TTim
I’m a stock broker now.
You manage money? In school you couldn’t manage to put on deodorant.
S2Two Guys, a Girl and a Homecoming
Oh Berg this is heaven.
I always knew heaven would have an open bar!
Unlike you I’m proud of what I do.
TTommy
You’re not happy being a stripper?
Tommy!
You told him I was a stripper?
TTommy
Sorry, ‘exotic dancer.’
And when it rains he gives me his jacket.
DDeb
Rick gives me his jacket too.
Yeah but Johnny isn’t an alcoholic.
Do you remember life before the luxury box?
Only vaguely.
S2Two Guys, a Girl and an Elective
Wow, these are the blueprints to the original Fenway Park!
You know in real life it’s much bigger.
So tell me, how are we going to work through these negative emotions?
Well I’m going to lunge at you and beat you to death with my sports broadcasting book.
If he’s so smart, why does it take him four days to fix a jukebox?
Cause every night when he goes home I break a different part.
And Lasasso dunks it! Just like a man!... (becomes uncomfortable) Of course, I don't mean to imply that women aren't as good as men, they're just slower!... It's like a handicap, but not a bad one! Hey, one day maybe we'll even have a woman president! We almost had a black president! (by this point Sharon is screaming at the radio for him to shut up while Berg is plastered right up against a window trying to get Pete to stop.)
S2Two Guys, a Girl and an Internship
How was your first shift without me?
Oh, it was horrible. People were being professional, Work was being done. No one even had the decency to follow me around with a jar of eyeballs, singing 'I Only Have Eyes For You'.
S2Two Guys, a Girl and a Wedding
Aren’t ex girlfriends supposed to drop off the face of the earth and if they can’t do that at least be really miserable. Or get really fat.
I already have a tux.
Of course for the jukebox repairman awards.
You’re right. I do have feelings for you. There are you happy?
I’m happy, I’m stunned, I’m shocked, I’m a walking festival.
It’s not that simple. The problem is I have a…
You have a what? A plane to catch? A rash?
No Berg, I have a boyfriend.
I say we chip in and get the night vision goggles.
Cause there’s nothing that says commitment and trust like surveillance equipment.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.