Steve AustinYou gonna get me a piece of equipment that works, son, or do I have to whip your ass? Bret Hart, you can sit there and bellyache and complain with the best of them, son. Ever since you came back, you ain't done nothing but cry! You sit there and talk about how Vince screwed you, how everybody screwed you, how I screwed you. The bottom line is, son, when the going gets tough, the Harts get going back home! Knock it off! Go on back to Canada, son, because the only person you can possibly beat is your wrinkled up old man in his little old basement. You talk about being jerked around, I've been jerked around for seven years, and then I get here. I'm supposed to face Sycho Sid tonight and some guy, a 350-pound buffoon that calls himself Gorilla Monsoon the commissioner says, "No, no. Sycho Sid is at home with a concussion." Sycho Sid may be at home with a concussion and an ice pack on his head, but he's also got a yellow stripe running right down the middle of his back. As far as Gorilla Monsoon goes, I got a big bunch of bananas and I can tell you where to stick each and every one of them. You want me to face The Undertaker, you can bring his dead ass out here, because I threw him over the top rope last night, and I'll do the exact same thing right now, so bring him out, I got something for him!
[After stunning Mankind and Goldust, Steve Austin puts on JR's headset.]
Steve Austin
Oh hell yeah! No more Mr. Nice Guy until after this Rumble! Jim, someone told me the other day at the airport, "Steve, if you think you can win the Rumble, give me a hell yeah!" And I gave a "OH HELLLLL YEAHHHHH!"
[Austin gets his phone call after being arrested earlier]
Stone Cold Steve Austin
[patched to JR in the arena] Jesus Christ, this is Stone Cold Steve Austin. I get one phone call when you get locked up in jail and I'm sure Vince McMahon thought I was gonna call a lawyer? ehhehehh!!! That ain't gonna happen! I want you to tell Vince McMahon firsthand, I think he's a sorry, sorry son-of-a-bitch, and the last time I checked, the last time I checked, when you give someone the Stone Cold Stunner, it ain't punishable by the death penalty, so that means, Vince McMahon's ass belongs to Stone Cold Steve Austin, and next week on RAW IS WAR, he's gonna find out just how pissed off Stone Cold Steve Austin is and I can guarantee you one thing, it ain't gonna be a very fun night for Vince McMahon next Monday night and if that don't work, I'll pay his ass a house call just like I've done in the past. Vince McMahon will find out, Austin 3:16 say "I just whipped your ass," and that's what's gonna happen!
[Vince is showing footage of the Final Four where Stone Cold Steve Austin inadvertently helped Bret Hart win the WWF Title, and later where he hit Bret with a steel chair, causing Sycho Sid to win the title the next night.]
Your response? Do you show any remorse, whatsoever, for your actions?
Steve Austin
The only remorse I got is that I didn't hit him harder with that steel chair! Bret Hart runs around talkin' about everybody's screwin' him. Hell, for the past seven years, I've been screwed, and it's the same old song! How come when Shawn Michaels hurts his knee, you make a video out of him? How come when Shawn Michaels gets sick, you tell the world that he's got the FLU?! Well, when I went to the Final Four, I was sick as a dog, and I had a blown out knee! Let me ask you a question: How many one-legged people can go 25 minutes with 3 of the top wrestlers in the world? NONE! Stone Cold Steve Austin went out there, and did just that! And I ain't making fun of no one-legged people, I'm sittin' here just tryin' to make a point. As far as I'm concerned, I truly am the World Wrestling Federation Champion, and can't nobody tell me different! Not you, or ANYBODY! As far as the Submission Match, it's a buncha bull! Bret Hart, he's supposed to be the big technician, the Sharpshooter. BIG DEAL! I don't know a whole lotta couple of submission moves, but it doesn't matter, because I'll beat the hell outta Bret Hart! And as far as Ken Shamrock says on TV the other day; "Oh, I don't know. Bret Hart's the better technician, but Stone Cold ain't got no quit in him." Well, you hit the nail right on the head, son, because I ain't got no quit in me at all! And you can bet your bottom dollar that Stone Cold ain't gonna look at the referee and say "I quit! I submit! I've had too much!" There ain't NOBODY... there ain't NOBODY in wrestling who can make me QUIT! And that's the bottom line, 'cuz Stone Cold SAYS SO!
