Stephanie McMahonOn behalf of the McMahon family, I would like to thank all of you for your letters, your phone calls and your emails. While your sympathy was sometimes surprising, you have no idea how much it meant to me and my family. My father wanted to leave this world the same way he lived it. In the biggest way possible. Which is why the McMahon family is inviting all of you to join us next week in a special three-hour celebration. Next week, superstars from Raw, SmackDown! and ECW will join us in celebration of my father, Mr. McMahon. Now some of you might feel that Mr. McMahon doesn't deserve a celebration. Mr. McMahon was not loved. He was not sympathetic, and he was not kind. But the man you know as Mr. McMahon is the only man I have ever known as my dad. And my dad is the most important person in this world. Was. And this Sunday's pay-per-view might be named Vengeance, but vengeance will be true the moment that my family finds out who did this to my dad. I love you dad! [walks out of the ring crying]
Stephanie McMahon
(being interviewed by Renee Young backstage afterwards about Brock Lesnar's actions) You know, Brock Lesnar will get his rematch when I say he gets his rematch but, Brock Lesnar, actually, I-I think I need to hit Brock Lesnar where it hurts. I don't think suspending him is enough. Actually, I think I'm gonna have to fine Brock Lesnar. I'm gonna have to fine him for all o-of the damage, all of the property damage, the emotional distress of these employees, you know. And if Brock Lesnar thinks for just one second that he can go back to MMA as he announced on SportsCenter, he just signed a contract with WWE. And you know what that means, Renee? That means I own that son of a bitch. (leaves)
[the Ministry of Darkness prepares Stephanie McMahon to be married to the Undertaker - even as she screams away and the Undertaker touches her]
Before the ceremony begins, I must address the McMahon family, I am not to blame for what is about to happen here. Vince, this rests upon your shoulders, because you did not live up to your end of the agreement. And Steve Austin, well I guess, showed his true colors as well. Paul, let the ceremony begin.
Dearly unbeloved, we gather here this evening to join Stephanie Marie McMahon, in the unholy wedlock with the Lord of Darkness. Tonight, Stephanie Marie McMahon will step from the light of this evil, cesspool, mortal world, into the sanctuary of eternal darkness. Keeping this in mind, will you, Stephanie Marie McMahon accept the purity of evil and take the Lord of Darkness as your master and your spouse?
Stephanie McMahon
No! NOOO!!!
[Ken Shamrock tries to get in but the Acolytes hold him down to be squashed by Viscera]
Lord of Darkness, is it your intent to accept Stephanie Marie McMahon, her body, her mind, her soul, and even her breath unto yourself, [Taker lightly reaches for her neck] and allow her to bear your offspring?
[the Big Show appears and breaks through the Acolytes and Viscera - but Undertaker gets Shamrock's baseball bat and hits him off the ring]
By the power vested in me by the Lord of Darkness, I now pronounce you as the Unholy Union of Darkness. You may now kiss your bride!
[Stone Cold runs to the ring and brawls Undertaker, then the Ministry try to attack Austin but he beats down all them]
[the McMahon-Helmsley Regime goes to the ring after Linda McMahon announces Stone Cold Steve Austin coming to Backlash]
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley
Unfair, mom? You wanna know what's unfair is you hopping on a little plane... [angry at Slut! chants] hopping on a little plane, thinkging you can come down to this ring, to the World Wrestling Federatiton and start making decisions on things you know nothing about!
SStephanie
In case you haven't forgotten the last we were in the ring together, mother, the McMahon-Helmsley Regime has no problem "slapping" people around, and hopefully you've noticed that the McMahon-Helmsley Regime is all about opportunity - so I'm gonna give you the opportunity to change your mind. Think about it, mother. What's your decision?
SStephanie
No. You won't change your mind. You're gonna have Stone Cold Steve Austin in the Rock's corner. Well then, I'm not gonna change my mind about what I have to do, but Mom, just remember, like you told me when I was a little girl, this is gonna hurt me a lot worse than it hurts you. [tries to slap Linda, but gets knocked down when Linda blocks it and slaps her instead]
[shocked at what she just did, tries to crouch down and help Stephanie] Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
SStephanie
[dismisses her] Get away from me!!
[Stephanie steps in to stop Kurt Angle, Edge and Christian, and Vince McMahon from beating down Commissioner Mick Foley]
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley
Stop! Stop it! Stop beating up on Mick Foley. Mick I hope you're alright because I got something that could change your life forever. I hold in my hand documents from the Board of Directors that could very well change the face of the WWF forever. These papers clearnly state that since my mother, Linda McMahon, the CEO of the World Wrestling Federation, has been deemed mentally incompetent that the Board of Directors has no other alternative than to grant full power and authority of the CEO's office... [looks at Foley] to [changes voice] my dad! [Vince's face regains color as Stephanie give her the papers] Congratulations, daddy! It's official!
