Edge quotes from WWE Raw

Edge

Billy (Gunn), since you're not really doing anything lately, I was wondering if you could do me a favor. If, in two years' time at the King of the Ring, I'm not defending a title or even in a match, and my very special assignment is to go to WWF New York and eat a meatball sandwich, then please just shoot me in the head.

Edge

It's really confusing. I don't understand things like this, and I don't know if I ever will.

Edge

You have tried to finish me over and over again, but I always come back! Even if it takes me nine years, I come back! And I got to come back in Edmonton, in my country! You see, I don't quit. So, Finn, I'm gonna challenge you… at Extreme Rules. For the first time ever, Edge vs Finn Bálor… in an "I Quit" match!

Kurt Angle

I have a little story I'd like to tell. And Stone Cold Steve Austin, I hope you're listening. There was once a group of extraordinarily talented guys, who had a chance to make history. Had a chance to win it all. But it all got put in jeopardy due to infighting, backstabbing, and lack of leadership. What was once a group that had everything, became now, a bunch of losers with nothing. Of course I'm talking about the 2001 Boston Red Sox. Oh it's true!

Paul Heyman

Excellent point.

Angle

And Austin, when you stunned me last week on SmackDown!, it was the same as Pedro Martinez and Nomar refusing to play with their so-called "injuries". [crowd boos] And this Sunday, The Alliance has the chance to win it all at Survivor Series. And Austin, we better, because when the Boston Red Sox loses each year like they do, big deal! Because they always have next year to screw it up again! Well Austin, there is no next year for us. There is no tomorrow. If we don't win this Sunday, it's over! And I'm not ready for my hall of fame career to end. So Austin, I want you to come out here right now, [to a fan] Shut up! I want you to come out here right now and I want you to apologize for stunning me last week! And I'm not going anywhere until you do.

Jim Ross

Kurt Angle calling out Stone Cold Steve Austin, another member of Team Alliance. [Edge's music hits] Wait a minute, that's not Stone Cold's music, Paul.

Heyman

No, Stone Cold hates Rob Zombie. [Edge comes out]

Ross

Here comes Edge. Edge, not Stone Cold.

Heyman

What the hell is Edge doing here?

Ross

I have no earthly idea. Apparently we're about to find out. It was Angle who was wanting Austin out here, demanding an apology. Instead, here's Edge.

Edge

I'm not Austin, and I'm definitely not here to apologize. Kurt, I'm here to tell you one thing. You're a selfish bastard! [crowd cheers]

Ross

Wow.

Edge

You had it all. You had the respect and support of all of these people, your peers, and this entire country. And you threw that all away because deep down inside, you're a red, white and blue, but most importantly, yellow coward!

Angle

What the hell are you talking about?!

Edge

Oh you know what I'm talking about! And on behalf of the entire WWF locker room, which you abandoned, I wanna challenge you for that U.S. title. Not tomorrow, not later on tonight, but right now.

Ross

Edge has thrown down the gauntlet.

Angle

Hold on a second! You want a title shot from me right now? I taught you everything you know, you ungrateful snot-nosed bastard! If you want this title, [puts the WCW United States Championship down] you come get it.

Jonathan Coachman

Well Edge, first of all, congratulations on defeating William Regal last night at Vengeance. And if you don't mind me saying, you totally reeked of awesomeness.

Edge

Thanks Coach, but I can't take anything away from Regal. He's tough, and he brought it last night. He almost escaped with my Intercontinental Championship. But you know what? He didn't. And I have a message for Mr. William Regal. [mock English accent] You don't have one of these to hold up your trousers, do ya? Have you kissed any bums lately? You bum kisser! You cheeky monkey! [makes kissing sounds, then William Regal knocks Edge out from behind]

Jim Ross

Oh wait! Regal, God!

Not so bloody funny now, are you?

Ross

With the brass knucks! Regal just cheap shotted Edge with the brass knucks!

Jerry Lawler

Edge is out cold!

