Top Gear · Season 12
[James has run out of fuel in the pouring rain]
Cock. This is a massive "Oh, cock". How can it have run out? That rain makes a really annoying noise on my colander-- helmet. And it comes through.
[later]
this nice man has stopped on an old Russian motorcycle and I think he's going to give me some petrol. What a nice man. In fact, I think I'll pay him. [he starts to remove of his gloves, then sighs] Me d?ng's going to be all soggy, isn't it?
[After bring told that they couldn't get any more spare parts for their bikes and found out that the "backup transport", if they couldn't keep their bikes going with tools is a Honda Chaly mini-bike with a "Stars and Stripes" paint job]
Oh god!
Oh yes, that is a bit...
Oh, God, I don't think so!
It's slightly conspicuous
[some music starts playing loudly, it's "Born in the USA" by Bruce Springsteen, it's the "Star Spangled Banner" in the DVD edition]
That's "Born in the USA", evidently.
[some thunder rumbles and some Vietnamese start running towards them in the distance]
That's thunder...and the village...have you noticed there was a rumble of thunder, and the village arrived..? I-...
[He struggles to find the right words]
Children, if you're watching this at home and you don't know why this is inappropriate, ask your parents, but this is as inappropriate a bike as it is humanly possible to conceive.
[After being asked a question in Vietnamese]
[In English, completely guessing what she asked] Always give way to the car from the right!
[Whole class bursts out laughing]
You had a one in a hundred chance of being right, but it was in the wrong language.
[several times, no matter what Jeremy does] Jeremy Clarkson: Fail!
I've always said that if my children buy a bike, I'll burn it. If they replace it with another one, I'll burn that one too. Now when they buy a bike, I will completely understand. And then I'll burn it.
[voiceover] With just 50 miles to go, Hammond went berserk!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH! The speeeeeeed!!
He's just a... prat!
[Having just run out of fuel in the pouring rain] Oh cock... this is a massive "oh cock"!
What a journey! 700 miles on my bike, 250 miles on a train, and about 50 miles on my face.
[Having just been told they will have to make their bikes amphibious to get to the actual finishing point.]
How hard can it be?
DON'T SAY THAT!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
