Lines by The Rock 5
[The Rock is on the TitanTron after Big Show just defeated 2Cool]
The RockFinally, the Rock has come BACK to Pittsburgh! Big Show, The Rock realizes what just took place, The Rock realizes that you won a hard-fought victory, well congratulations, but The Rock has but one thing to say to you: [singsong] somebody got a haircut!! [Big Show angrily stomps his feet] So that officially means Big Show that you're no longer a long-haired, seven-feet, 500-pound piece of monkey crap, no you are not. You are a SHORT-HAIRED seven-feet, 500-pound piece of steaming, stinking, grade-A monkey crap!!! Now Big Show, you want to run your month about how you've got an eyewitness to The Rock's feet hitting the ground at the Royal Rumble, well The Rock says this: He is tired of hearing you whine. The Rock is tired of hearing you bitch, the Rock is tired of hearing you cry and moan like a baby but there is something that the Rock wants [open palm and points at Big Show] you to listen to... and that is the most important sound you will ever hear in your pathetic life, and that is all the Rock's fans chanting his name! [audience responds with Rocky! chants] Now Big Show, seeing as you've heard the sound, The Rock says, go back to Supercuts and get your five dollars back, jabroni!! Now on to our Olympic hero, Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle the Rock says this you run your mouth about how you beat the Rock. The Rock says you have never - and The Rock means [audience joins for the word] NEVER!! Ever beaten the Rock, so the Rock says this quite simply put, the Rock says that tonight, you like to wear your gold medals, well the Rock says this, he's gonna go out there and win a gold medal for kicking your candy ass all over Pittsburgh! If you SMEEEELLLLL, What the Rock is Cooking!
[The Rock slams Kane and Chris Benoit as they and Kurt Angle leave him, Rikishi, Mick Foley, Triple H and Stephanie]
The Rock
Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa. The Rock is not done. You see, Mick Foley, the Rock is in a very giving mood as well. Now Kane, since you just wanna find things... Benoit, all you wanna do is prove things. Well, the Rock is gonna make both of you very happy men tonight. You see, before you and Kane face the Rock and Rikishi, the Rock wants you to do this - the Rock wants you to go find a very quiet place tonight. You two together, nobody else, you two by yourselves, go find a nice quiet place where you can be alone. And all your dreams can come true. All your dreams can come true - your dream, Kane, of finding things - your dream, Benoit, of proving things will come true, and this is how you do it: Benoit, when you're by yourself with Kane, pull your pants down [Benoit is blocked by the referees from coming down to the ring] go ahead Benoit, pull your pants down, and prove to Kane that you're not a woman!... and Kane, since you just wanna find things, you go ahead and find the penis Benoit claims he has! [Kane tries to go after the Rock, but the referees hold the line against him and Benoit]
The Rock
Finally, The Rock has come back to New Jersey! Just as sure as for the very first time, Kevin Kelly, The Rock stood here right in this arena and called [points at] you an ugly hermaphrodite is just as sure as this Sunday night, at Armageddon, The Rock will be at Hell in a Cell. This is gonna the most brutal match The Rock has ever been in. The dangerousest match The Rock has ever been in. The Hell in a Cell. And it doesn't matter, Kevin Kelly, what you call it. Whether it's called a Hell in a Cell, or Rage in a Cage, Painus in Uranus, the only thing that matters is that The Rock is going in this Sunday night, to do exactly what he does best - layeth the smacketh down and get back The Rock's WWF title.
[The Rock appears after winning the WCW title]
The Rock
Finally, The Rock has come back to Grand Rapids! Shane McMahon, just so the Rock understands this: The Rock supposedly doesn't care about the history of the WCW? The Rock doesn't care about history of the WCW title? Well The Rock knows damn well the history of the WCW title. The Rock knows that the title traces back to Frank Gotch, Lou Thesz, Ricky Steamboat, and - woooooooooo! - Ric Flair! The Rock also knows damn well, what in recent years the WCW title has come to... Diamond Dallas Page? Booker T? The guy from Scream 2, the dog from Married with Children, the maid from The Jeffersons! Shane McMahon, this WCW title is just like your sister, everybody gets [makes finger-petting motion] a turn!
[The Rock has an Eric Clapton song for Vickie Guerrero]
The Rock
Late in the evening, she's wondering what clothes to wear.
She puts on her makeup. She brushes her short, black hair
And then she'll ask me, "Do I look alright?"
And I said, "No biatch! You look horrible tonight."