That's my baby girl, huh! Sorry, Linda, if you're in the hospital watching, business is business and since I now have complete and total full authority over the World Wrestling Federation, that means Mr McMahon is back! So therefore, with the power that is invested in me, Vincent K McMahon, it is my duty to inform Mick Foley that his services are no longer required. [motions to Foley as he slumps in the corner] In other words, Mick Foley, you bleeding huck of adipose tissue, YOU'RE FIRED!!
[A distraught Foley stands up but Kurt Angle fires a chairshot at him. Vince shakes hands with Kurt Angle, Edge and Christian, and leaves with Stephanie, but remembers something at the stage]
Oh, oh, and uh, just one other thing. Mick, Mick Foley... Merry Christmas!
[The Alliance leaders are happy with Steve Austin walking out on Vince at the previous SmackDown! show]
Stephanie McMahon
I'm so excited for Booker T to rip off Chris Jericho's head tonight and again this Sunday, at Invasion!
I love her enthusiasm [to Shane McMahon] Shane, think about it. This Sunday at Invasion Inaugural Brawl, it's our five best against their five best and their very best, Stone Cold Steve Austin, ain't at his best anymore now, is he?
Now let's get down to out five best that we're in agreement. [counts on fingers] Booker T.
The Dudley Boyz, and Rhyno...
GORE! GORE! GORE! [Stephanie is surprised]
...will represent us this Sunday.
This Sunday, sports entertainment as we know it, the course of it, will be changed forever.
[Classy Freddie Blassie leaves with an assistant, but Shane and Stephanie McMahon waylay them]
Hey hold on a second, hold on a second, stay right there. You think what you said there had any impact at all?
Stephanie McMahon
Hey Freddie, you think that with Stone Cold Steve Austin just did out there, you think that had any impact?
You think the WWF has any impact at all, any impact at all this Sunday on ECW and WCW? The answer is NO!!
SStephanie
[laughs] But I tell you what will have a lot of impact. You see Freddie, because you and the WWF have a lot in common. You're both about to die!
[to assistant] Get him out of here. Go!
[HHH faces Stephanie and Chris Jericho over the married couple's allegedly poor sexual exploits]
You know, Steph, maybe it was not so much the Game that was short, maybe the field I was playing on was too damn big.
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley
[shocked as crowd pops] I don't know what you mean by that!
You don't know what I mean? Let me tell you what I mean.
SStephanie
[sees the crowd becoming more agitated] Shut up, all of you SHUT UP!!
Let me tell you what I mean, let me make it a little more clear for you. You see Steph, even a 747 looks small when you're flying it [points hand at Steph's hips] into the Grand Canyon!
Alright Daniel, congratulations. You got your own little Occupy Raw Movement. I am sure all of the other dirty little hippies and trolls that live under the bridge with you are very happy for you. And while I'm happy all of you can have a moment, now this is the part where reality comes crashing down on all of you. You all... that includes all of you have about 30 seconds to get out of our ring before we call security and have you all arrested. I'll give you to 30; talk amongst yourselves. [The Movement chants "NO!"] That's it, get out of your system, is that all you got?! Come on, I know the fat guy right up front does not have much more in him. I can see him sweatin', come on. Give it to me, chubby, come on. Aw, you petered out, didn't ya. That's too bad 'cause your 30 seconds of glory are up, you losers. SECURITY!
Wait a second, Hunter. You ask us to leave? What do you think if everybody here in this colosseum just walks out to the parking lot right now? We can set up our own ring and you can have Raw in front of an arena of empty chairs. What do you think about that, Hunter?
[to two security personnel] Security, throw these people out.
Uh-oh guys, here they come. Here they come, all two of them, all two of them.
[The two approach the Movement, then walk back up the ramp]
Stephanie McMahon
DO YOUR JOB! JUST CLEAR THAT RING! That's it. All of you have been manipulated by Daniel Bryan. But you're too blind to see, you're wrapped up in this power trip. Listen, power can go to your heads, okay? But it's false power, it's false pride, and Daniel Bryan is the wrong horse to back. You really think Daniel Bryan is worth it?!
You see, Stephanie, Hunter, this is the problem. You guys and people like you underestimate the power of these people. Stephanie, last week, you told everybody here that you own this ring, that you own this arena, that you own me, that you own these people. Guess what, YOU DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS! WE OWN THIS RING!
WWE Raw · 371 quotes
