Tony Stark quotes from What If...?

Stark

(to Hope) Fifty years later, Captain America's still saving my ass.

Wait. You're giving him Obadiah's job?

Killmonger

Yeah, I-I dunno, Mr. Stark. I think I'm more of a soldier.

Tony

Which is why it's perfect. You. Me. We'll be like Butch and Sundance.

They died at the end, Tony.

Stark

Okay, bad example.

Tony

[about Killmonger's design for a combat machine] Wow, uh, bold design choice.

Killmonger

[defensive] What? I like anime.

Tony

Oh, worst case scenario, we have the world's most expensive Gundam model.

Stark

For a minute, I really thought it was you and me against the world.

Killmonger

But we're not fighting the same battles, Tony.

Stark

Two gear-head orphans trying to do right by our fathers? We sound the same to me.

Killmonger

The difference between you and me is that you can't see the difference between you and me.

You guys are making a mistake. Peter's not behind all this; it's his dad. He says he's like a weird alien space god, or something.

Stark

(sarcastic) Yeah, great! Blame the absentee father. I get that enough from my own son.

Stark

(to Thor) Hey, Lighting Boy, we kind of have a "team thing" going on here!

Thor

And I have a "duty thing" going on here, Mustache Man, to see it that the boy submits to Asgardian justice!

T'Chaka

Which entails... what, exactly?

Thor

Eternal flagellation, impalement, some light maiming — you know, standard stuff.

T'Chaka

There is an ancient Wakandan proverb, from the days before our tribes united: "One only wins a two-front war by getting out of your enemy's way."

Thor

Meaning...?

Stark

If you can't fight 'em both, let 'em fight each other.

Stark

Bucky, when you see that kid, all you see is a target — But I see a future; a life he can lead, the good he can do...and I see it you too.

(coldly) You. Don't. Know. Me.

Stark

Steve Rogers did. (Bucky's eyes widen) And the man he knew — the friend he loved — would never take that shot.

Your victory might've been glorious, but it will also be short.

Tony

Victory? Glory? People died. I lost a friend. Do you know what it's like to see your home world destroyed? Almost brought to its knees by a madman? Huh? Did you know about Daddy's plan? Did you watch as those things tried to break us?

You were lucky. Next time..

Tony

There won't be a next time, Xena .

Tony

[to Valkyrie] My guess — and I'm in no way speaking from personal experience — you want the thrill. To feel alive, if only for a moment, y'know? So you can forget whatever mistake has you chasing that demon in a bottle.

[putting down her bottle] First, Demon in a Bottle is sewer water. This is Demon Rum. Top-shelf. Gold label.

Korg

You're really gonna risk everything for a bunch of strangers on an alien junk planet?

Tony

Yeah, that's what I do. I'm Iron Man.

Korg

Iron Man? Wow! Your mother must be proud. I bet Mrs. Iron brags to all the neighbors.

So, um, Mountain Man said something about the "spawn of Thanos" being on your tail.

Tony

Yeah. I hear he's the type you wouldn't wanna meet in a dark alley.

You shouldn't be here, you should be running.

Tony

Ever hear of campground rules? "Always leave a place better than you found it."

Captain Carter

No arc reactors in 1602...

Stark

Again with the beautiful gibberish! Keep talking, it's like opium to my ears.