[During the opening sequence.]
In tonight's Top Gear: A Knight in our reasonably priced car; Maserati's new coupe takes on our track; and lock out your door mirrors: we set out to find Britain's fastest white van driver.
S1 E8December 8th, 2002
Now you said to me before we went out, you said, "Can you roll it," and I said "No no!"
MGMichael Gambon
No, I didn't mean--I thought, "would it roll?"
Well, yes, plainly all the evidence...
While we're on the subject of parking, I, um... you know where we nail this program together, it's in the middle of London, okay, there's a multi-storey car park next door, two hours: £9 in there. So if you're two hours and five minutes, eighteen quid. Well, I went into Oxford last weekend, parked on double-yellow lines, right outside where I wanted to be, okay? Took the children out for lunch, went to see James Bond, got back five hours later... twenty quid parking ticket. That's pretty reasonable!
I got a ticket the other day, and I kid you not, for being parked badly. Since when did it become like ice skating? Where they're all standing there, well, no, I don't think that is well parked, 4 out of... and only 3 from the Nigerian judge!
Used to live in Fulham right next to the car pound in London. so you could drive up the west end, have a few drinks, leave the car, wobble home best way you could, wake up in the morning, they've towed it home for you. It was pricy, but kind of worth it.
[Reading the information Audi sent them on the new gearbox for the Audi TT.]
As on conventional manual gearboxes, the transmission ratios are present on input and auxilliary shafts in the form of pairs of toothed wheels. In contrast to manual gearboxes, the input shaft is divided into two sections. It comprises an outer hollow shaft and... Oh, look! Are there any engineers here? Is there anyone here who has that first, tiny grasp of engineering?
I mean, is it an automatic or a manual even?
[pointing to an audience member] You! You have. Look, I'm going to give you this and by the end of we've finished the news I want to understand that gearbox. Work it out. It's your homework.
[Still on the Audi TT gearbox]
Is it an automatic or a manual?
It's witchcraft! That's what it is.
[Watching Michael Gambon in the Suzuki Liana.]
You had to look at the gear lever to change there. Which is kind of like reading moving your lips... which I suppose is what you do for a living really.
S1 E9December 22nd, 2002
[During the opening sequence.]
In tonight's Top Gear: The ultimate family cars; what is the best hot hatchback; and the Stig meets his match on our track.
No, you see I had one last week: Boxster S, new car, fantastic really, the most beautifully balanced... I felt like a prat.
[On the news of the MV Tricolor sinking with nearly 3000 new cars on board]
But there's plenty to talk about. Most important of all, of course, Jacques Cousteau opened a dealership in the English Channel.
[On the MG SV.]
If Oliver Reed and Russell Crowe made mad man-love on the set of Gladiator in an angry brawl, this would be the result.
S1 E10December 29th, 2002
[During the opening sequence.]
In tonight's top gear: The Mick Jagger of supercars; our quest goes on to find Britain's fastest faith; and the Stig sorts out TVR's new coupe.
JJason
...and the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car...
Yeah...
JJason
...in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.
[On the Bugatti Veyron.]
A thousand horse power!
That is an astonishing amount of power.
You'll go from nought to the grave in 4 seconds. Boof! I'm dead. I accelerated... Dead.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.