Okay, I can picture me, sitting on a pony, wearing a bright purple hat. I-I was wearing the purple hat, not-not the pony. Do they even make pony hats? Anyway, I was looking fabu!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
CCreator
Okay, Jade, what do you hate?
Uh, tuna fish, flowers, uh, giggling, the word "panties", cilantro, rainbows, ducks...man, I hate ducks. Cramps, string cheese, clocks, wet doorknobs, bras that hook in the front, the color yellow, carpeting...
You wanna watch it with us?
No. They rejected me!
Yeah, but i'm on it!
I gotta go change a lightbulb.
Um...oh! I know. I squirted hot cheese all over my friend and her current boyfriend, who was my ex-boyfriend, and then I kissed him right in front of her, which I felt really bad about. But then it was okay, 'cause she punched me right in the face.
[Tori and Beck's fake phone conversation:]
Hey, it's Beck.
Hi, baby.
Sup?
My parents aren't home.
Oh, that sounds pretty good.
I know! I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.
So, guess what I want?
Aw, you want me to tickle your tummy?
Yeah, sure.
You should come over.
Yeah, my girlfriend's not gonna like that.
I won't tell her.
Okay, I'll be there soon.
Alright. Love you, miss you.
You make me happy.
[kisses phone] Muaahh!
Bye.
Later. [hangs up]
She almost KILLED me!
I wouldn't have actually killed you.
Oh, aren't you sweet.
Hey, Beck. (sticks arm under his nose) Smell my arm. No perfume — that's my natural scent.
I have to live with her.
(to Beck) Your lemonade, sir.
Thanks. Hey, why's it pink?
It's pink lemonade.
I've never seen any pink lemons.
There are no pink lemons.
So what makes it pink?
Well... you know, it's — shut up!
(fake fighting with Beck) Who put my dog in a wedding dress?
It was hilarious.
Y'know what, this friendship is over.
Eat a rag.
You eat 2 rags! (to the producers) ...Did ya get all that?
KKyle
Tori Vega, Beck Oliver, Jade West, and Andre Harris, congratulations! You're all going to be featured on The Wood.
And what about me?
KKyle
No.
Why not?
KKyle
Because you reek of desperation.
That's her natural scent.
TTeacher
Tori, can you make your sister leave?
Trina, stop embarrassing me or I'm gonna embarrass you.
Don't threaten me.
When Trina was six, our family went to the mall just before Christmas-
Don't say it.
And she peed.
Tori!
On Santa Claus.
(makes embarrassed sound and leaves)
So what's the plan?
I don't know. You're smart, she's mean. You think of something.
One time, when I was seven, I was at the beach and I made a sand castle, and I named it Cat's Castle. (pause) True story.
I'll go find some cheerleaders that need a ride home.
Will they be wearing their uniforms?
That's what makes them cheerleaders.
Okay, would you rather give up the Internet or your foot?
Foot.
Foot.
Foot.
(lifts up knee with Jade's foot on it) Jade's foot.
You would all rather give up a foot then the internet.
Yeah.
You love the internet.
Yeah, but your foot's like a part of your body and the internet's... Yeah, my foot.
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