Aaron Tyler quotes from Wonderfalls

Karen

Sharon, go talk to your father. You're his favorite.

Aaron

I thought I was his favorite.

Karen

We don't have favorites.

Aaron

Oh my God, that guy just blew his nose on the ground. I thought Canadians were supposed to be clean.

Jaye

Just don't make eye contact.

Aaron

If your portly chupacabra doesn’t emerge soon I’ll be forced to go home and work on my dissertation.

Jaye

I don’t call him that anymore. He might be of Mexican descent and I don’t want to be insensitive.

Aaron

What do you call him?

Jaye

Fat Pat. It was Fatsquatch but... [shrugs]

Aaron

There’s something out there and it’s laughing at us.

I don’t think your sister’s special lunch is an appropriate place for an existential crisis.

Aaron

It’s not an existential crisis.

Karen

You’re studying religion for God’s sake, you were bound to have one sooner or later.

Aaron

I’m not in existential crisis! Just the opposite. I was fine when existence had no meaning. Meaninglessness in a universe that has no meaning — that I get. But meaninglessness in a universe that has meaning... what does it mean?

Jaye

It doesn't mean anything.

Aaron

Did the cow creamer tell you that?

Karen

I’m throwing that creamer away the second we get home.

Aaron

I wanna see an engorged cloaca!

You can't. I told you, your powerful sexual chemistry is too distracting.

Aaron

I get that a lot, actually.

Mahandra

You're like a brother to me.

Aaron

So, I make love like a black man?

Mahandra

Not that kind of brother, you idiot!

Aaron

St. Paul was just a punk until he was blinded by the light, and Gandhi was just drinking and whoring it up with his friends until he heard the cry of his people.

Jaye

And Neo was just a geek until he swallowed that little red pill.