Steve Austin

What? What? What? What? Y2J is the undisputed champion? Y2J was declared the winner at Vengeance? Vince McMahon and Booker T screws Stone Cold? Vince and Booker T screws Stone Cold? I said Vince McMahon and Booker T screws Stone Cold? After last night, I sat there and I thought about it and I said, "Stone Cold, there's no use in sitting there crying, whining, pissing, moaning." So I asked myself, I said, "Stone Cold, do you want Y2J or do you want Booker T?" So while I was trying to make that decision, I drove over to the Sonic Drive-In, ordered a jalapeno burger, a chicken-fried steak sandwich, a chili cheese dog with extra onions, french fries, tater tots, washed it down with one beer, two beers, three beers, a shot of whiskey, a margarita, and a Bloody Mary, and I said, "Stone Cold, why have one when you can have them both?" Booker T, you show up tonight with Vince McMahon and you got security guards. You got your guard dogs. You got your pepper spray. So you can sit up there in your stupid little skybox and you can watch Stone Cold Steve Austin kick the crap out of Y2J in a steel cage. Y2J, you said you're calling Stone Cold a little trooper? Tonight, Stone Cold Steve Austin, I ain't gonna be no little trooper, and since we're right here in Anaheim, California, Hollywood is right there in the road. So tonight, Chris Jericho, Stone Cold Steve Austin is gonna make you a star. No, he's gonna make you a superstar. No, just like you said, he's gonna make you a super-duper star because you're gonna get the starring role in the movie I'm directing, and the name of that movie is, "My Name is Chris Jericho, and I'm Getting My Ass Whipped in a Steel Cage." And when it's all said and done, Chris Jericho, Stone Cold Steve Austin is gonna take his undisputed championships and walk out of this ring. And that's the bottom line because Stone Cold said so.

Todd Grisham

Randy Orton, tonight is obviously one of the biggest nights of your career. For the first time in over seven months, you're coming off an Intercontinental Championship loss. How do you regain your --

Randy Orton

Whoa whoa, hold on just a second! Do you know who you're talking to? I am Randy Orton. Okay, still a member of Evolution. Still the Legend Killer. You wanna talk about losses, Todd? Have a look at the back of my T-shirt. [turns around]

Grisham

That, that's pretty impressive.

Orton

Well hell yeah, it's impressive! Foley, Stone Cold, HBK, they're all on there baby! I humiliated them all, okay? And the lucky win Edge had, that's all it was was luck. To me, Edge is a fluke. Okay? His first Intercontinental title reign was one day. Mine lasted seven entire months. Okay, tonight I'm gonna get my title back. I'm gonna do it in the middle of that ring, and I'm gonna prove to everybody -- [notices Edge standing by him] Can I help you?

Edge

No. But I did think you needed to know something. You see, I didn't come back after being out for over a year just to be a statistic on a Randy Orton T-shirt. I mean, it's a nice little T-shirt you got there. But uh, I've got something better to wear. [holds the Intercontinental Championship] I've got you figured out, Randy. I got you all figured out. You have some serious self-confidence issues. Yeah, I mean, you're like a little kid. You always need approval, but I get it. I feel your pain, Randy. You see, I'd have some confidence issues if my dad made his living being "Rowdy" Roddy Piper's personal bitch! And just think, if old Cowboy Bob had worn a condom instead of a cast all those years, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. See you in the ring, Randy.

Orton

Yeah, yeah, okay, say your piece. Sit, talk and run, Edge. That's right. That's right, tonight, when I get my title back, then you'll be my bitch.

Shawn Michaels

You ready?

Chris Benoit

Oh yeah.

Michaels

Look you know I've always tried to shoot straight with you. You and I, we're out there together again tonight, familiar waters for us. And I want you to know and I'm gonna be honest. Tonight, I'm gonna do what's best for me.

Benoit

What's - what's best for you? Sh - Shawn, what do you mean by that?