Scenes with The Rock 8
[Vince McMahon addresses the crowd]
Thank you for that warm Kentucky reception! Last night at the Survivor Series, my son Shane and I proved that whoever it was that said 'you can't fool all of the people all of the time' was a damn fool. A damned fool is someone who insists on doing things the hard way. A damned fool is someone who embraces middle class ethics and values. And a damned fool, a damned fool is someone who doesn't pucker up and kiss the boss' ass. Now now now wait a minute, now don't tell me all of you don't kiss the boss' ass, I know you do, you probably don't just kiss it enough! Right now, I would like to introduce you to someone who certainly is no damn fool, oh no, he's not the People's Champion, he never was; he's always been MY Champion. Ladies and gentlemen, the World Wrestling Federation Champion - the CORPORATE Champion - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE ROCK! [The Rock comes to the ring] Ladies and gentlemen, listen up to the Rock!
The Rock
You know Mr. McMahon, all day long the Rock's phone has been ringin' off the hook, and the message has been clear. Why Rock? Why did you sell out? Well, actually, the Rock never sold out - the Rock just... got ahead. Now, will some of you call the Rock a kissass? Well I'm sure you will, because quite frankly, you are all unintelligent pieces of trailer park trash - do you smell it? Now, you pieces of trash - you work your candyasses off day after day after day, 9 to 5, for minimum wage. Well, the Rock did what the Rock had to do to get to the top of the World and that is him standing smack dab in the middle of the Corporate ring, your WWF World Champion!
Now, sure, you pieces of trash, you work hard, you do what you have to do, day after day, and quite frankly, you're all no different from a big piece - the biggest piece of trailer park trash in Stone Cold Steve Austin. Well, I'll tell you what, you and Austin, you can have your morality, you can have your honesty, you can have your blood... you can have your blood, your sweat and your tears, I'll tell you what, all that hard work, fifty cents couldn't buy you a cup of redneck coffee. Now: 'Die Rocky Die.' 'Rocky Sucks?'
You see, the Rock NEVER, EVER forgot that, and he's gonna damn sure make sure that you NEVER, EVER forget it as well. You see what the Rock plans on doin' is he plans on raisin' the Peop- oh, I'm sorry, he plans on raisin' the Corporate Eyebrow, he plans on planting ya with the Rock Bottom, and the Rock damn sure plans on layin' the smack down on your candy ass with the most electrifying move in sports entertainment today, the Corporate Elbow. Now, the Rock said that he would rather be the People's Ass than to ever kiss his. But now, the Rock says, he would much rather kiss Mr. McMahon's ass than to EVER, and the Rock means EVER, kiss yours if you smell what the Rock is cooking!
[The Rock is livid that Vince caved to Mankind's demand for a WWF title match just to spare Shane from a broken shoulder]
The Rock
I'm the damn champ. How could you just give in so damn easy? Regardless of who it is, I'm not even ready, the Rock doesn't have his clothes, he got nothing... [Shane and Vince talk over him]
He nearly broke my left shoulder.
The Rock
The Rock doesn't have his clothes. I'm the champ and then now all of a sudden, I gotta face Mankind?!
The Rock
I know it's your damn son but dammit I...
[as they all walk to the backstage] Go get ready, you're a champion! C'mon, get ready, you're a champion!
Welcome to Raw Is Jericho! And I am the new millennium for the World Wrestling Federation. Now for those of you who don't know me, I am Chris Jericho, your new hero, your party host, and most importantly, the most charismatic showman to ever enter your living rooms via a television screen. And for those of you who DO know me, well, all hail the Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-a!
Now when you think of the new millennium, you think of an event so gigantic that it changes the course of history. You think of a dawning of a new era. In this case, the dawning of a new era in the WWF. Thank you, thank you. And a new era is what this once proud and profitable company sorely needs. What was once a captivating, trend-setting program has now deteriorated into a cliched, let's be honest, boring snoozefest that is in dire need of a knight in shining armor, and that's why I'm here. Chris Jericho has come to save the WWF!
Now let's go over the facts. Television ratings, downward spiral; pay-per-view buy-rates, plummeting; mainstream acceptance, non-existent; and reactions of the live crowds, complete and utter silence. And I know why you're silent! You're silent because you're embarrassed to be here. And quite honestly, I'm embarrassed for you. And the reason why you're embarrassed is because of the steady stream of uninteresting, untalented, mediocre "sports entertainers" who you're forced to cheer for and care for. No wonder you're not cheering! You could care less about every single idiot in that dressing room, [indicating The Rock] and especially this idiot in the center of the ring. You people have been led to believe that mediocrity is excellence. Uh-uh. Jericho is excellence. And now for the first time in WWF history, you have a man who can entertain you. You have a man who is good enough for you. You have a man who can make you jump up off your chairs, raise your filthy fat little hands in the air and scream "Go Jericho go! Go Jericho go! Go Jericho go!" Thank you.