Why of all this... why are you so bitter? Why this bitterness?!
Steve Austin
You treat me like a dog, and you expect me to SMILE? You remind me of a jackass!
Steve Austin
Conspiracy my ass Bret! All you want to do anytime you go in the ring is cry like a baby! I tried to go out there and help you and you threw it all away because you're a loser! It could have been you and me for the championship at WrestleMania, but you blew the whole damn thing because you're a loser! At WrestleMania, you will quit and one of these days when it's you and me for the title, you're looking at the next champ. AND THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!
[As Austin begins saying "At WrestleMania,...] You know why they call you Stone Cold? Because your stones are so cold, you won't come out here and step in the ring with me myself! You always got to jump me from behind! You haven't got the guts to come out here! COME ON!! Everybody knows whether it's Sycho Sid, [Sid comes out] If you think for one second that that belt belongs to you, you are wrong! It is my belt. You know it, I know it and everybody in this building knows it!
SSid
I don't know shit, crybaby!
[after Stone Cold Steve Austin defeats Hunter Hearst Helmsley thanks to interference from Mankind, whom Helmsley hit in the head with a steel chair. Austin grabs a microphone]
I hope he doesn’t say anything to the Canadians.
Steve Austin
Get your ass up, you long-haired freak!
MMcMahon
He’s talking - he’s talking to, to Mankind.
AAustin
There ain’t no way one chair can keep your ass down, get in the ring! [Mankind crawls into the ring] You come out here every week, saying “Pick me, Steve! Pick me, Steve!”. I’ll lay it on the line for you, you piece of trash: I don’t like you one bit! But I’ll damn sure go to war with you, if that’s what you want. All you gotta do is shake my hand, and we’re a tag team.
Well, I guess the man with the personality of a rattlesnake is softening a little bit.
Finally Mankind gets what he wants!
All Mankind ever wanted was to be accepted.
[Mankind outstretches his arms]
He don’t want a handshake, he wants a hug!
[Mankind and Austin share a big hug]
MMcMahon
I can’t believe it. Another moment in the WWF. Mankind, now a partner - [suddenly Austin gives Mankind the Stone Cold Stunner] - oh!
No! No! Not the Stunner! Damn him!
AAustin
DTA, you stupid piece of trash! Don’t ever trust nobody! You ain’t gonna be my partner, never, ‘cause you’re a long-haired freak, and you suck! [drops the microphone and raises his arms for the crowd]
MMcMahon
My! Can’t believe that!
[Austin leaves the ring and walks up the ramp to the cheers of the crowd]
Well, if you’d like to have a pet rattlesnake, I’ll give you Austin’s phone number!
MMcMahon
Thank you, no. This capacity crowd-
Mankind [grabbing the microphone]: Austin! Austin!! I was just looking for a little bit of respect. I was looking for a friend, and you’ve ruined that all!!
Austin [from the top of the entrance ramp, grinning]: Damn right!
So it’s become very apparent, that drastic measures will be taken! Because, next week, well, I’m going to have to do something I never thought I’d do again. [Austin leaves] And it will become very obvious that the World Wrestling Federation will never be the same! Steve Austin, you will never be the same! And without a doubt next week, Mankind...will NEVER BE THE SAME!!! [whimpers]
[Before the police arrest Austin, Vince comes into the ring]
What’s the matter with you?! Get ahold of yourself!
[To the police] Just give me a minute. Just give me a minute! [To Austin] What is the matter with you? You had to forfeit the Intercontinental title, the Tag Team title, of course everybody can understand why you’re upset. I can understand you being upset not being able to compete, I can understand that. But don’t break the law!
He already did...look at this!
Stone Cold's not gonna win this fight with New York City's finest.
