Thor quotes from What If...?

Thor

My father has ruled Asgard for centuries. And, look, the most interesting thing that he's ever done is fall asleep. He only cares about duty and, blah-blah-blah-blah, responsibility. Well, I'm not gonna be like him, right? The boring king? Uh-uh.

But Heimdall sees all. If we try anything, he'll call Frigga.

Thor

'Oh, ye of little faith. We are going to the most backward, backwater planet that not even Heimdall pays attention to. Alert the realms. Party on Midgard!

Hey, Whitesnake. We need to chat.

Thor

The name is Thor, with a "T" and an "R" and an "O" and an "H". But not in that order.

Thor

You called my mother on me. That wasn't a cool thing to do, but it was the right thing. So, thank you.

Jane

You're welcome.

Whoa. Is it... really you?

Thor

If you are referring to your doom, then yes.

Bummer. I thought you were the dude from Van Halen... (passes out)

Thor

I'm... Van What?

Stark

(to Thor) Hey, Lighting Boy, we kind of have a "team thing" going on here!

Thor

And I have a "duty thing" going on here, Mustache Man, to see it that the boy submits to Asgardian justice!

T'Chaka

Which entails... what, exactly?

Thor

Eternal flagellation, impalement, some light maiming — you know, standard stuff.

T'Chaka

There is an ancient Wakandan proverb, from the days before our tribes united: "One only wins a two-front war by getting out of your enemy's way."

Thor

Meaning...?

Stark

If you can't fight 'em both, let 'em fight each other.

T'Chaka

This American libation is surprising delicious; what do you call it?

Uh... Light beer?

Thor

Huh, how exotic! ANOTHER!

Thor

Many, many thanks to all of you for this fine victory banquet... But I am afraid I must bid thee farewell.

Lawson

Come on, what about dessert? Hank burnt a pie.

Thor

The boy may have destroyed Ego's corporeal form, but his planet still lives; and the universe will not know peace until I have avenged the ones we've lost.

Perhaps you forgot, Goldilocks; we have sort of a "team thing" going on here.

Thor

(smirks) Then I suggest you suit up...team.

King Thor

Uh, Sir Fury! With whom do you speak?

No one, Your Highness. Only a pretty bird.