The new millennium has arrived in the WWF, and now that the Y2J problem is here, this company—from the front-office idiots to all the amateurs in the dressing room, including this one, to everybody watching tonight—will never, eeee-ee-eh-ever be the same a-gain!
The Rock
...After three boring minutes, The Rock says, "Know Your Role, AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" How dare you little jabroni come on The Rock Show, and not even have the class to introduce yourself. What is your name?
The Rock
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! The Rock says you talk about your Y2J plan? Well, The Rock has a plan of his own, and it's called the K-Y Jelly plan. Which...which means The Rock is gonna lube his size 13 boot real good. Turn that sumbitch sideways, and STICK it straight up your candy ass! If you smelllll...what The Rock...is cooking.
[Triple H and Stephanie McMahon gloat over him defeating Cactus Jack at the Royal Rumble, but Big Show complains to them about The Rock's cheating him out of the finish of the Royal Rumble, which would have gained him a WWF Championship match against HHH at WrestleMania]
Show me the proof and it's yours. [The Rock's entrance music kicks in and he appears]
The Rock
Finally, The Rock has come back to Philadelphia! Triple H, The Rock says this - seeing as he just won the Royal Rumble, it officially makes your days as the WWF Champion, numbered. Translation, at WrestleMania, The Rock is just gon' kick your monkey ass. [to Big Show as crowd chants "Rocky!"] Now, onto you. Seven feet, five hundred pounds of whinin' bitchin' moanin' [mock whining] 'Oh The Rock's feet touched the ground first [normal voice] well The Rock says it doesn't MATTER if The Rock's feet touched the ground first! The Rock says this, it doesn't matter if The Rock's feet touched the ground, it doesn't matter where The Rock's feet touched, the ground, the mat, or straight up your big fat candyass! This ain't the NFL - there is no instant replay - the only thing that matters RIGHT NOW is The Rock has won the Royal Rumble, The Rock is going to WrestleMania, and The Rock stands before [points at the people in the ring] you, and you, and even you - the People's Champion.
You know, Show, seems that uh, you and I seem to have a little common problem. To be that jackass up there with the big ego - seems to be a common thorn on our sides. So I'll tell ya what - tonight - you and I, we're gonna team up and we're gonna get in the ring... against The Rock and a partner of your choosing. That is, if - you can go in the back and find one of those - what do you call 'em, Rock, jabronies? - that you like to put down so much. If you can get one of those jabronies to pal up with you, be your friend, and tag with you, then you got yourself a deal. If not, if one of those jabronies WON'T tag with you, then [to Big Show] you and I we're gonna have ourselves a little handicap match with The Rock.
The Rock
Well, The Rock says this - if there is someone in the back who wants to team with The Rock, then that's fine... The Rock doesn't need it, The Rock doesn't want it. The Rock says this, against you and you, two-on-one against the Great One means this, is one way or the other, come hell or high water, bet your candyasses you will smell what The Rock is [points to them] cookin'.
Rock, based on your actions of earlier tonight, Shane and Stephanie have placed you inside a steel cage against Chris Benoit. [crowd chants Rocky!]
The Rock
Finally, The Rock has come back to Springfield! Shane and Stephanie, you think The Rock was just gonna sit here in the back and not reacquaint The Big Show and Triple H with their old friend, the Rock Bottom? You think The Rock was gonna do that, and did you think for one single solitary second that you solved all your problems by placing The Rock inside of a steel cage against Chris Benoit? Well The Rock says this, tonight, make no mistake about it. The Rock likes the steel cage. The Rock loves the steel cage. And The Rock says this. The Rock says this. The Rock has no hidden agenda. The Rock's agenda is open for the world to see. The Rock hides nothing, unlike you, Shane, Stephanie, Big Show, all of ya! The Rock realizes you probably got a hidden agenda for tonight's match. The Rock realizes that. But make no mistake about it, The Rock has nothing to hide. The only thing that The Rock is gonna hide tonight is The Rock's boot turned sideways, straight up Chris Benoit's candyass! If ya smell...what The Rock is cookin'!
Man that's gonna be a war right here live tonight inside the steel cage, The Rock and Chris Benoit.
Last night at Unforgiven, you successfully defended your WCW title, but no rest for the weary, because tonight you will defend that title, yet again, this time against Rob Van Dam.