Michaels

Look, I'm gonna go out there tonight and I'm gonna do what I always do. Show the entire world why I'm the showstopper. I wanna make sure, come Taboo Tuesday, that I leave absolutely no doubt in anybody's mind that HBK should be the man they vote for to face Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship.

Benoit

Well just so you know, I'm not gonna sit back and let you steal the spotlight. All right? You want a piece of Triple H, you're gonna have to pry me off of him, because tonight, I'm gonna show all the people what the Crippler can do, and come Taboo Tuesday, by making Triple H tap out in the middle of the ring. [Edge approaches Michaels and Benoit]

Michaels

Excuse me, you mind? We're - we're having a conversation.

Edge

Yeah yeah I noticed that. You know, thank you for including me in your discussion.

Michaels

Whoa whoa, now if I remember correctly, he and I, we're not really worthy of uh, getting another title shot against Triple H. I mean, that is what you said last week, wasn't it?

Edge

Yeah it is what I said. And I stand by it. You see, both of you, you've had your shots against Triple H. You've had your chances at the World title over and over and over again. But I haven't. I deserve the shot against Triple H at Taboo Tuesday. And tonight, I'm gonna prove it. See you out there boys.

Jim Ross

This is gonna get interesting.

Jim Ross

Well ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of all of us here at the WWE want to thank everyone for making Taboo Tuesday such a phenomenal success. In all the years I've had the privilege of broadcasting for you, I've never had as much fun and it was all because of your votes. Now ladies and gentlemen, we had hoped to have Edge here live tonight. Unfortunately he has refused to appear here in Des Moines live. However, he is joining us via satellite. [Edge appears on the Titantron] And Edge, I, I think the question is, is rather obvious. Would you mind explaining to our worldwide audience and the great folks here in Des Moines, Iowa, just exactly, well, how do you justify your actions at Taboo Tuesday?

Edge

Justify? That title was not Shawn Michaels' to win. That title was mine to win. Mine. You know, do I need to spell it out? Do I need to spell it out for you and all the people once again? Well I will. But it's for the last time. Here's the laundry list. I defeated Triple H in a tag team match two weeks before Taboo Tuesday. I defeated Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels in a triple threat match the night before Taboo Tuesday. But I still didn't get voted in. Now once again, I got taken for granted and I thought about it, I thought, "Why is that?" Is it the sympathy factor? "Oh, poor Shawn Michaels. You're breaking my heart, Heartbreak Kid! Your poor knee." But you wanna talk about injuries? You wanna talk about personal hells? I came back after a year off because of a broken neck! I fought through it, I came back and what happened? I broke my hand. I fought through that! My foot, my groin, YOU NAME IT, I've done it! And I came back. Then what happened when I come back? Oh let's see, I go to my hometown of Toronto at SummerSlam, and the people boo me out of the building. Once again, taking me for granted. Well I'm sick of it, I'm fed up. So because of six percent, JR, six percent, my life changed. My life completely changed because of six tiny little percent. You know, you may ask yourself, why am I not there tonight? People take me for granted. They could have had me there tonight. I could have been standing in the middle of that ring holding the World Heavyweight Championship above my head, and they would've seen me. But I figured it out. They don't deserve to see me. And they'll see me back on Raw when I'm damn good and ready.

Jim Ross

What do you think about Mr. McMahon rehiring Matt Hardy?

Edge

JR, what do I think about Vince McMahon's decision, Mr. McMahon's decision to rehire Matt Hardy? You know what? I think it's genius. Yeah. It's a moneymaking match. Here's a little known fact, though. You see, I actually went to Vince and I asked him to rehire Matt. Yeah. You see, because, with what I want to do to Matt Hardy, if I did that on the streets, what I'm gonna do at SummerSlam, I'd be in jail. You see, at SummerSlam, you're gonna witness legalized assault. Which is why I resent us being sequestered into this dressing room. You know, Matt Hardy has been re-signed to Raw and the lunatic is running around. Well, he's the one out of control, not me. But that's fine, that's cool, and Eric Bischoff wants to put security guards on the door, to protect us. We don't need the protection, he does! So I'm gonna ask them to leave, I want them to go. Yeah. I want them to get out of here, because Matt, I'm begging, I'm PLEADING, I want you to come in here. Come into the dressing room, come on BARGING in. Because you know what'll happen? You'll probably [mockingly] break down and have yourself a little cry, won't you Matt?

