Captain Carter quotes from What If...?

Captain Carter

[While falling through the portal] Blimey– bloody– bollocks!

Captain Carter

(narrating) There was a superstition back during my days in the war, that victory was its own sort of curse. Because every battle you won, every inch you gained, would mean you're only getting further from home.

Captain Carter

Gremlins, Aliens, Jurassic Park. Collect enough dangerous, well, anything and something always escapes.

Captain Carter

Okay, starting a prison riot of Universe Killers... not my best idea!

You're an agent. You're not qualified for field duty.

Captain Carter

Then you better promote me. "Captain" has a nice ring to it.

Steve

[wearing an armored battle suit resembling the Iron Man Mark I armor] Stark made me some new dancing shoes. What do you think?

Captain Carter

Well, then we better start dancing.

Howard

Red, green, blue... Who paints a button blue?!

Captain Carter

Don't tell me the American playboy needs help pushing buttons.

Howard

Hedy Lamarr and I spent a weekend together, but she wasn't teaching me German!

Captain Carter

No, don't. Stop right there.

You know, Bernard in Accounting was asking about you.

Captain Carter

Nothing good has ever followed the phrase 'Bernard in Accounting'.

What if his name was Steve?

Captain Carter

Ouch! Just when we were becoming pals, Widow.

Captain Carter

But this Ultron could be hiding anywhere in the Multiverse?

The Watcher

Yes.

Star Lord T'Challa

Behind an army of killer robots?

The Watcher

Afraid so.

And armed with a full set of stones?

Strange Supreme

She's got a point.

The Watcher

I never said it would be easy.

This is a suicide mission.

Um, excuse me, yeah. Is there a universe of Chinese food that has alternate dimension delivery? Tummy's getting rumbly. [chuckles]

Strange Supreme

[whispering aside to the Watcher] You picked them.

Captain Carter

I take it you know the Captain Carter on your universe?

Strange Supreme

No. Captain America. In my universe, Steve Rogers received the serum.

Captain Carter

Now that would be a sight to see.

[Chuckles] I'm too fast. [gets tasered from behind by Natasha (CCU)]

Don't tell me, he was your type?

Captain Carter

[stands up and hugs Natasha (CCU)] Oh, Widow, I've never been so happy to see you.

Did you hit your head or something?

Captain Carter

A few times, actually.

Well, shake it off, 'cause you're gonna want all your marbles for this one.

Fury

There's been rumors about the HYDRA Stomper's survival since the 1960s.

Captain Carter

The 1960's?! Why wasn't I debriefed on this?

Fury

Because we didn't debrief you on Bigfoot, either!

Captain Carter

Wait, what?

Steve

As long as I was going on a mission, I could pretend you weren't gone. It's crazy.

Captain Carter

No, not crazy. Very human, actually.

You are Captain Margaret Carter. The epitome of womanhood and science. I don't know whether to kiss you, kill you, or dissect you.

Captain Carter

Let me guess. Maybe all three.

Yes, good plan!

That is she? The one who can save our queen?

More. The one who can save our world.

Captain Carter

So much for taking a night off. Watcher! WATCHER?!