Evelyn [watching a telenovela]: So you see that stripper? She used to be a nun, and she's pregnant with the butcher's baby, but she doesn't know that the butcher is her second cousin.
A story as old as time.
S1 E15Brothers
Daniel, The Times called wanting a quote, Dr. Phil called offering his services, and E! called wanting to do a reality show about your family.
Justin [to Hilda]: I'm not crazy about the animal prints and you're a little over-accessorized, but you have your own style. It's cool.
S1 E16Derailed
GGrace
Julie now has a husband, two kids and a dog.
Oh, that's nice.
GGrace
In her mind. She's in a mental institution.
It's complicated coming back from the dead.
Oh, please. Donna Karan does it every three years.
GGrace
Maybe I should stand out in the snow for three hours and cry icicle tears.
Worked on that one for a while?
GGrace
Twelve years.
JJoel
Have we met?
WWilhelmna
We're not even meeting now.
You do not say no to Sarah Jessica Parker! She's the Holy Grail of Fashion!
I know!
And this is your big chance! And my big chance: to meet her husband, Ferris Bueller Parker.
S1 E17Icing On The Cake
Oh, my. What a cute little house. I can put it right in my pocket.
So you're the one.
I beg your pardon?
You're the ho that's been stealing my man.
It's unlikely that we will have the same man in common. We certainly don't have the same hairdresser.
Daniel [to Grace] A woman who likes sex three times a night and doesn't like to cuddle? Where have you been all my life?
A Hermes scarf. How pretty. I'm sure my cleaning lady will love it.
GGabe
I should probably know better than to date my patients anyway. Especially the cute ones.
S1 E18Don't Ask, Don't Tell
I'm starting not to remember the feel of rain, the smell of freshly mowed grass.
Papi, we live in Jackson Heights. The grass smells like fried onions.
Marc This is our new office? It has fluorescent lighting! I will not be looked at under this merciless glare!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Ugly Betty pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.