[on the Jaguar XJ6]
James: This car has that magic X-factor that we like so much on Top Gear. You'd sort of expect it to be really boring, but then when you drive it, you discover it makes perfect sense. I mean, here's a Jaguar that saves you a shedload of cash, and in return, all it asks is that you just press the pedal a bit harder. That's it!

[on the Jaguar XKR]
Jeremy: ...while it doesn't have a shed load of power, it is still quite fast. You passed sixty miles an hour in 4.9 seconds. You passed a hundred in thirteen seconds, and that's good... but imagine how good it would be if it had more power!

[On the Koenigsegg]
Jeremy: For instance, it's made from autoclaved epoxy pre-impregnated carbon fibre, it's a true semi-monocoque: the front end is mounted on a chrome molybdenum subframe, and the engine sits on top of a machined aluminium dry sump that's also a supporting beam for the rear subframe. That's interesting. And there's more, too, because none of this behind-the-scenes technology has interfered in any way with what Koenigsegg call the general ichthyomorphic design principle, these are the... the aesthetics. And the best bit of those aesthetics are the dihedral synchro-helix actuation doors.

[On the Koenigsegg]
Jeremy: You could drive this thing to the gym, turn around, go straight home again; you'd have had more exercise than if you'd done a workout!

[on the Lamborghini LM002]
Jeremy: When I started in this business, writing about cars, I was earning... about 40 quid a week. OK? I borrowed one of these, took it into a petrol station, to fill it up... £147!

[on the last service bills of their classic luxury cars]
James: What was yours?
Jeremy [hands his bill over to James]: Read it and weep, that's the last service bill.
James [meets him with disbelief]: Ehhh?! Fifte-.. [bursts out laughing] I misread that at first - 15 thousand...
Jeremy: Yeah, and...
James: 15,950 Pounds and 59 pence.
Jeremy: Yes, 15,900 Pounds for a service.
James: Was that...
Jeremy: There was quite a lot needed doing, if I'm honest...
James: What did he do? Buy you a Golf? [starts laughing again]

[on the Lexus LS300's colour rear-view video camera]
James: You have to get a more expensive television licence to reverse that car.

[on the Lexus RX300 ad slogan "It Changes Everything"]
Jeremy: I don't want to go home tonight and find my front door's moved, and that all my children are badgers and that I'm married to Frank Bruno! I don't want it to change everything.
Richard: And this'd be a gardening program and we shouldn't be talking about that anyway.
Jeremy: Well, exactly! And do you know, the thing is, that - you know those advertising standard authorities? They always say you've got to be, what are they, truthful... ?
James: Hang on, it's: [ticking them off on his fingers] Decent, honest, legal, truthful.
Jeremy: So that advert must be true.
James: That would be great! You could buy the Lexus, and then you'd wake up the next day and it would've changed into a Jaguar! With a bit of luck.

[on the Maserati MC12 achieving the fastest lap to date]
Jeremy: You know, well, speed isn't everything... I can't believe I've just said that!

[on the Mazda RX-8]
Jeremy: It's almost like they had a styling suggestion box at the factory, they got millions of ideas and then said "I know! Let's have all of them!" So it's got triangles and curves and gills and the back window from a Ford Anglia and look at these lights. They're busier than a bishop's hat!

[on the McLaren F1]
Jeremy: You know that bit in Dr. Strangelove, when Peter Sellers is astride the nuclear missile? That's what it's like... You don't know where you're going, you're in no real control, you just know the journey's going to end very soon, and very badly!

[on the Mercedes Benz CLK63 AMG Black]
Jeremy: If it had a tongue, it would go around licking windows.

[on the Mercedes-Benz CL65 AMG]
Jeremy: ...it even has the traditional Mercedes voice activated computer which doesn't understand a blind word you're on about. Let me show you... Dial number.
Mercedes Computer: Dialling.
Jeremy: I haven't told you what to dial yet... Dial number.
Mercedes Computer: The number please?
Jeremy: [quickly] 01785.
Mercedes Computer: 0785.
Jeremy: No, you missed the one.
Mercedes Computer: Pardon?
Jeremy: You missed the one.
Mercedes Computer: The number is deleted, please continue.
Jeremy: See what I mean?
Mercedes Computer: 202.
Jeremy: Where did that come from?
Mercedes Computer: Pardon?
Jeremy: And so it goes on.

[on the Mercedes-Benz CLS 55 AMG]
Jeremy: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

[on the Mercedes-Benz CLS 55 AMG]
Jeremy: Listen to that noise! It's like Barry White eating wasps.