The Rock
Finally, The Rock has come back to Columbus! [crowd cheers] You see, last night was a very special night for The Rock. Handicap match, The Rock, Booker T, Shane O'Mac, The Rock walked in to Unforgiven the WCW Champion, The Rock walked out Unforgiven the WCW Champion! [crowd cheers] But tonight is a very special night as well. You see, tonight will mark the first time, FIRST TIME, The Rock will defend his WCW title against Rob Van Dam. But that's not the only reason why tonight is a very special night. You see, on this night, 25 years ago, from the testicles of Vince McMahon himself, came something so terrifying! So horrifying, it sends chills up and down men's bodies all over the world! Tonight marks the birth of one Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. And you know, Stephanie, a word of warning. The Rock knows that you like to get involved in all The Alliance matches. So if you decide to get involved in The Rock's match tonight, Stephanie, The Rock - [The Rock looks off-screen for several seconds as the crowd cheers] Stephanie if you decide to get involved in The Rock's match tonight, then just like the doctor did 25 years ago when he held your little baby body up and wiped all the afterbirth goo from your body, The Rock will take the back of the people's hand and slap that million dollar candy ass! [crowd cheers] But you see, Stephanie, don't get The Rock wrong, The Rock is happy it's your birthday. As a matter of fact, The Rock wants to help you celebrate this very joyous occasion. So Stephanie, allow The Rock to sing you a very special birthday song. [singsong] Happy Birthday to Steph, you're a hoe with big breasts, so take the night off from hooking, if you smell what The Rock is cooking!
The Rock [singing and playing his guitar]: ~Ever since the Rock came into town, everybody tried to bring him down, Canadians have no class, that's why they can kiss the People's ass.~
[suddenly the Hurricane appears before him. The Rock stops playing his guitar]
HThe Hurricane
Holy letdown! The Rock! You used to be an idol, an icon; loved by millions...and millions! And yet tonight, you come out, and you trash the people! What's up wit dat?
[The Rock removes his shades, looks the Hurricane up and down, clears his throat and sets his guitar aside]
The Rock
Who...in the green hell, are you? Oh, no you-no-no-no, don't answer that, [standing up] the Rock knows who you are! Oh yeah, the Rock knows exactly who you are! The green shirt, 'H' on your chest, green mask...why, you're the Hamburglar! Yeah, you're that cat that works for McDonald's! Go get me a cheeseburger, go get the Rock a cheeseburger, no ketchup! Ah-ah-ah, as a matter of fact, no-no, don't go nowhere! The Rock knows exactly who you are, yeah! Yeah, you're the resident superhero, the Hurricane! The Rock knows who you are, my man, yeah; don't you ever bust in the Rock's door like that again, you hear? Hey, but what's more importantly than that, let the Rock remind you of something: you ain't nothin'. You understand that? Every superhero can whip that ass, every single one of 'em! EVERY single one of 'em! Superman, Batman, Aquaman, oh yeah, Aquaman, that dude that talks to the fish, he'll whip that little candy ass, [snapping his fingers] just like that!
HThe Hurricane
Well, I know one superhero who I can definitely beat!
The Rock [grinning, to himself]: This is a joke. [to the Hurricane] Who?
HThe Hurricane
The Scorpion King!
The Rock
Oh, no you-! You, no-no-no - there is no WAY you can beat the Scorpion King, you don't-!
HThe Hurricane
Brendan Fraser beat the Scorpion King!
The Rock
Brenda-da-da-da, he did not, that was a special effect for the movie, for crying - the Scorpion King is the most powerful-
The Hurricane [interrupting]: Let me ask you one question, Rock, just one more: can the Rock...fly?
The Rock
...you've been smokin' them funny cigarettes? The Rock gonna fly and whip that candy ass, the Rock-
HThe Hurricane
Well, good! Because tonight, the Hurricane is gonna send your candy ass flying over the top rope in that battle royal! ["flies" out of the room]
The Rock
...it was a special effect for the movie!
You abuse all your powers. Waste everybody's time.
You dress like a hooker... not the expensive kind.
So get your ass to the airport, take a one-way flight,
Because biatch, you look horrible tonight.
I said biatch, you look horrible tonight.
VGVickie Guerrero
Are you kidding me?!?! How dare you do that to me?! How dare you?!?
The Rock
Hold on Vickie, don't go anywhere, cause we wanna sing you out. We'll sing goodbye properly [audience joins in] "We said biatch, you look horrible tonight." [Vickie slowly walks out] Houston, Texas, that is one horrible-looking beeyatch.
WWE Raw · 371 quotes
