Two and a Half Men · Season 5, Episode 4
Thank you for a lovely dinner.
You're welcome. [they kiss]
Good night.
Wait, wait, wait. Are you sure you don't want me to tuck you in?
I don't need to be tucked in, Charlie.
Oh, come on, everybody needs a good tucking once in a while.
Well, then, go tuck yourself.
I guess I'll have to.
Hot girl at twelve o'clock.
Where?
Over there.
That would be nine o'clock.
No, it's twelve. Actually, it's 12:05. Twelve-ish.
You want to straighten him out, or should I?
Go ahead, take a swing.
OK, the reason guys say "Hot girl at", like, "twelve o'clock" or "three o'clock" is to specify a location using the clock face as kind of a map.
What if you have a digital watch?
First of all, you're not gonna meet any women if you're wearing a digital watch.
Why is he [Charlie] dating a judge? Is he trying to get out of something?
No, more like he's trying to get into something.
Good one.
You understood that?
Not really. That's how I knew it was good.
[Alan is naked besides a towel around his waist, and two clippers on his nipples]
Charlie?
What?
I need your help.
If you're doing the laundry, all I can say is you're doing it wrong.
No, no, the, uh, the lady I've been seeing, you know, uh, Linda's friend, Donna? Uh, she wants to, how shall we say, take it up a notch.
Yeah, so?
I'm out of notches.
Fine, what do you need?
A younger man's penis.
[knocks on the door]
Oh, for God's sake. Who is it?
Room service, señor.
We didn't order anything.
Uh, champagne, compliments of the hotel.
Can you slip it under the door?
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