Bailey Quarters quotes from WKRP in Cincinnati

You know, my son speaks about you all the time.

Bailey

He does?

No, he doesn't, but he should. My son is a little bit of a jerk.

Jennifer

So there we are standing at my front door, and he says, "Jennifer, some women would feel obligated after flying to New Orleans on a private jet and a moonlight dinner on a Mississippi riverboat, but I prefer a challenge. Someone who's interested in me, and not my money."

Bailey

What'd you do?

Jennifer

Well, I wished him luck, kissed him on his bald spot and wheeled him to his car.

Herb

She threatened to set the whole city on fire by setting matches to my suit.

Bailey

Herb, did you order those petitions?

Herb

No. What do you think of that?

Bailey

Andy, do you have any matches?

Bailey

Well, we could play Strip Monopoly. You could give us your coat, Herb!

Herb

Huh?

Jennifer

That's fine. I'll take the coat.

Bailey

Guess which item of apparel comes next?

Jennifer

Whoo!

Herb

Is this what women's liberation is all about? Humiliation?

Bailey

No. We just heard you had great legs.

Herb

[smiles and starts to unbutton his coat] Who told you?

Bailey

Les.

Bailey

Have you noticed that you can't tell what color someone is over the phone?

Venus

I guess not.

Bailey

That's right! Stereotype thinking! I mean, when I heard Black Life Magazine, I was expecting him to be like "Hey, little momma, you tell the dude I'll be here at fo'." But he didn't. He sounded just like you!

Venus

What does she mean "just like me?" I'm black, I'm from the street, I can say "fo'!"

Johnny

That's right, Kingfish. You is, and you does. But the problem is, you sound neutral.

Venus

Neutral. You mean 'white.'

Johnny

Well, don't worry, pal. I've heard you say "upside your head," things like that. Don't worry, you can pass for black.

Venus

I don't want to "pass for black," I want to be black! What the hell am I saying?

Andy

[as Bailey is leaving] Bailey?

Bailey

Hm?

Andy

You ever do that again, you'll be the best-looking reporter on the unemployment line.

Bailey

Right.

Bailey

"Best-looking?"

Bailey

Ooh. [smiles and departs]

Bailey

You don't like parties? You don't like putting on a silly hat, hiding behind furniture, and generally stripping yourself of every shred of human dignity?

Johnny

Now that you put it that way, I do like that.

Johnny

Here's how we do it. We go into the supermarket. [to Bailey] You create a ruckus in the produce section. [to Venus] You grab the poster, slip it under your jacket, we're out the door!

Bailey

What kind of ruckus?

Johnny

I don't know, uh, something with mangoes.

Bailey

Mangoes?

Andy

[entering] Hey, Venus, don't worry about the posters; they'll be out of the supermarkets by tomorrow.

Venus

Thank goodness.

Bailey

Oh, too bad. I was just getting a mental picture of me and those mangoes.

Johnny

Yeah...?