Top Gear · Season 21
[After Jeremy and Richard ridiculed James for his review of Caterham 160 and Superlight 620R]
Have you quite finished?
Well, not really because there's a lot to go through but, sadly, we must now find out how fast these cars go round our track and that, of course, means handing them over to a man who can actually drive.
[On The Stig]
Some say that he once put Helen Mirren in a dishwasher. And that at the Winter Olympics he was disqualified from the skeleton event for riding down the hill on an actual skeleton. All we know is he's called The Stig!
[While driving the Touring Disco Volante]
[voiceover] So, it doesn't feel like an 8C. And it certainly doesn't sound like one either.
Oh, it's the most… soulful-sounding car I think I've ever heard. It's as though the entire exhaust system is actually made out of Otis Redding.
[On the Touring Disco Volante's high price]
And what's amazing is that, in Singapore, you're not allowed to drive a left-hand drive car on the road. So he's paid £1.5 million for a car he can't drive.
He's completely mad.
He isn't — somebody's just paid, what, £42 million for a Francis Bacon painting. You can't drive that, either. [laughter]
It's not a car.
James, I haven't got time for your pedantry.
[After The Stig gets in a Nissan GT-R to pull tablecloth off a table]
Hold on a minute.
Yes, what?
So you are saying, he is going to drive across our darkened studio, peering through his darkened visor?
Yes.
Is this how this Stig dies? [laughter]
Has he done a book?
No, he hasn't. Right, is he ready?
[During the opening sequence]
[voice over] Tonight, Richard opens a glove box, James pulls a face, and I ask an important question. [spoken on camera] Have you ever put toothpaste on your testicles?
[On The Stig]
Some say that his hair is the exact same shape as a hat. And that if he worked for CNN… [rubs his hands together as the audience laughs] …he wouldn't get such pitifully low ratings that his show got cancelled. [loud laughter and applause as Jeremy smiles broadly]
[In the Porsche 918 Spyder]
McLaren have used hybrid technology to liven up a supercar today. Porsche have used hybrid technology to save the supercar for tomorrow. This is an important car.
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