[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight, Raikkonen...
KRKimi Raikkonen
Oops.
Evans...
CEChris Evans
Can't believe it.
Slash... and bash, as we do proper motor racing.
“March 11th, 2012” · Season 18, Episode 7
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (7), Richard Hammond (3), James May (1)
[While Jeremy goes over his favourite quotes from Kimi Raikkonen]
There was the famous one when Michael Schumacher got his lifetime achievement thing in Brazil, from Pele, and Martin Brundle said, "Did you see the ceremony?" You said no because...
KRKimi Raikkonen
I was busy. [laughter]
"Taking a dump," is what you said.
KRKimi Raikkonen
I mean, I told the truth, a true story, so...
I fell off my chair laughing! [laughter] I like this one. "The helmet has a special meaning for many drivers. How important is it to you?" You said, "It protects my head."
You stole the hat?
SSlash
Yeah. Then I went next door and stole a poncho belt and cut it up and put it around the top and I've been wearing it ever since.
You do know this show is shown in America?
SSlash
It's OK. It was long enough ago that the statute's up by now.
OK, so you're going to get away with the stolen hat. There's some gossip we didn't know. Slash wears stolen clothing.
Why does it say 1 + 2 = 2?
[voiceover] And, with that sorted, we got to know the other drivers.
I notice from the entry sheet you're all called Gary. [laughter]
GGirl
I'm not! [laughter]
Yes... Do you mind if I call you Gary, just to keep everything clear?
GGirl
No, that's fine. Just keep it simple.
OK, but who is called Gary? [two men raise their hands] You're Gary, you're Gary and you're both in my class?
You are racing in Gary class... [laughter] so you are Gary Clarkson.
[voiceover] Next up in the stock hatch class was Professor Richard Hammond, who was still trying to get to grips with the scoring system.
Six plus one equals one, because that's the result they carry forwards... which means I could end up in final C, which... C comes before A... I'm just going to drive around as fast as I can.
Come on, Gary! Gary, I'm going to get you! I've got Gary up my chuff here and I'm trying to take Gary on the inside. [voiceover] Then the super-modified Garys put me in my place. [the car behind Jeremy rams him on to the grass] I may be off the track slightly here.
[After Slash performed Jessica at the end of the show]
I'll tell you what. He's a lot better at that than he is at driving.
And he's quicker!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.