Don't you understand? Don’t you understand why you’re not allowed to compete? Can’t you get that through your head? Don’t you know why? Don’t you know that you’re not physically able to compete? Your doctors say you’re not ready. If you compete, you could injure yourself for good! You could wind up paralyzed! And the WWF is not gonna stand by and let you do that to yourself. These people don’t want you to wind up in a wheelchair! They wanna see you compete. Everybody wants to see you compete. But in due time, Steve. In due time. [Austin looks at his watch]
Listen to McMahon, get the violins.
He's telling the truth. Makes all the sense in the world.
[indicating the cops] He'd better be talking to those guys over there. I say put him in the slammer!
Listen, don’t you know people care? In the World Wrestling Federation, we care. They care, they care about you, that’s all it is. And you just gotta go with it. In other words, you simply, you gotta work within the system. That’s all you gotta do, is just work within the system.
Steve Austin
You know as well as I do that this is what I do for a livin’. This is all that I do, and can’t nobody tell I ain’t the best in the damn world. Don’t even say nothin’. Don’t say nothin’. You sit here and tell me to work within the system. You ain’t the one sittin’ on your ass in the house like I am. But if that’s what it takes to make you or the World Wrestling Federation happy, hell, I feel like Cool Hand Luke. I’ll work within your stupid little system.
That's all that these people a—
Steve Austin
I appreciate the fact that you and the World Wrestling Federation care. And I also appreciate the fact...that, hell, you can kiss my ass!
[Austin kicks McMahon in the gut and Stuns him]
Put him in jail! Put him in jail right now!
NNurse
[to Mr. McMahon] It looks just fine to me. [to a doctor] How about you, doctor?
Steve Austin
[disguising as a doctor] I'll take it from here, nurse.
[Austin attacks Vince McMahon.]
MMcMahon
Get him off me! Get him off me!!
AAustin
[mumbles as he strips off Vince's shirt] How about your foot? [attacks Vince McMahon's injured ankle, on a cast at the foot of the bed. McMahon shrieks in pain] What do you think about that?
[Austin slams Vince McMahon with a bedpan, and he falls off the bed]
AAustin
Calling Dr. Austin--Get up, you piece of trash. Get up, you piece of sh- [manhandles Vince back to bed] Calling Dr Austin we got a emergency!
AAustin
[sets up defibrillator] Everybody clear [shocks Vince and stoomps on him on the floor]
MMcMahon
[as Austin bends him over the bed and he gets an enema-like device connected to an IV drip] No! No please no!! No, help me, please!
AAustin
I've always known you were full of shit, Vince. You just bow down. This is gonna hurt you more than it'll hurt me! [kayfabe jams device up Vince's butt. Vince screams loudly] You piece of trash!
Stone Cold, what the hell are you doing? A cement truck?
Steve Austin
You heard it. I've got an open invitation, so I don't know what you're worked up about. But what I will tell you, if I wanted to get that one-legged bastard, Vince McMahon, and tell him to get his ass out here, because what I'm going to do might create a bit of interest in the McMahon side of the family. Now get your ass out here because I've got some work to do and I want to check my equipment out.
[Vince McMahon appears with his lawyers, Sgt Slaughter and the stooges plus Big Boss Man]
Against, against my volition, Stone Cold Steve Austin is here in this arena, tonight. Not only do I hold Stone Cold Steve Austin responsible for every single, reprehensible act he committed against me, I want all of you people to know, that I hold [points to audience] each and every one of you responsible as well! My God, what's the matter with you people? I've lost all faith in humanity! Where the hell are your values? Where are your morals!? Whatever happened to the Good Samaritan? Where were you in my hour of need? I'll tell you where you were: you were cheering for every act of humiliation Austin committed against me! You savored every violation, every liberty that Austin took against me, but what you enjoyed the most was when Austin forced me to go to the ring. He made me get down on my knees, he made me beg! He made me... [saddened] he made me cry! He made me urinate myself! [angry] And where were you? Where were any of you? No one came to my aid. [to stooges] Not you, Brisco! Not you Patterson, or the Commissioner, no one. My ankle has been reinjured, I've ruined a perfectly good Armani suit. I hurt all over. But most of all, my feelings have been hurt. They have been crushed, but despite the injury, the insult Austin, after the injury I will never ever forgive you for! That wasn't a letter of introduction you jammed down in my coat pocket oh no, that was a legal document Austin and you know damn well then it was a legal document, and with this battery of attorneys I have behind me, Austin, I will fight you. I will fight you in court if I can, hell I'll fight you all the way to the Supreme Court! Austin, before you make your next move, you better take stock in what I say.
