Top Gear Season 18 quotes

Jeremy

There was the famous one when Michael Schumacher got his lifetime achievement thing in Brazil, from Pele, and Martin Brundle said, "Did you see the ceremony?" You said no because...

I was busy. [laughter]

Jeremy

"Taking a dump," is what you said.

I mean, I told the truth, a true story, so...

Jeremy

I fell off my chair laughing! [laughter] I like this one. "The helmet has a special meaning for many drivers. How important is it to you?" You said, "It protects my head."

Jeremy

You stole the hat?

Yeah. Then I went next door and stole a poncho belt and cut it up and put it around the top and I've been wearing it ever since.

Jeremy

You do know this show is shown in America?

It's OK. It was long enough ago that the statute's up by now.

Jeremy

OK, so you're going to get away with the stolen hat. There's some gossip we didn't know. Slash wears stolen clothing.

Richard

Why does it say 1 + 2 = 2?

Jeremy

[voiceover] And, with that sorted, we got to know the other drivers.

Jeremy

I notice from the entry sheet you're all called Gary. [laughter]

I'm not! [laughter]

Jeremy

Yes... Do you mind if I call you Gary, just to keep everything clear?

No, that's fine. Just keep it simple.

Jeremy

OK, but who is called Gary? [two men raise their hands] You're Gary, you're Gary and you're both in my class?

James

You are racing in Gary class... [laughter] so you are Gary Clarkson.

Jeremy

[voiceover] Next up in the stock hatch class was Professor Richard Hammond, who was still trying to get to grips with the scoring system.

Richard

Six plus one equals one, because that's the result they carry forwards... which means I could end up in final C, which... C comes before A... I'm just going to drive around as fast as I can.

Jeremy

Come on, Gary! Gary, I'm going to get you! I've got Gary up my chuff here and I'm trying to take Gary on the inside. [voiceover] Then the super-modified Garys put me in my place. [the car behind Jeremy rams him on to the grass] I may be off the track slightly here.

Jeremy

I'll tell you what. He's a lot better at that than he is at driving.

Richard

And he's quicker!