Will & Grace quotes
0 total quotesJack: Well, look at you. You're like an icon to gay men.
Karen: Oh!
Jack: You've got the sass, the class, the ass.
Karen: Oh!
Jack: You've got the sass, the class, the ass.
Karen: [On the phone] Rosario. Hi, honey. Listen, I'm running a little late. Yeah, things are muy loco at the oficina. Mmm, listen, I'm gonna need you to feed the kids and read 'em something before bedtime... Well, I don't know, honey. Why don't you read them that book they love? "Green Eggs and I'm Hammered." No, Rosario, now why would I want to speak to them?
Karen: Gosh, I don't think I've ever been stressed out. I mean, why would I be? I got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze, and I got a killer rack! Good morning!
Grace: Oh, when you smile, you have the cutest little wrinkle right there!
Karen: Where? [runs to mirror]
Grace: Feel that? That's stress.
Grace: Oh, when you smile, you have the cutest little wrinkle right there!
Karen: Where? [runs to mirror]
Grace: Feel that? That's stress.
Karen: Grace, desperate times call for desperate measures. It's time to get your head out of the dumps and your legs in the air!
Karen: Honey, did you try Balthazar?
Grace: Karen, Steak & Brew are spitting at me through the phone. How would I get a table there?
Karen: Oh, Grace, I am your assistant. Now, I may not be a whiz at the...[points]
Grace: Computer.
Karen: Or know how to work the...[points]
Grace: Fax.
Karen: But, honey, I do know how to get where I need to be. Now hand me the--
Grace: Phone.
Karen: Well, honey, I would have gotten that one.
Grace: Karen, Steak & Brew are spitting at me through the phone. How would I get a table there?
Karen: Oh, Grace, I am your assistant. Now, I may not be a whiz at the...[points]
Grace: Computer.
Karen: Or know how to work the...[points]
Grace: Fax.
Karen: But, honey, I do know how to get where I need to be. Now hand me the--
Grace: Phone.
Karen: Well, honey, I would have gotten that one.
Karen: Honey, I can't go. I have a home, a husband and three beautiful stepchil -- No, wait. Two. Two beautiful stepchildren. Sorry. Yeah. Olivia and...
Jack: Mason?
Karen: Honey, I was getting there.
Jack: Mason?
Karen: Honey, I was getting there.
Karen: Stan had to take the kids down to Scarsdale to see their real mother. What was her name? Wait a minute, it'll come to me... "Stan, take the kids to see that bitch... Kathy!"
Season 2
Season 2
Karen: You know, marriage is... what? Marriage is... Marriage is, okay? What the hell, that's all you need to... Grace? Oh! Now she's gone. She's gone, and I'm sitting here talking to myself like a crazy person. Oh, my God, listen to me. I'm still doing it!
Will: First of all they'll give you a payment plan, which you won't follow. Then they'll garnish your wages, which you don't have. Then they'll take away everything you own... which would be your gym membership. Then... finally, they will put you in jail.
Jack: No, no, no. They can't put me in jail, 'cause since I never started paying my taxes, I can continue not paying them. I saw that on television.
Will: On what? The Delusional Channel?
Jack: No, no, no. They can't put me in jail, 'cause since I never started paying my taxes, I can continue not paying them. I saw that on television.
Will: On what? The Delusional Channel?
Will: What are you talking about? You're not a performer.
Jack: I am now. Me, a piano and a spotlight. I'm calling it "Just Jack." Here's my flyer. "Just Jack." One night only. "Just Jack."
Will: Why one night? Oh, it's open mic night.
Jack: Bring Grace...or a date. Ha ha, I'm just kidding.
Will: [reads flyer] "A roller-coaster ride of emotions." Who said that?
Jack: A critic...OK, my shrink.
Jack: I am now. Me, a piano and a spotlight. I'm calling it "Just Jack." Here's my flyer. "Just Jack." One night only. "Just Jack."
Will: Why one night? Oh, it's open mic night.
Jack: Bring Grace...or a date. Ha ha, I'm just kidding.
Will: [reads flyer] "A roller-coaster ride of emotions." Who said that?
Jack: A critic...OK, my shrink.
[Jack comes in dressed as an alien.]
Will: sherif , after closer examination, I believe I have identified the lifeform as ... gaylien.
Grace: We come in peace. Please do not rearrange our furniture.
Will: sherif , after closer examination, I believe I have identified the lifeform as ... gaylien.
Grace: We come in peace. Please do not rearrange our furniture.