Steve Austin
[appears on TitanTron] Well speaking of stock, here am I. I've been stocking Pampers diapers, in case the bastard pisses all over himself! You know what I mean!
[Shane McMahon appears as Vince fumes at Austin being employed in the WWF with a new contract and ignores his calls to join him on the stage]
I don't listen to you anymore. I am an officer, more importantly, a stockholder of this company, and what you did to Stone Cold Steve Austin was wrong, Dad. You were wrong.
[to the stooges] He's just a kid, he's just a kid!
I just wanted to tell you personally that it was me. It was me, Dad, that hired Stone Cold back. Dad, it was me!... Hey, I guess I finally have your attention now, don't I? After 28 years, I FINALLY have your attention. I've seen superstars come, and I've seen superstars go, and why, Dad, why? Because it's always been about your ego! You said it yourself: no one's bigger than Vince McMahon, oh no! All my life, people have asked me, 'Boy, what's it like to be Vince McMahon's son? Wow, isn't that great?' And I have lied year after year after year... [gets more emotional] to protect you, to protect our family name. Well, the lying stops now! I'm tired of it!... You never cared about me! Everything—I couldn't do anything right for you. Nothing is ever right. My grades in school were never good enough for you.
[in tears] Yes they were!
My athletic accomplishments were never good enough for you. My business deals—no matter how much money I made you—was never good enough for YOU! The only thing I ever wanted from you, the only thing I ever wanted, is for you to be proud of me. OF ME! But I finally figured it out: That's never ever gonna happen, because it's never been about me, it's been about you. YOU, DAD! [Vince closes his eyes and grimaces because Shane struck a raw nerve] It's always about perception. Perception. Ever since, I'm always known as Vince's boy. 'How does Vince's boy make him look?' It wasn't about me, it was about how I made you look, that perception, at your big corporate parties.
[saddened] You're my son—
Yeah, I'm your son, but I'm not your little boy anymore. I'm a man and I stand in this ring as a man. I'm no longer your boy, Dad. I'm proud of who I am. I am proud of the person I have become. My name is Shane McMahon, and for 28 years—for 28 years I've finally built up enough courage to face you here today, to stand up to YOU! I guess, now you have something to be proud of me about, don't you Dad? Because I finally stood up to you and I had the BRASS to do it!... Isn't it ironic? I guess, I'm just like you after all, isn't that right, Dad?!? [tosses mic back to Austin as Vince rebuffs Pat Patterson trying to comfort him]
Steve Austin
If you think Vince got what he had comin', gimme a hell yeah.
[Austin comes to ring with everyone's cheer]
Steve Austin
For the last few months, here in the World Wrestling Federation, with the title or without, Vince McMahon has seen fit to throw everything that he can at Stone Cold Steve Austin and somehow I've always managed to scrape by. That's all fine and well, but six days from now at Rock Bottom in a Buried Alive match, in my opinion, the stakes are stacked higher than they've ever been for Stone Cold Steve Austin. Undertaker, you come out here, talk about sacrificing me, about wanting my soul, you hit me in the head with a shovel, you tried to bury me, you tried to embalm me and none of that worked... in the Ministry of Stone Cold Steve Austin, at Rock Bottom, you can bet your ass that you can expect no mercy from Stone Cold Steve Austin, and that's all I got to say about that!
[Lights get closed and Undertaker's theme song plays as a TX symbol appears in front of the screen]
[voiceover] Austin, we've traveled down the highway to hell, and our journey has enlightened us on a few matters. One, you're helpless against my Ministry, and the other is I can take your rotting soul any time I wish. Tonight, our journey stops in your purgatory, where you will remain until Rock Bottom, and on that night boy, I will sacrifice you to the Ministry of Darkness and let the entire world watch you get buried alive and BURN IN HELL!
[The symbol gets burned by a storm, as Austin is a little scared]
WWE Raw · 371 quotes