Edge

Randy, thanks for - thanks for coming on the show, and...I'll get straight to the point. See, you've impressed me. You impressed me in 2004 when you became the youngest champion in WWE history. But, but since then, you've done absolutely nothing.

Randy Orton

[standing up from his seat, shocked] Excuse me?

Randy

You got two seconds to come up with a point...or I'm gonna drop you right now.

Jerry "The King" Lawler

I knew it.

Edge

Okay. Okay. Okay, Randy, I have a point: you see, every - every misstep, every bump in the road since you became champion, it-it can be traced back to one single, solitary moment. Do you remember?, because if you don't, I'm gonna remind you right now. [pointing at the Titantron] Roll the footage. [footage shown of Orton in 2004 celebrating his World Heavyweight Championship, only for Triple H and the rest of Evolution to turn on him as Triple H starts attacking him] Do you remember that, Randy? Do you remember, you were on top of the world, you had it ALL!...but Triple H's selfishness cost you everything, everything! I know you tried to pull it all back together, but let's face it, the facts are the facts! So you're probably asking yourself why, why would I care? And normally, I wouldn't. But these things have a, a tendency to repeat themselves. Jealousy rears its ugly head again, because, just last week, there was another travesty of justice. So once again, [gesturing to the Titantron] let's roll the footage. [footage from the previous week on Raw when D-Generation X interfered in Edge's steel cage match against John Cena for the WWE Championship, with Shawn Michaels' Sweet Chin Music to Trevor Murdoch, causing Murdoch to inadvertently slam the cage door on Edge's head, being the main turning point] Shawn Michaels cost me the WWE Championship! The same man who, who taught Triple H every self-serving, power-hungry move he's ever known! And-and what did DX do when they came out here earlier? They...they made some cute little jokes. Because Randy, they think I'm a joke, they think you're a joke. And they're gonna continue to do that, until someone takes a stand. You see, Randy, I know you're not a joke, and I'm not a joke. The reason I called you out here tonight...is because I think those people that should take a stand...I think it's you, and me. We should own this show! We should have all the championships! We are the present and future of this industry, not some tired old act from a decade ago! So I tell you what, Randy, it's really simple: you can get mad at the things, the-the true things I said earlier and, you can fight me right now...or...you can join me. Join me and together we can take a stand against DX. We can beat DX! Take back our championships! Take back our lives, our careers! So the ball's in your court. It's up to you.

Randy

DX...as far as you running this show anymore is concerned, I've got two words for ya: it's over! [shakes Edge's hand and the two grin at one another]

Edge

Welcome to a very special edition of the Cutting Edge. Now as we all know, the third annual Money in the Bank ladder match takes place this Sunday at WrestleMania. I of course won the first Money in the Bank, cashed it in, and went on to become WWE Champion. Actually, I've won ladder matches at WrestleManias 16, 17, and 21. As a matter of fact, I've won more ladder matches than all of you combined. Add to the fact that I've never been beaten at WrestleMania. And what makes any of you think you have a shot this Sunday? And, and Matt, Matt I'll start with you. Because I'm shocked that you're even on WrestleMania. [Matt Hardy takes the microphone]

Oh I'm on WrestleMania. And I'm gonna be in your face. And you're not the only one with experience in ladder matches. I've won quite a few of these myself. And at WrestleMania, I'm gonna beat you up bad. So bad that you're gonna be lying flat on your back. Much like your ex-girlfriend.

Edge

Okay, okay, that's it, you're done speaking! And I can do that because this is my show! Now King Bookah, hopefully, hopefully you have something intelligent to say.

