due respect, to you and your little daughter— Hell, son, I've got a million problems of my own. So as far as I'm concerned, I really don't give a rat's ass about your problems.
Vince McMahon
But Steve, The Undertaker has made...he's made some demands. He's asked for some documentation and that's all right with me, I don't care about the documentation. But he's made other demands. He's demanded that, instead of me delivering the documentation to him, he's demanded that you deliver that documentation to him, and if you do that I really believe that everything will be fine with my daughter Stephanie, and I think you can understand from my point of view as a father.
What you're saying is— What you're saying is Vince McMahon needs Stone Cold Steve Austin! That's what you're saying?
So if that's true...if that is true that Vince McMahon needs Stone Cold Steve Austin, then that's what I want you to say to me. Say it to me: "Vince McMahon needs Stone Cold Steve Austin."
Vince McMahon
Vince McMahon needs Stone Cold Steve Austin.
That all sounds real good Vince, but hell, you must think that I have a real horrible memory because the last 15 months, every single night I come to work, you see fit to put my life, make my life a living hell, and I will give you credit, you have done one helluva job.
[WWF CEO Linda McMahon has set up a six-man King of the Ring tagteam match between Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, and Triple H against the Rock, Undertaker, and Kane. Vince fumes at the booking]
Vince McMahon
We accept, we accept! You think you're gonna embarrass me?!? Huh?!?! You think you can come out here and put me in a position where you're gonna embarrass me in front of all these people, that's not gonna happen! I don't give a damn what match you make at the King of the Ring, I don't care what match you make tonight, tomorrow night, or any other night!
Well, if that's the case, Vince, how about tonight? [let's sink in] If that's the case yeah, Triple H, you'll defend the World Wrestling Federation Championship... [as HHH seethes] against an opponent of my choosing.
Vince
[brushes off HHH's protests] That's it? You got it! Triple HHH defends his WWF title tonight, and okay he doesn't know who his opponent is. Even so, he'll do it even it's not fair and [points at her] you know damn well it's not!
Not fair? Well, if you don't think that's fair, you're probably not gonna like this either. Because there's another championship that needs to be defended tonight- and that championship is yours, Stephanie. [Stephanie reacts] Come on, Steph, you will defend the World Wrestling Federation Women's Championship against Lita [Steph mouths off NO!] - and pay very close attention to this, this is the stipulation: If any member of the Faction interferes in the match at all, you will be disqualified and Lita will be awarded the Championship.
Vince
[ponders the logic in the announcement] All right you got that too, I'm happy. Now you've made your announcements, Little Ms CEO, you can go back to playing CEO somewhere else, maybe where you started your day this morning in Wilmington, Delaware. [tries to walk off with Shane, Stephanie, and HHH]
Whoawhoawhoawhoa, Vince. [they look back at him] I don't play the CEO, I am the CEO. and as the CEO, I'll make this one final announcement tonight. Tonight, Shane McMahon will see action and also tonight, Vince McMahon will see action. And both Shane McMahon and Vince McMahon will team up in tag-team action against... the Dudley Boyz! [Father and son are dumbfounded] But it's not just any tag-team match. It's a Tables Match! [Shane walks off in disgust while Steph comforts a grimacing Vince]
[Stephanie steps in to stop Kurt Angle, Edge and Christian, and Vince McMahon from beating down Commissioner Mick Foley]
Stop! Stop it! Stop beating up on Mick Foley. Mick I hope you're alright because I got something that could change your life forever. I hold in my hand documents from the Board of Directors that could very well change the face of the WWF forever. These papers clearnly state that since my mother, Linda McMahon, the CEO of the World Wrestling Federation, has been deemed mentally incompetent that the Board of Directors has no other alternative than to grant full power and authority of the CEO's office... [looks at Foley] to [changes voice] my dad! [Vince's face regains color as Stephanie give her the papers] Congratulations, daddy! It's official!
Vince McMahon
That's my baby girl, huh! Sorry, Linda, if you're in the hospital watching, business is business and since I now have complete and total full authority over the World Wrestling Federation, that means Mr McMahon is back! So therefore, with the power that is invested in me, Vincent K McMahon, it is my duty to inform Mick Foley that his services are no longer required. [motions to Foley as he slumps in the corner] In other words, Mick Foley, you bleeding huck of adipose tissue, YOU'RE FIRED!!
[A distraught Foley stands up but Kurt Angle fires a chairshot at him. Vince shakes hands with Kurt Angle, Edge and Christian, and leaves with Stephanie, but remembers something at the stage]
Vince
Oh, oh, and uh, just one other thing. Mick, Mick Foley... Merry Christmas!
[Vince, the Undertaker, and the APA meet the entire WWF locker room]
Vince McMahon
All right guys, listen up here for a minute, please.
Hey, hey. I'm sure y'all saw what happened here tonight. Look, they still don't damn get it. But you know what, tonight we're gonna show their asses that we mean business. [wrestlers murmur in assent]
These second-rate sons of bitches wanna ride piggyback offa us, 'cause they can't make it on their own? Then tell 'em to bring their little invasion on, because starting tonight, we ain't takin' this shit no more. It's TIME we got knee-deep in somebody's ass! [wrestlers get agitated]
MMcMahon
Guys, let me just say this, that - make no mistake about what's going down here tonight - make no mistake about what's gonna happen this Sunday, 'cause no one in this room has ever been threatened personally...like you're threatened now. None of us have ever been threatened collectively like we're threatened now. This coalition of WCW and ECW - they wanna eat each and every one of you alive. They wanna do it tonight, and they wanna finish us off on Sunday. Now I was hoping that we were gonna have someone with us tonight to lead the way, Stone Cold Steve Austin.
To HELL with all that! I've heard all of that I'm gonna hear. What it's time for is to find out who the phony tough is and who's the crazy brave. Austin - he's made a hell of a name for himself here in the WWF, and now he don't have the heart to go out and to fight for the company that made him? I say the HELL with him! The rest of you, you need to understand this - there's no shame in goin' out and fightin' and gettin' your ass kicked. There's no honor in not fighting at all. So who wants to fight? [wrestlers murmur] WHO WANTS TO FIGHT??!? [wrestlers get agitated and Undertaker quiets them as a staff member brings in Freddie Blassie on a wheelchair]
Gentlemen, there comes a time when every man must fight for what he believes in! [rises from wheelchair] You understand? Now's the time! Get up, stand up, and fight! [wrestlers get louder]
WWrestlers
Fight!! FIGHT!!!!
[at a bar, Austin is so unnerved by footage of the gathering that he moves balls around a pool table and smashes a cue before leaving]
DDebra
Steve! Where are you going??
WWE Raw · 371 quotes
