Where's Mom?
I'm not sure if Mom's here. I mean-Mom's here but I don't know if "Mom"'s here.
Am I high?
Maybe a little bit.
Listen, I want to thank you for being such a strong, supportive kid. I'm lucky.
We're lucky, Mom. Because of you, we get to be interesting.
Do you like being interesting?
I love it!
Mom?
No. Mom keeps her ass-crack in check. It's "T".
[He turns around and sees a pink thong] I can see that now.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's United States of Tara pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.