Indeed. Indeed I do. Now I realize, some of you have won championships in the past. But none, none of you have reigned, reigned successfully as King Booker! Now, the rest of you lowly, lowly peasants, [Finlay takes the microphone]

Peasants?! I am sick of this verbal diarrhea! I feel like I'm on here among a bunch of old women! You didn't like that, chisel-chin? You feelin' froggy? Go ahead and jump! [Randy Orton takes the microphone]

Randy Orton

Fit, Fit, take it easy now, don't hurt Edge's feelings! Don't hurt Edge's feelings, Fit, you see, 'cause he might use that as an excuse to duck out of this match! Just like you've ducked out of every match you'd been scheduled to wrestle in for the past month.

Edge

Now, now, Randy, you know that's not true, okay? [Mr. Kennedy takes the microphone]

Oh oh no, no. That is true. No it it, it's pretty obvious to me, it's pretty obvious to everybody out here that you, you don't wanna fight tonight, do ya? You don't wanna fight, but you know what, you might as well just step aside. EVERYBODY here might as well step aside, because you're looking at the man who is gonna be Mr. Money in the Bank. You're looking at MR.... [Edge takes the microphone]

Edge

Okay, okay, very nice, very nice! Riveting stuff, repeat your name! Oh and that brings us, that brings us to Jeff Hardy. And Jeff I, I'd ask you for a comment but all you've really said for the last few months is, [does Jeff Hardy's signature entrance pose] Ha! So, so maybe I should close this one out for you, huh?

Hey man that's real funny. You know, this is my first WrestleMania in five long years. Therefore, I plan to do what I always do in ladder matches, and that's to STEAL THE ENTIRE SHOW! Even if it means going through my own brother. I'll do what it takes to climb that ladder, grab the briefcase, and win Money in the Bank.

Edge

Okay enough! Enough! [crowd chants "CM Punk"] Oh and last, but certainly not least, that brings us to Chicago's own, CM Punk! [crowd cheers loudly] Cheer it up. So you're straight edge, right? Your only addiction is competition, right? Well my addictions are sex, violence, and championship gold around my waist.

CM Punk

Edge, right now, the only thing it looks like you're addicted to, is running your mouth. [Edge shoves Punk, resulting in a brawl]

Edge

Well tonight folks, we have a first. Tonight, as my guest on the Cutting Edge, we have the Anonymous Raw GM. [the Anonymous Raw General Manager's laptop is in the ring] Now despite our acrimonious relationship, I actually do appreciate the GM agreeing to appear as a guest on my show. And I understand that this computer has been electronically transmitting this voice, so that's what it will continue to do, so as to keep this person's identity a secret. Now, with that being said, I think it's time to ask the first question. I, I need to ask you exactly, Raw GM, why are you such a spineless coward?

Why are you such a moron? I remain anonymous to protect my identity. If people knew who I really was, it would change everything.

Edge

Okay first of all, that's the worst voice ever. Se, [stammers] second of all, I thought, I thought you were Stone Cold Steve Austin, or or or, I thought you were The Rock, or maybe Shawn Michaels. Or Bob Barker. [stammers] Judging by your decision making, you're Lindsay Lohan after another bender. The only thing I know is, is that whoever you are, you are a big fat liar.

Seriously, Edge. You hurt my feelings. Why do you have to hate, yo? I try to make peace with you, but you clearly don't want that. You want a confrontation. Why? Why do you despise me so?

Edge

Why do you despise me?! Why do you keep interfering in my business? Why - why am I arguing with a computer? We've gone from Stone Cold stunning Mr. McMahon on Raw to Edge arguing with a computer. You know what? That's it. I'm just gonna go ask Chris Jericho exactly who you are.

Jericho is bluffing. He knows nothing. However, I know a lot of things. Like your opponent...right now. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Edge

Hahaha? I, I don't have an opponent tonight! You know what, I, I talk to people. I'm sick of talking to an overgrown Speak 'n' Spell. I'm outta here.

But wait. You do have an opponent tonight, Edge. I have scheduled a match right now between you and this man. [John Cena's music hits]