Hammer quotes from What If...?

You know, when I was seven years old, I wanted a Red Rider BB Gun more than anything in the world. I begged my parents, I begged Santa for it, accidentally got my tongue stuck on a telephone pole...

Isn't that a... a classic movie?

Yes! The one with the leg lamp!

Hey, shut up. But I didn't get the BB gun that Christmas! Do you know why?

You'll shoot your eye out!

Because this is America! And if you want something, you gotta take it!

Oh, the day you've been dreading has finally come -- the day that you face off against Tony Stark's greatest adversary...

"Greatest adversary"? What are you, a wealth tax?

The only difference between a hero and a villain is good PR. You see, redemption in this country, it isn't about penance. No, it's about rebranding, and that Hulk blood was gonna be my chance, and then you stole it from me, Happy Hogan. Don't worry; I will reverse-engineer it after I dissect your twitching corpse.

Darcy

Don't let him spook you, Happy!

That's right, Ho-Ho-Hogan, I got your girl Friday, but all I want for Christmas is you.

Darcy

Oh-ho! Gotta admit, that's some solid holiday wordplay.

Hey, thanks! Penthouse. Five minutes. Or your intern gets a bullet from Santa.

Darcy

[Offended] But I'm adorable!

Oh, and Happy? Do us all a favor. Don't be a hero.

Happy

Turn the elevator on. I'm coming up.

[after Happy saves him from falling to his death] You saved me? Why?

Happy

It's Christmas, Hammer. Goodwill towards men. Even the bad ones.