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S8 E1

Two and a Half Men · Season 8, Episode 1

“Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud” quotes from Two and a Half Men

4 quotes

“Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud” · Season 8, Episode 1

In this episode: Charlie (4), Alan (3), Berta (1), Judith (1)

An orgy requires a minimum of six people.

What?

It goes (counting on his fingers) masturbation, one-on-one, three-some, two couple swinging, two couple swinging with a looky-loo, (holds up six fingers) orgy's six.

Berta: These pants were in the mailbox.

What the hell were they doing in the mailbox?!

I dunno; but there's postage on 'em.

Well I clearly had a plan at SOME point...

[Alan & Charlie see a girl sneak out across Charlie's deck]

...Yours?

Alan, she's, like, 16.

Again I ask, hoping I won't be called to testify...yours?

No! She's coming from Jake's room.

Why would a girl be leaving Jake's room at 7 in the morning?

Why do you think??

Oh, come on, he's 16!

Not everybody waits until they're a junior in college, Alan.

Sophomore, and I still wasn't emotionally ready.

I gotta pee. You mind, Judith?

Just try to hit the bowl this time.

Don't worry, I only miss when I've been drinking. [takes a swig of beer]

[leaving through the front door] I'll wait in the car.

[Charlie spots the two girls from before now sneaking out of the house, unseen by Judith and Alan]

Hey, Judith, is there surfing around here?

What're you talking about? We're 20 miles from the beach.

That's what I thought...I'm so proud of that kid!

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