Darcy Lewis quotes from What If...?

Jane

[speaking on the phone] Two years ago, the same anomaly struck Star Alpha Icarus and the entire star dimmed and then, poof, disintegrated. [indistinct voice answering] Yes, I know this is the Parks Department, isn't there something you can do?

Darcy

[shouting] Talking about the end of the world, my dude!

Jane

I'm gonna go talk to him. I'm gonna make first contact with an alien.

Darcy

First? I think half the Strip beat you to it. You can make first contact with, I dunno, that guy. He looks like a loser.

Howard the Duck

[does a spit take into his martini] Ha! Big talk coming from a brunette.

The only difference between a hero and a villain is good PR. You see, redemption in this country, it isn't about penance. No, it's about rebranding, and that Hulk blood was gonna be my chance, and then you stole it from me, Happy Hogan. Don't worry; I will reverse-engineer it after I dissect your twitching corpse.

Darcy

Don't let him spook you, Happy!

That's right, Ho-Ho-Hogan, I got your girl Friday, but all I want for Christmas is you.

Darcy

Oh-ho! Gotta admit, that's some solid holiday wordplay.

Hey, thanks! Penthouse. Five minutes. Or your intern gets a bullet from Santa.

Darcy

[Offended] But I'm adorable!

Oh, and Happy? Do us all a favor. Don't be a hero.

Happy

Turn the elevator on. I'm coming up.

Guten tag.

Yes! Alright, we're up. Disengage the Veronica Hulkbuster Protocol.

In the beginning, men controlled machines. Now machines control the fate of man.

Yeah, okay, right! Are you calling the Avengers?

As they say in German, no.

What the hell is this program, Siri for nihilists?!

Darcy

It sounds like my dad.

(offscreen) Hey, enough! The '80s called, they want their song back!

Howard the Duck

Ah ha ha, that's so funny. Or it would be, except for the fact that KISS wrote that song in '79! A-duh!

Darcy Lewis

Sorry, Mrs. Switzler, we're just trying to put the baby to sleep.

Nick Fury

What do you know about the Cosmic Convergence?

Darcy Lewis

Wait. The Convergence? Wasn't that on my due date?

Nick Fury

Exactly. And many believe the planetary alignment was a sign. The birth of a great new power.