Wizards of Waverly Place · Season 1
So that's where the fliers went.
Yes! Zombies are coming man! Don't worry, I already locked the doors. Nobody can get in, and we can't get out.
(mad at Max for being an idiot) Did you at least find the No Fear Ring? I could really use it right now.
Harper has it. That's why she's standing up to the zombies.
We're always one step ahead of them. (low fives Harper and leaves with her)
[Referring to their aunt] Well we're gonna have to find a way to get her back here so she can retake the test!
Well, the problem is nobody knows where she is!
Well we're gonna have to find her then!
[Stands up] I have a magnifying glass, will that help?
[Looks to his dad than back] She's not tiny!
You said she was an ant!
(about Kelbo) Yep, you're just like him.
Thank you!
That wasn't a compliment.
Thank you!
It was an insult.
Thank you!
(Holding nose) I hate living with wizards.
(making a prank call) Excuse me but is your refrigerator running?
Alex, I know it's you. I can see Kelbo's wand number on my caller ID.
Guys, she's on to us!
We forgot to dial pound, horse, unicorn!
What do we do?!
What we always do! Run! (pushes Max and Justin and runs)
[Alex and Max sitting on a couch watching a scary movie]
Frankenstein Vs. Snakes 3D is the best monsters versus snakes movie ever!
I think it's the best movie ever because we stole out of Justin's room.
(Looking at Franken-girl) SHE'S ALIVE! SHE'S ALIVE! SHE'S ALIVE!
(singing) I am singing this whole song to learn a spell.
Learn a spell.
This is the thing that Justin does so well.
Does so well.
When I'm in a jam and need to scram I cast a spell called Jackie Chan I'm singing this whole song and I learn spells. When I need something that's far away I cast a spell called (pauses and reads) "Grow legs and come my way."
It comes in handy if your lazy. Which you are and sometimes being your best friend you don't even care or thank me for the things like-
Harper!
(stops singing)
Is everything okay?
You mean because it didn't rhyme? I'll work on that.
I can't believe you would do something this stupid.
Alex, I think we all believe I can do something this stupid.
(licking a red substance that looks like blood from her hand)
Oh my gosh, she did it.
(gets a empty doughnut) The vampire took all of the jelly out of this doughnut!
And no weight gain because you're dead!
The jelly does kinda of look like blood.
Yeah, that's why vampires carry jelly doughnuts.
(laughs) You're awesome.
I know.
And I don't say that to any of my brother's girlfriends because they're all monsters. I mean there was a centaur, a werewolf.
Well I'm a vampire.
Yeah but you have normal feet.
That's true.
Okay, I have to ask you something. Why would somebody cool as you would be dating my brother?
Well I find that if you're a little cooler than your boyfriend, he'll never dump you!
Ohhhh!
Okay, now I gotta ask you something. When you turn into a bat where do your clothes go?
Well you're not really thinking about that when you're going (waves her arms) WHOOO! WHOO! WHOO!
You turned in your girlfriend into the Monster Hunter Council!
What? (laughs)
(walks in)
Oh no.
Hey! Who wants to see me empty a calzone?
You finally get a girlfriend with normal feet and you report her to the Monster Hunter Council?!
You smell like vanilla.
Thanks! I use it to disguise the smell of death and decay!
Wait, what?! What happens when they catch me?
Oh don't worry. They'll find out that you're a human impersonating a monster and they'll release you like a little fish....I think.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Wizards of Waverly Place pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
